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Thread: How to deal with "not ready"

  1. #1
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default How to deal with "not ready"

    Hey gents,

    this is a new one for me.

    Met a lady during daytime, at a place where I usually go pretty much everytime.

    There is an insane amount of "chemistry" between us. Seriously, it had never happened before with me (full, brute honesty side-to-side and a feeling of "nothing can go wrong" that is just incredibly alpha). The freakiest is that she feels the same way. She actually said it: "Even though we've only known each other for little time, it feels like I've known you forever".

    This doesn't happen often, I reckon. We both feel incredibly confortable with each other. I'm not afraid of being "friendzoned", lets use this expression, as I find it impossible to make friends with the opposite sex. There's always too much sexual Tension and I'm not a fan of talking too much about myself.

    The problem is, she just went off from a long relationship. She said she wasn't ready for dating, getting into a new relationship. We've gone on a date, and everything went well. A lot of things happened since, which IMO are leading to her retracting herself a bit, probably realising she's having too much of a good time with me and she's not in "the zone"

    Well, I've always been really impulsive. If something feels right it usually is right. I've negged her once and I am making sure that I skip most of her invitations to go out with "her group". I'm still not sure if it's not counterproductive (might need your advice here), but I always think that the least I say and the more efficient I am, the less chances I have of making mistakes. Going out with her and "a group" is a double-edged sword:

    a) I may show her how much of a social leader I can be, which in fact is attractive.

    b) I may end up seen as just another part of her group of friends.

    And to avoid b), I avoid a)

    At the moment this isn't going anywhere specific with my persistence, so I reckon, in order to avoid suffocating her (which is what she doesn't want to feel), I might as well give her time off from me. I've already shown her how good we are together, she only needs to realise it by herself now.

    What do you guys think I should do to make her overcome the hiatus from relationship-esque situations she wants?

    Jok3r
    Veni, vidi, vici.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: How to deal with "not ready"

    Quote Originally Posted by Jok3r View Post
    Hey gents,

    this is a new one for me.

    Met a lady during daytime, at a place where I usually go pretty much everytime.

    There is an insane amount of "chemistry" between us. Seriously, it had never happened before with me (full, brute honesty side-to-side and a feeling of "nothing can go wrong" that is just incredibly alpha). The freakiest is that she feels the same way. She actually said it: "Even though we've only known each other for little time, it feels like I've known you forever".

    This doesn't happen often, I reckon. We both feel incredibly confortable with each other. I'm not afraid of being "friendzoned", lets use this expression, as I find it impossible to make friends with the opposite sex. There's always too much sexual Tension and I'm not a fan of talking too much about myself.

    The problem is, she just went off from a long relationship. She said she wasn't ready for dating, getting into a new relationship. We've gone on a date, and everything went well. A lot of things happened since, which IMO are leading to her retracting herself a bit, probably realising she's having too much of a good time with me and she's not in "the zone"

    Well, I've always been really impulsive. If something feels right it usually is right. I've negged her once and I am making sure that I skip most of her invitations to go out with "her group". I'm still not sure if it's not counterproductive (might need your advice here), but I always think that the least I say and the more efficient I am, the less chances I have of making mistakes. Going out with her and "a group" is a double-edged sword:

    a) I may show her how much of a social leader I can be, which in fact is attractive.

    b) I may end up seen as just another part of her group of friends.

    And to avoid b), I avoid a)

    At the moment this isn't going anywhere specific with my persistence, so I reckon, in order to avoid suffocating her (which is what she doesn't want to feel), I might as well give her time off from me. I've already shown her how good we are together, she only needs to realise it by herself now.

    What do you guys think I should do to make her overcome the hiatus from relationship-esque situations she wants?

