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  • 2 Post By DirtyOnPurpose

Thread: Getting mixed signals... annoyed her, appologized but no contact since

  1. #1
    99Problems is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Exclamation Getting mixed signals... annoyed her, appologized but no contact since

    A bit of background info:

    This girl is well known in my friends circle. Me and her have known each other for years but we rarely ever met up or hung out as friends... maybe 4 or 5 times in total. We were more of acquaintances and certainly not close friends. She is much closer to every else in the friends circle. I'm gonna refer to her as Jessica.

    Anyways, after years of most of us not seeing each other, myself and a few friends bumped into Jessica at a local club and had a bit of a "reunion". Myself and Jessica got talking via facebook and I asked her to meet up and have a catch-up. We did that and both had a great time. After that she was away on holidays for a few weeks and then for about 2 weeks she was sick with tonsillitis. During that time we still kept in contact and she was giving me the impression that she liked me. She would nearly always initiate contact, reply immediately, send me love hearts and x's, tease me and general flirting.

    So, I decided to ask her out again and see where things go. Since she was sick with tonsillitis and complained that she couldn't eat, I took the initiative to ask her out for a meal when she got better, which she agreed to straight away. The date day eventually came but unfortunately she couldn't go as she was babysitting. I told her there was no worries and that we could re-schedule for another time.

    Anyway... I was heading out with friends drinking last Saturday. To my surprise Jessica was also at the house where my friends were pre-drinking (I had no idea she was going). I was told by her best friend Laura (who is girlfriend of my mate who is also close friends with Jessica) that Jessica thought that I was pissed off at her for canceling our date on the Thursday. I told Laura that I wasn't angry with Jessica. During the night, I kind of avoided her and didn't talk much until we got to the club (i'm a shy guy). Me and Jessica eventually got talking in the club and seemed to have a good time.

    Fast-forward to when we got back to my mates house... by this time I was extremely drunk and kept falling over and being annoying in general. However, I wasn't being aggressive or insulting to anyone, just falling over the place but keeping myself to myself. Me, Jessica and my brother ended up sleeping in the same bed. Nothing sexual happened but I started holding Jessicas hand. She squeezed back and started playing with my fingers. We were basically spooning so I put my hand on her side. At this point her attitude changes completely and she tells me to stop touching her and to go away. I get the impression that she was starting to get annoyed with me again.

    When we woke up the next morning I wanted to talk to her and find out why she seemed in a bad mood for most of the night. Even before we got back to the house and the drink really hit me, others said that Jessica seemed to be in a bad mood. Obviously me getting really drunk later and touching her side must have made things worse. I realized that she was leaving (getting picked up in the car by her mum) so I quickly asked if she was mad at me. She responded with "no... there's no point". Didn't have a chance to talk much after that. I sent her an apology via text later that day which was also an attempt to find out exactly what was wrong with her. This is what I sent:

    "Sorry if I upset or annoyed you last night, I was really drunk and being a d1ck in general. You seemed annoyed with me but I hope everything is ok xx"
    That was sent last Sunday and since then there has been no contact at all. None via text, facebook or instagram. Nothing. Jessicas best friend Laura said she would talk to her and see what was wrong. Jessica has apparently been ignoring Laura too. I know Jessica isn't busy because she has been on facebook a lot this week and talking to my friends. It seems I am being given the silent treatment.

    So...

    My questions are this:

    1. What did I do wrong? One minute she is squeezing my hand and the next she is telling me to fark off. Apart from putting my hand on her side, I never touched her inappropriately.

    2. Why have I got no response to my apology? Its not like I done anything unforgivable like trying to get off with her, insult or assault her when I was drunk.

    3. Where do I go from here? Should I try contacting again and what should I say?

  2. #2
    DirtyOnPurpose's Avatar
    DirtyOnPurpose is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Getting mixed signals... annoyed her, appologized but no contact since

    You know doesn't take an expert to tell that girls act like that a lot of times just for a little attention. Manufactured drama I like to call it.

    Also, ignoring her when you see her first at the house cause you're shy instead of breaking the ice and then sealing the deal at the club was not so smart of you.

    Not to mention your text, needy and shows weakness. You are NOT sorry and you don't go out only to think of how it affected her, if you were a total douche that seriously annoyed someone then yea say you'll make it up but don't come apologizing to her for nothing. Unless you enjoy the friend zone.

  3. #3
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Getting mixed signals... annoyed her, appologized but no contact since

    You made no mistake with her in dyn.she just didn't like that you touch her side as if you just took advantage of holding her hand as a huge invitation that turned her off somewhat.
    As said you shouldn't have apologized.
    you may take back that statement.and yes laura in the strory wasn't been avoided
    "Laura said she would talk to her and see what was wrong."
    Whenever a girl states things as these it means the opposite.don't rely on such statements.run game, build more attraction, escalate.

  4. #4
    99Problems is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting mixed signals... annoyed her, appologized but no contact since

    Thanks for the insight guys, really helpful. I am unsure where to go from here as far as contact is concerned. I have some photos from that night that I haven't put on Facebook yet - I'm the photographer in the group - should I use that as a subject to initiate contact again? Or should I completely forget about that night and talk about something else (if so, what)? I'm also not sure whether to initiate contact again via text or facebook chat - we use both.

    I realize now that the apology comes across as needy and weak. As there's been no contact since then, I just want to get past this awkwardness and get talking again like we were previously. Any tips appreciated.

  5. #5
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Getting mixed signals... annoyed her, appologized but no contact since

    talk to her about photography.e.g.some girl you took pictures of that keeps buzzing your cell. or how you tried to find this contrast to images and eventually found you had to do x and the other.it was a bit downhill but you were glad when you managed your way through it.

  6. #6
    99Problems is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting mixed signals... annoyed her, appologized but no contact since

    I sent a text message on Sunday but got no response. I found out that on Monday evening she was involved in a car crash but wasn't seriously injured. She posted on facebook about it and thanked everyone for their text messages/calls/comments but said she is too annoyed to respond to everyone.

    I haven't talked to her about the crash yet. I don't want to send another text message (already sent two with no reply before). Do you think I should start a Facebook chat or leave a comment asking if she is alright? I don't want to annoy if she is mad at me for whatever reason. Perhaps leave it another day before trying to contact again?

  7. #7
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Getting mixed signals... annoyed her, appologized but no contact since

    Quote Originally Posted by 99Problems View Post
    and thanked everyone for their text messages/calls/comments but said she is too annoyed to respond to everyone.
    Hey man move away from this one..she sounds a bit stuck up and may be nice but it best in your situation to put her on the burner and talk to other girls for a while and come back.

  8. #8
    dave_xxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting mixed signals... annoyed her, appologized but no contact since

    Never apologize. It shows weakness.

    Also control your drinking. No girl likes a drunk guy and you want to be in control when you run game on a girl. Excessive drinking only makes a girl run away. We have all said and done stupid things when we have been drunk. If you want results with girls then learn to control your drinking and keep it to a couple of social drinks.

    Trust me you will do WAY better.

    As for this girl, freeze her out for a bit and re-engage in a couple of weeks on a topic unrelated to "that night". Maybe message her about the accident to re-engage.

    Most likely you need to move on as others have suggested.


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