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Thread: What does she want?!

  1. #1
    GucciNobou is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default What does she want?!

    So there's this girl I've known for years now but we've only been messing around for about 3 months. We don't really hang out often, but we have multiple times during these past 3 months. Typically I initiate the contact but occasionally she will too. My concern is that she seems to be really busy all the time and it is very discouraging when I text her because she will take hours to respond sometimes, and whenever I ask her to hang, she most likely cant because she is occupied doing something. However when we do hang out and we have privacy, we tend to make out and "play" with each other, and she almost can't resist me at all. so I am confused on how she feels about me. my goal is to have sex with her and hopefully she'll then display more interest(make more time and be more available)but I don't know how to get things there. many say that she most likely wants a relationship, but she and I both know that we are graduating in a few weeks and won't see each other after summer break because we'll be attending different Colleges. Regardless though I am indifferent to it

    -How does she really feel about me?
    -Will I need to make her my girlfriend in order to f*ck?
    -And how should i question her to see if she even wants a relationship?

  2. #2
    Dizzie's Avatar
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    Default Re: What does she want?!

    1. It sounds like she's into you
    2. You don't have to make her your GF to fark her
    3. For the love of god, don't ask her if she wants a relationship (even if its what you really want, don't discuss this yet)

    Have you had her in places where sex can realistically happen? I'm guessing you are in highschool? Are you getting further with her everytime you see her? Some girls just require a little extra time before they are ready. Make sure you get her to a comfortable seduction location. There are also several resources on physical escalation on this forum that I recommend you brush up on before next time. Good luck!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: What does she want?!

    Dizzie is dead on for all of this. In terms of physical escalation, David DeAngelo has an awesome guide on physical escalation. It's only a few pages, and it's pretty easily explained.

    One important note to add: when the lucky moment does come around and end, beware of buyer's remorse. If you don't know what it is, or how to address it, click on the link of it here and read up on it. If you're not careful, it will destroy any future chances you have with this girl.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  4. #4
    Dj Chill is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What does she want?!

    Well there it is in plain english...."both know that we are graduating in a few weeks and won't see each other after summer break because we'll be attending different Colleges."

    FWB? Probably dude you can get some beneficial action but thats about all you can expect if your going to two different colleges. Alot want to be single going into college...and probably as well do not wish to embark on any type of long distance relationships.

  5. #5
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: What does she want?!

    DJ does have a point. It's usually like less than 10% of high school relationships last through Freshman year. I should know; I'm a part of the 90 percentile. Once you develop the right Mindset for it, being single can be an incredible experience. You can have your fun with this girl, but don't take it too seriously. It may cause her pain to do so.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  6. #6
    GucciNobou is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What does she want?!

    Thank you guys for your advise and resources, but what can I do to get her to text me more and display more attraction? Because I dont want to seem too needy by always being the one to set dates and stuff, I am perfectly capable of disregarding her and bagging other chicks, The issue is im not quite sure how she views our relationship (our relationship to me seems to be between a friends with benefits, and boyfriend/girlfriend) And I dont want her to be hurt when she hears around that Ive been messing around with other chicks. Also, how should I ask her to hang out because although she seems genuinely busy sometimes, I get the feeling she could squeeze in time to chill.

  7. #7
    Dizzie's Avatar
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    Default Re: What does she want?!

    If you want her to start chasing you and texting you more you need to be in control of the Tempo. Here are a few ways of doing this:
    1. Always be the one to end the communication first. The best time to do this is when the conversation has reached a peak. Basically end the conversation at a point where she is laughing or she is having a really good time.
    2. Vary the amount of time you take to respond to her texts. Don't always respond right away. Also, don't always feel like you have to answer all her texts. Sometimes I like to wait to see if she will re-engage me and send a second text. If she does this, you know you are in control of Tempo.
    3. Don't be predictable. Let her go to voicemail every once and a while. Alternate between the phone and texting. Don't always text her at the same times everyday. Mix it up.

    As for setting up dates. You need to take the lead on this one. I might let a woman take the reigns and plan something the odd time after I've slept with her but as a general rule you should always take charge. At least in the beginning. Remember, plan your dates close to home or in a location where sex can realistically happen. One of my favourite date ideas is to have the girl come over for a scrabble night (or any other board game). It provides the opportunity for playful banter and usually ends in the bedroom. Cheers!

  8. #8
    GucciNobou is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What does she want?!

    Thank you guys, much love for the advice and support. Final question: how can I distinguish weather she wants to be fwb or wants a relationship for future references?

    In addition I know you guys told me she's into me and that she's most likely not looking for a relationship, but I have a gut feeling that she does and because I havn't "stepped up" and asked her to be my gf, she doesn't make herself as available and is losing interest.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: What does she want?!

    Don't worry about what she wants so much. Worry about what YOU want. Women change their minds all the time. She might just want a short term relationship affair for the summer. Different women have different ways for solving their need for male companionship (both emotionally and physically). Some girls like sleeping around, some like keeping a bunch of AFC friends around for validation, others feel like they have to constantly be in a relationship,...etc.

    Figure out what YOU truly want, but beware of the implications of being in a relationship with this girl. Most likely it will not last longer than the summer but who knows. We can analyze your situation all we want on this forum but it's actually YOU that's experiencing the situation. Take all you can from all the advice given but realize we are only going by the experience you are reporting and we were not actually there. Good luck!

  10. #10
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: What does she want?!

    If she tells you that she wants nothing serious, then you know it's a friends with benefits. As for trying to figure out whether she wants to put you on the back burner or not, she will usually say things like "Let's wait a while" or "Maybe one day we'll start dating".

    Given that, I highly recommend against sitting around and waiting for her. If she wants to put you on the shelf and go around having fun with other men, than I'm going to move on with my life and have fun with other women. I'm not going to stick around just because she says that there might be some potential between us in the future. I'm not her puppy dog, and neither should you be.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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