    Jok3r
    Every guy has sexual tension with women, and the only way you will get into the friendzone is if you are put there haha, the girl makes that decision. So, I say just keep gaming her like normal, act like you never heard her say "im not ready", two things will happen, she will eventually fall for your game and just say screw it im in, or she will continue to say she isn't ready which if this happens I say move on. However, her saying she isn't ready means she is, she is testing you, she wants you to pass it because she has in fact already decided she wants to be with you. Balls in your court

  3. #3
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to deal with "not ready"

    Nah it's not the woman that decides the friendzone. I give two options: dating or oblivion. I'm yet to know if it is positive or negative

    Yeah, but there is a point/limit where the persistence stops being "high test" and becomes annoying. But I see your point. If I stop, it goes nowhere. Pretty much like it actually started off because I made an effort for it to start.
    Veni, vidi, vici.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How to deal with "not ready"

    Welcome to women haha, why do they do any of the BS they do, we will never understand

  5. #5
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to deal with "not ready"

    I hate games, they love games. I might get real the next time I see her and actually say that "I'm enjoying the effort she's making in delaying the dates we're gonna have".

    I just don't like this approach because it puts the ball in her court too much. Even though it's a wake up call it also is "a lot of talk and no action".

    Inflatable dolls are easier than women. And they talk less even though they have their mouth open all the time.
    Veni, vidi, vici.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How to deal with "not ready"

    Quote Originally Posted by Jok3r View Post
    Inflatable dolls are easier than women. And they talk less even though they have their mouth open all the time.
    lol. That makes for a nice quote. I have another one for you here by David X.

    'What if she just wants to be friends? What if she’s not ‘over’ her ex? You either fuck her or you don’t. It’s black or white. There can’t be any brown, gray, or blue. You’re not immortal. If she’s not ‘ready’, it usually means, “Stick around for now until I find something better.” If her favorite rock star asked her out, do you think she would say, “I’m washing my hair tonight”? She would probably make time for him! If she’s not making time for you, that’s ok. Somebody else will. There’s 6 billion people on the planet, and half of them are lonely women. And a funny thing happens when you just say ‘ok’ and walk away effortlessly. Suddenly she may change her mind. If she does, great. Let her chase after you for a while. You have to realize that their cunts aren’t more valuable than our cocks. We're both after the same thing -- each other.'

  7. #7
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to deal with "not ready"

    The problem is that everyone takes tomorrow for granted, so we are all allowed to care about reactions. You only get what you want when you really want it. I know and I apply that, until society corrupts me again.

    Gonna leave here my favourite quote of all time, that completely changed my approach in life into a "carpe diem" style of living, brutally honest when I talk:

    Out, out, brief candle!
    Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
    That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
    And then is heard no more. It is a tale
    Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    Signifying nothing.

    - Macbeth Soliloquy Act 5, Scene 5
    Veni, vidi, vici.

  8. #8
    WayToLameness is offline Banned PUA
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    Default Re: How to deal with "not ready"

    Hey Jok3r,

    It sounds like you just have to give her time. If she wants you to come out with her and her friends, that's a good sign. It means she wants to spend more time with you and get to know you better, but she is just not ready to get into a full on relationship. As she is just out of a long term relationship, this is perfectly understandable.

    Give her time. Don't shoot yourself in the foot by trying to rush things or by removing yourself completely from the situation.

    Good luck!

  9. #9
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to deal with "not ready"

    Yeah, definitely is. The other day one of her friends turned to me, in front of her, and said "She doesn't stop talking about you. She absolutely loves you". She got all quiet, didn't even reply. I made a joke out of it, but even though this was just a tease, it definitely has a certain amount of truth in it.

    I've definitely been really aggressive. The thing is I'm not a fan of flirting/messing around without actually getting anything out of it. I find it pointless, specially when I know for a fact that this has the possibility of going somewhere good, and it will eventually. It's just the idea of delaying something that could happen now kinda messes up with my head.

    But hey, I'll play around/stick around if needed be. Never even tried something along those lines...

    Cheers
    Veni, vidi, vici.


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