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  1. #1
    TheGeneral's Avatar
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    Default Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

    I need some brilliant minds to help me develop a game plan here.

    I have been putting off posting this up for a few days now. Long story short I recently moved backed to college. There is an HB who lives a floor above me. She came down to our party last Thursday night, where there were a ton of other HBs. I don't know how I ended up so focused on her. (Keep in mind that this girl is a freshman, she is kinda immature)

    Anyway, I isolated and ended up making out with her for a while on my back porch. Saturday night after she came over again and she was all over me, but I was walking to the bathroom and I overheard her talking to one of her guy friends and all I heard was he yelled at her as to why she was all over me. At that point I turned and walked away, but after that the dynamic totally changed, she was ice cold.

    So all week she comes down to our floor and hangs out, but still ice cold. Finally, Thursday night rolls around, she is even colder. She went in my room to put her phone on the charger and I went in and asked her what her deal was. We ended up getting into a good fight for about an hour. The important things she told me were that she thought all I wanted her for was sex, she has some family issues, she said there was somebody else(probably still from highschool)... and it all led to... LJBF. I told her that was never going to happen. I should have walked out after that but I was too drunk to think of that at the time.

    Anyway, we argued a little longer but we walked back into the party everything was better just because we released so much tension. She would close the distance and I could actually get kino again. She sat down next to me on the couch and I put my arm around her and she was okay with it. Whatever that means. Then she came over yesterday to talk to me, but she was cold again, standing all the way across the room.

    Here is what it all comes down to. I know I should run away, but I'm not going to. I have only met one other girl like her, who I had a ridiculous romantic relationship with for a long time. She is an HB10, but her personality is what hooks me. She forces me to be to play my best game. When she is around I am always checking myself, so at the very least this is going to up my game, but it sucks because she devalues every other girl I come across. I met and f closed an HB8.5 last night, but it means absolutely nothing to me. Back to the point though, this girl is a huge flirt, she kinos every guy she talks to, gives eye contact, etc. On the flip side I think she has only ever slept with one guy, I'm not going to explain how I know this but it is solid.

    So the question is, how would you play this one?

  2. #2
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
    mackdaddyjacK is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

    Well one of the ultimate rules for any PUA is to never go AFC which essentially means your bright "ideas" of oneitis can be thrown right out the window. Remember you should never try to pull in a girl or get so hung up on her where you are trying to get exclusive. In a nutshell? You were jealous and showed signs of wanting to get exclusive to her and in her emotional state she LJBF'd you because she wants to have fun and you to her right now are not fun.

    Now you can turn this around not to say it is a bad thing. You have an HB10 in your target area, great. You will have to back away and be around her more often (don't go cold) but at the same time act indifferent towards her. Like dhv's would work great her by making out with other girls or hitting on other girls in front of her. This may cause her to chase you. Also it will work in your favor then because you will have more feelings for other girls and less feelings for her. Remember you are being a little too AFC here this is why I recommend a DHV not a Push-Pull. If you start chasing her again guaranteed she will back away and probably for good dismiss you. But if you DHV her she might get confused and wonder about you which will break your oneitis and give you more buying power. You can salvage here just recommend a cautioned approached rather than gung ho. You are past Gung Ho. Gung Ho is for no loss of value and you already lost some value to her but you can still salvage to restore yourself, love salvaging a damaged relationship worked so many times for me before.
    "It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." -Mewtwo

  3. #3
    TheGeneral's Avatar
    TheGeneral is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

    I like what you said about not showing signs about wanting to be exclusive. I will definitely be more conscious about that now. She is always around, and I have already started acting more indifferent towards her, which I think really works well because she gets a lot of attention from everyone else around her. I know I have to be the exception to the rule here. She was over a little while ago studying in my living room with me and 5 of my friends. We smoke hookah and she tries smoke tricks but she isn't good at them so I was making sarcastic comments like, "Wow, you are really good at that you should teach me." I think it worked because after a few comments like that she turned to me and playfully said, "Wow, you are just a sarcastic asshole tonight!" To which I just smiled and then turned back to my homework.
    Should I just keep playing that game? I don't think she is used to guys treating her like that.

  4. #4
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
    mackdaddyjacK is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGeneral View Post
    I like what you said about not showing signs about wanting to be exclusive. I will definitely be more conscious about that now. She is always around, and I have already started acting more indifferent towards her, which I think really works well because she gets a lot of attention from everyone else around her. I know I have to be the exception to the rule here. She was over a little while ago studying in my living room with me and 5 of my friends. We smoke hookah and she tries smoke tricks but she isn't good at them so I was making sarcastic comments like, "Wow, you are really good at that you should teach me." I think it worked because after a few comments like that she turned to me and playfully said, "Wow, you are just a sarcastic asshole tonight!" To which I just smiled and then turned back to my homework.
    Should I just keep playing that game? I don't think she is used to guys treating her like that.

