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Thread: She makes me crazy!

  1. #1
    Avenger08 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default She makes me crazy!

    Hey guys, first off i woukd like to apologize if this kind of issue has already been talked about.

    Backstory: I dated this girl from august to november last year, we broke up because she felt i believe it was smothered lol we were always together, either staying at my place or hers. We never faught or even had an argument..

    After we broke up we stopped talking and she went on to date someone else, and someone else after that.

    4/5 weeks ago we made contact again and started to talk again. We talked about how we missed each other and such. Then the kicker, she started to date someone haha. However that didn't last long at all. We then started to talk more and hang out.

    We would cuddle while watching movies and i would stay over at her place and when we slept she would have her arms wrapped around me with her head on my chest and claimed it was the best sleep she got. but we would not have sex or kiss, she told me she wasnt ready and that she wanted to take things slow and work out her issues that she was having and what not so we would start off on a fresh slate.

    She has told me that after we broke up she fell into depression and was never happy with anyone else except me. She claims to love seeing me and all that stuff haha. She was having a hard time with her family not caring about her and just wanting money (i have witnessed this). I told her to book off a weekend and that i would take her on a relaxing kind of romantic weekend to Seattle. She got so very excited and can't wait to go.

    1 week ago: A friend of hers got evicted and had no where to go so she took him in. We had a long discussion/argument about it as she said that she was starting to like him but didn't know what was going to happen. She still tells me that she loves spending time with me and she swore that nothing was going on and that our weekend coming up would be a great way for us to reconect.

    Present: shes still excited for our trip in just under two weeks, she still loves seeing me and we text a lot.

    The problem: this other guy she claims nothing is going on but how do i know that there isn't? When i go home and she goes home sinve he's living there for the next little bit.

    It also seems like its getting to be a battle between me and him to see her and more frequently she seems to get distant and short with her texts. How do i get her to chase after me? Also how can i get her to start kissing me.

    Also how can i make sure that the weekend is not a bust and be able to seal the deal?

    One thought i had was getting flowers sent to the hotel and call the hotel and ask them to put it in our room for her so its there when we walk in the door.

    Sorry for the long post but i really care for her and want to see what could be at least so i need help with ways to win her over and have her chase me with no regrets? I am going to read articles on here and other sites but just thought someone would have great ideas

    Thanks so much for any advice/help in advance.

  2. #2
    EMSaenz's Avatar
    EMSaenz is offline PUA With Mad Respect
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    Default Re: She makes me crazy!

    First off, put a zero tolerance on all thoughts related to the other guy. Every time a thought comes up, say "Stop It!" to yourself.

    Focus only on the girl and you. You can't allow yourself to think of him at all when you're with the girl. You have to train your thinking NOW so that you can, AT WILL, push all thoughts of him out of your head.

    Thinking of another man will cause you to get jealous, confrontational and you'll end up w/a limp biscuit when it comes time to pour on the gravy!
    Carpe diem!

  3. #3
    TheManSohan is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She makes me crazy!

    I have witness similar things and the above poster is 100% correct. Thinking about the man is poison for your relationship. End of discussion. Don't think about him and don't bring him up. Make the whole weekend about the two of you and enjoy the fun. She's far too invested in you to drop you for another man.
    I am only responsible for what I say, not what you understand - The proverb of a true activist.

    I'm not driven by fear, I'm driven by Danger

  4. #4
    cesar3003 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She makes me crazy!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheManSohan View Post
    I have witness similar things and the above poster is 100% correct. Thinking about the man is poison for your relationship. End of discussion. Don't think about him and don't bring him up. Make the whole weekend about the two of you and enjoy the fun. She's far too invested in you to drop you for another man.
    you'd be surprised what women are capable of...
    English is my second language

  5. #5
    Avenger08 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She makes me crazy!

    Thanks guys, however what about the other issues about like getting her to chase after me? It feels like i have to initiate everything. Also the reason we haven't kissed or slept together is due to her wanting to go slow but how can i speed it all up? I would like thenweekend to be amazing lol.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: She makes me crazy!

    A lot of women pull stuff like this. They hold off on sex with guys that take them out on dates and smother them with attention. Attractive women will have a few guys at a given time that they keep around for validation purposes but have little intention of actually sleeping with them. Women are emotion junkies. It is not uncommon for them to be sleeping with someone while they keep other guys around as validation friends.

    You are being way too available and predictable for her. Things are good for her right now. You are giving her validation and she knows she can see other guys and you will be waiting around for her afterwards. How do you get her chasing you? By not being available to her all the time. If she thinks or rather sees that there are other women competing for you, she will have to work harder for your attention. You have to demonstrate to her (not tell her) that if she wastes your time that you will move on and find someone else. Start taking longer to respond to her texts and actually ignore some of them all together. Don't engage in long comfort talks like a friend would either. Tell her about exciting plans you've made with friends and then don't invite her. When you are out, don't text her. She will spend the night wondering what you are doing.

    If all else fails, time to start dating other women. Most of these issues tend to solve themselves when you have other women on the go yourself. You end up communicating all the right things naturally instead of forcing them. Women sense other women, and they will compete for your attention. It's a farked up world...welcome!

  7. #7
    Avenger08 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She makes me crazy!

    Thanks, thats actually what i have been trying to do, i try and wait for her to text first, also i noticed the other day that when we are together and my phone goes off she right away turns to try and see why it went off.

  8. #8
    dave_xxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: She makes me crazy!

    Quote Originally Posted by Avenger08 View Post

    Backstory: I dated this girl from august to november last year, we broke up because lol she felt i believe it was smothered we were always together, either staying at my place or hers. We never faught or even had an argument..

    After we broke up we stopped talking and she went on to date someone else, and someone else after that.
    I am going to break up your post into several parts so it's easier to reply to the several things you are doing wrong.

    Spending all of your free time together will kill most relationships. You will smother it to death.

  9. #9
    dave_xxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: She makes me crazy!

    Quote Originally Posted by Avenger08 View Post

    4/5 weeks ago we made contact again and started to talk again. We talked about how we missed each other and such. Then the kicker, she started to date someone haha. However that didn't last long at all. We then started to talk more and hang out.
    She reconnected with you , you made yourself EXTREMELY available and needy. She went and farked another guy instead of you. Stop being so easily available. Make her work for you. Think of yourself as the prize.

  10. #10
    dave_xxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: She makes me crazy!

    Quote Originally Posted by Avenger08 View Post

    We would cuddle while watching movies and i would stay over at her place and when we slept she would have her arms wrapped around me with her head on my chest and claimed it was the best sleep she got. but we would not have sex or kiss, she told me she wasnt ready and that she wanted to take things slow and work out her issues that she was having and what not so we would start off on a fresh slate.
    You are giving her everything she needs without her giving you anything in return. She gets all the emotional support she needs from you only to go back to her roommate to get her sexual needs fulfilled by him. Move on you have been friend zoned.


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