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Thread: lost cause after 4 dates? advice please

  1. #1
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default lost cause after 4 dates? advice please

    well been out with this girl four times now.

    Had a good time on all of them played ok game (still learning)

    Last Saturday she was drunk and told me on the phone 'I really like you' I changed the subject onto something else and she got really hissy I said I had to go as it was getting busy and couldn't hear (I was out clubbing).

    Anyway we went out a few days later for food, date went well and we parted ways. She did have a but of a huff about my "playful banter" she said she wasn't sure if I was joking or not, I laughed and smiled.

    She's gone very cold not really texting but snap chatting abit but that's stoped now.

    We were suppose to go out Friday and I got a text "hey sorry to be so sh1tty but im so hung over I cant make it today I really wouldn't be much fun anyway xx"

    So I replied abit later "ohhhh that sucks.....but seeing as its self inflicted no sympathy from me :P. That's cool the guys were twisting my arm to hang and get some beers later. Hope the hangover passes soon!"

    After this I haven't heard a thing and its been a few days.

    I Sent a all contact snap chat last night and shes opening my snap chats?

    Thoughts is this fooked and ready to next?

    next moves if any.

    cheers

  2. #2
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: lost cause after 4 dates? advice please

    Last Saturday she was drunk and told me on the phone 'I really like you' I changed the subject onto something else and she got really hissy I said I had to go as it was getting busy and couldn't hear (I was out clubbing).
    right here is where you really screwed up, when she told you she "really likes you" that's a statement of interest from her, any time a girl does this you need to reward her interest otherwise she will lose her interest because she doesn't feel that you are reciprocating that interest.

    when a girl tells me "I really like you" i have to reward her for being interested in me. i need to use a line like;

    " awe that's so cute, i like how your not afraid to tell me how you feel, i admire that in a woman"

    by giving her an ioi in exchange for her ioi it makes her feel that i am reciprocating the interest

    unfortunately communication is irreversible, there is little you can do in this case, just learn from it and try like hell not to make the same mistake again

  3. #3
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: lost cause after 4 dates? advice please

    Thanks man


    In terms of recovery what do you suggest if anything at all?

  4. #4
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: lost cause after 4 dates? advice please

    In terms of recovery what do you suggest if anything at all?
    honestly, i suggest cutting her loose. let me tell you a story.

    basically back in my AFC days (over a year ago) i had this girl on the line, one day she texted me...

    her: i was just thinking of you

    and of course i slipped up...

    me: your definetly not the first girl to tell me that

    needless to say, that caused her to get all upset and go on a big rant for the next 4 hours. even though i got her calmed down, it changed how our relationship was, she stopped investing and i overinvested witch caused her to loose attraction and friend zone me. i continued to attempt to game her for the rest of that college semester, but i never got very far with her.
    to sum up things she caused me to waist nearly 4 months pursueing her when i should have had other girls.

    though i have to admit that i learned more from her than almost any other girl i spent time with. though it was just a lot of heartache that taught me some of my hardest lessons.

    don't let this girl pull you around, drop her and find better girls.

    always make your mistakes worthwhile: learn not to make those same mistakes.

  5. #5
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: lost cause after 4 dates? advice please

    thanks man!

    guess I already knew what you were going to say haha

    NEXT

    lessons learnt and all. Just set up a 1st day for Wednesday. I love the game!

  6. #6
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: lost cause after 4 dates? advice please

    Funny....... Shes just started hitting my phone up again.

    Ha! recon its a Freeze Out now?

    thoughts? may aswell experiment and learn from this.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: lost cause after 4 dates? advice please

    I'd have to agree with Meteora on this one; it's a horrible feeling to open up and make yourself vulnerable and get insensitivity from the other end even when the other person feels it as well. I've had it happen to me, and I know girls who have been driven to hating men who do this.
    She's probably still interested but shift the game to rapport, comfort, and closing. Think about when a girl rejects you at the bar; you probably try a few times, game it as much as you can, and if she doesn't reciprocate anything, you get pissed and move on. She hasn't given up yet, girls like a challenge, but for God's sake don't do that again. Have you done anything physical? I'm sure your wit and negging are great, keep em in check on the next date and try to move in.

  8. #8
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: lost cause after 4 dates? advice please

    Thanks for the advice man! I haven't replied to her text just yet.

    Its along the lines of 'hey I had a really early night last night how are you? been out for lunch with the family today"

    How and when would I reply to avoid furking this again haha

  9. #9
    Lancelot's Avatar
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    Default Re: lost cause after 4 dates? advice please

    I'm hesitant to give specific answers because I don't have an exact feel for the situation. "That's really cool, (Name). Family is sooo important. I don't know what I'd do without mine. What's your favorite spot for a family lunch like that?" That's just an idea, it DHVs in a comforting sort of way and honors one of her values, which is family.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: lost cause after 4 dates? advice please

    Meteora has a great great point. If a girl shows interest like that or opens up to you like that you HAVE to reward that kind of behavior. Make her feel good when she admits things like that. Nobody wants to feel like there wasting there time.
    When she told me that I would of responded something like. "awe that's so sweet, I really like sweet girls who are honest about there feelings."
    Boom. You made her feel good about doing that.


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