    See? Worked like a charm being indifferent towards her. You played that one out well now there was a bit of romance going on there, lol. Obviously don't do it to the point of annoyance as she may think it is an act to get her and catch onto your scent. Just throw around nice little subtle advances of indifference here and there. Now might be a good time to dhv or Push-Pull. I think you kind of got yourself out of the dog house with the whole flirting going on and her throwing you more ioi's. She is likely sending you mixed signals now which is normal for women and their (often confusing) romantic intentions.
    "It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." -Mewtwo

  5. #5
    easyflow is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

    Do NOT get into a serious relationship with her. I repeat DO NOT GET INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH HER.

    Don't even start to have feelings for her. She is NOT going to change. If you wanna be friends with benefits, go for it. But if she is floating around at parties and getting flirty with different dudes, that is who she is. Nothing wrong with that, but if you want to avoid heartache and drama, find someone else.

    And don't become her "Gay male girlfriend" being there for her when she is upset about some other dude.

    If she is DTF, go for it, but in my opinion, don't try and have this one as a gf.

    I've dated the type, and it doesn't change. It's a self esteem issue, always needing her ego stroked, and she can only get her esteem from guys coming onto her and her being flirty.

  6. #6
    TheGeneral's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by easyflow View Post
    Do NOT get into a serious relationship with her. I repeat DO NOT GET INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH HER.

    Don't even start to have feelings for her. She is NOT going to change. If you wanna be friends with benefits, go for it. But if she is floating around at parties and getting flirty with different dudes, that is who she is. Nothing wrong with that, but if you want to avoid heartache and drama, find someone else.

    And don't become her "Gay male girlfriend" being there for her when she is upset about some other dude.

    If she is DTF, go for it, but in my opinion, don't try and have this one as a gf.

    I've dated the type, and it doesn't change. It's a self esteem issue, always needing her ego stroked, and she can only get her esteem from guys coming onto her and her being flirty.
    I hear you on this one. I have no desire to change her, and even less desire to stick around to be her GMG. However, I do want to be the guy to unlock her. I can't help but love the challenge, and I think it's good for a pua to rise up for a challenge versus running away from it. How do you master a girl with self esteem issues though?

  7. #7
    easyflow is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

    If you haven't heard of this guy already, go to youtube and search "Coach Corey Wayne". He is a life coach, he has I think around 1200 videos, most of them relating to relationships. He is not your typical PUA coach. People email him, and he answers the emails in his youtube videos. To be honest, I emailed, and he replied to me every time. It took him around 2-3 weeks to get back to me, but he has 100's of people sending him emails.

    Check him out, watch about 4-5 of his videos, the guy preaches the same stuff, "Hang out, have fun, and hook up". If you search around, I know you will find a few of his videos that will help you "understand" your situation.

    I don't work for the guy, but I subscribe to his emails, and am facebook friends. I watch his videos usually a few times a week, and they have helped me with relationships.

    As for your lady friend and her self esteem, only she can work on that. If she knows that getting attention from guys makes her feel good, than that is a quick and easy fix for her. Don't be surprised if she ends up in an abusive relationship with a train wreck of a guy.

    Keep us updated Bro. Coach Corey Wayne - Youtube

  8. #8
    TheGeneral's Avatar
    TheGeneral is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

    Update:
    This just keeps getting more and more interesting. I've backed off a lot lately because I've been busy with life but she came over last night to hang out with me and my roommates. We all sat around to do homework and smoke hookah. I just let her do her thing, she flirts with everyone but I've just accepted that because I know she puts almost every guy in the friend zone. I sit back and lay down the negs or Push-Pull when it seems right. She put on my reading glasses and I told her, "Wow you actually look kinda hot in those." She ate that up. I think it is because no other guys do that to her.
    She is really good at giving people eye contact when speaking to them but I have been getting a lot of it when we aren't saying anything. So that's good. She still reads a little hot and cold at times but I just ignore it.
    That being said I'm far from winning here. She grabbed one of the blankets out of my room to lay down on the couch around 1am. I went to bed at about 3am while she was still out in the living room with my roommates. My roommate told me today that she said she was going to knock on my door so she could sleep in my room with me but for whatever reason she never made it.

    So my question is, where do you think she stands? Is she into me or do I just want to believe that she is? I have a few other girls I'm gaming right now so it's not as bad of oneitis as it probably sounds but she is definitely my top priority right now.

    -By the way I watched Corey Wayne. He has some good stuff and he reminds me a lot of David Deida. Thanks for the link.


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