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  • 1 Post By Swagman
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Thread: Need Advice on a Friend telling me she wants to hook up with someone

  1. #1
    Perez91 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Need Advice on a Friend telling me she wants to hook up with someone

    I've been friends with this HB7 for over a year now but we didn't hang out much because she had a bf of 3 years and I was pursuing my best friend.

    She recently broke up with her bf and told me she wasn't feeling him anymore and ended it.

    This past week she invited me to have lunch with her. I went and she said that she had also invited two other friends but that they didn't reply to her. After lunch she took me on a walk. We talked and I did a lot of Kino (touched her hands and arms and flirted).

    Today was the first day back at school and we had orientation together. We sat next to each other and I did more kino and continued flirting. After orientation was over she asked me to go with her to Staples and I went. On the way back I was doing kino in the car (touching her legs and arms), I then invited her over for dinner. She accepted and we came home drank a few drinks and I cooked dinner.

    During dinner we started talking about the types of people we like to date. I was making fun of her and telling her she only dates a certain type of guy. I continued kino and would place my hand on hers for at least 20 seconds and then let go. At one point I tried to touch her hair and she was like "what are you doing?" I stopped but continued kino by grabbing her hand etc.

    Then, out of nowhere she told me she feels like she is a heartbreaker and that she wants to try and just hook up with a guy. While she was saying this I had my hand on top of hers and was rubbing her fingers but she wasn't rubbing them back. I wasn't sure if she wanted me to say "I feel the same" (since she knows my sex life and that I basically hooked up my best friend w/o having a relationship--she even mentioned this).

    Stupidly, I got up to do dishes and then sat down on the couch when she said that it was getting late and that she had to go home. I almost let her go out without even opening the door for her or saying bye. Then I said "wait I don't even get a hug?" She came back in and we hugged and awkwardly I moved close to go in for a kiss and freaked out and turned and then she gave me another squeeze and we hugged again.

    I am confused. Does she want me to make a move or was I just interpreting this wrong?

    I personally don't think she likes me as she mentioned this other guy and that she invited him on Friday to go out with her. (I thought this could be a sh*t test)

    I want to go out with her. How should I continue? Ask her to hang out again and just go in for a kiss? or tell her that I feel the same way she does and that we should try each other?

  2. #2
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Advice on a Friend telling me she wants to hook up with someone

    All I read is Kino, kino, and more of the same kind of kino. You may have known her for a year, but how was rapport building? No matter whether you just met her or if you have known her forever, rapport always remains an important part of attraction. I see that you teased her and flirted with her. Was she laughing and reacting positively to it, or did she seem like she was annoyed with some of it?

    Judging by her reaction when you touched her hair, I can say that she probably felt uncomfortable by your constant touching of her. You can't be lathering a girl 24/7 with your hands. In a system of push/pull = success, you literally grabbed her with your hands and did a full on pull. She probably sensed you were mega interested, and it made her shaken around you.

    No matter what, you CANNOT decide to bail halfway in a move. It's an all or nothing thing. Once you decided to go in for the kiss, there's no turning back. The only thing that will stop you is her rejection. Escaping the situation to do the dishes was also a mega mood killer.

    The best way to tell if she did want a kiss is by looking for something called triangulation. If she looks at your lips, then up to your eyes and alternates between the two, and then back down to your lips to repeat the cycle again, then she wants to kiss. If she isn't doing this, then it would be a safe bet not to move in for the kill.

    Your only safe bet is to continue like nothing awkward happened. If there is another man involved, then it doesn't look good for you. I have learned previously that once her eyes are set on them, it will only take some really powerful game in order to win the target back over.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Advice on a Friend telling me she wants to hook up with someone

    Quote Originally Posted by Perez91 View Post

    Then I said "wait I don't even get a hug?" She came back in and we hugged and awkwardly I moved close to go in for a kiss and freaked out and turned and then she gave me another squeeze and we hugged again.
    Swagman did a great job of dissecting your interaction with this girl.

    You come across as an AFC when you BEGGED for the hug. Never, ever beg a girl to do anything. That's what a beta would do. It will end in failure when you do so.

    Another way to do a compliance test for a kiss is by asking her:

    " Do you want to kiss me?"

    1/ If she says, "No."

    Then you can say, " I didn't say you could. I only asked you if you wanted to."

    2/ If she says, "Yes." Then you go ahead and kiss her. Either way you come across as an alpha.

    This is from the Mystery Method. Always got to give credit where it is due.

  4. #4
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Advice on a Friend telling me she wants to hook up with someone

    Thanks Dave, and I agree as well on begging. If you wanted a hug, you should offer it to her. If I were in your shoes, I probably would have said "So I see you don't want one of Swagman's signature hugs".

    Quote Originally Posted by dave_xxx View Post
    " Do you want to kiss me?"

    1/ If she says, "No."

    Then you can say, " I didn't say you could. I only asked you if you wanted to."
    I have read Mystery's stuff before, but as it is with me and most of the gurus, there is always one or a few little things that I just don't agree with. This little bit is one. The response to a no can be seen as defensive, and it will actually bring you down than bring you up.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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