Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    jackstraw98 is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 225, Level: 4
    Level completed: 50%, Points required for next Level: 25
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    81
    Points
    225
    Level
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    18

    Default girl is scared to leave bf behind but is totally in love with me

    maybe you guys will think im foolish, and if so, so be it. ive had something off and on with this girl for a while. i didn't know at first but eventually it came to light that she has had a long term long distance relationship. she initially left him, then he freaked out and had to have heart surgery and we broke it off. after about 6 weeks, I still couldn't get past wanting to be with her and I initiated us meeting up again and for the past month or so we have been seeing each other pretty regularly. but ive accepted the fact that im not comfortable with the situation, and ive made that clear to her. at first she told me she was sure she wanted to be with me but she asked for time to end it with the other guy definitively due to his health. the whole time ive been walking a tough and frustrating line of wanting to be with her, not committing, not wanting to walk away, but making clear that I needed her to change the situation for us to actually be together in a way thats good for both of us. in some ways I know I shouldn't be jealous of this situation, she's in bed with me, she's giving her effort to me, her affection to me, she tells me she loves me. but at the same time, the whole concept of her saying she loves me but not leaving the other guy, screws with my confidence and my own value. furthermore, she's gone back to saying its not just for his health but also that she's scared to leave what she sees as a secure financial future with him.

    ive tried to make her realize that if after 3 years, she doesn't have a ring, nor a house, nor even being with the person, only seeing each other once or twice a year, it doesn't really seem so secure. but she's still scared to leave all of that behind, and quite honestly I think she said she worries that she could regret that one day and put it on me. however she also says she's convinced she loves me, she wants to be with me, she knows she won't truly be happy with him, but she doesn't have the conviction to leave all that behind.

    everytime i get to the point where i feel like i should just walk away, I can't do it, it truly breaks my heart to do it. I mean, I all but did it this past week and her tears killed me, because its not really what I want to do either. she has said she doesn't feel right making me wait for her to decide. It kills me that she won't just go through with this for me (and really for herself as well). But it kills me to walk away from her as well, knowing that it is what we both really want.

    How can I push her to take action, or help her make this decision? Is walking away and telling her she needs to figure it out and then get back to me the right thing? I could lose her forever. Originally we had set a time of 3 weeks for her to get out of the other relationship, I see that's going to be a tough three weeks because everyday it continues like this it makes me more insecure and unsure. I mean, I love the girl, and want to be with her, and want to see what will/could happen, but I also don't want a future where she resents me or regrets her decision, or one where I eventually walk away and leave her alone. In some ways I get the risk for her, but I want her to take it. As not totally happy with things as I am, I don't feel like this has run its course.

    I guess at the end of the day, I don't see a "best" move in any of this.

  2. #2
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 11,383, Level: 70
    Level completed: 34%, Points required for next Level: 267
    Overall activity: 60.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered10000 Experience PointsSocial
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,000
    Points
    11,383
    Level
    70
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    518

    Default Re: girl is scared to leave bf behind but is totally in love with me

    She may like him find yourself another girl at least she was attracted.never tell a girl blatantly when her .. is sick to leave him.if may come off..and not best currently

  3. #3
    jackstraw98 is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 225, Level: 4
    Level completed: 50%, Points required for next Level: 25
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    81
    Points
    225
    Level
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    18

    Default Re: girl is scared to leave bf behind but is totally in love with me

    i see what you're saying hardrock. and ive been clear with her that if she wants to be with him, and the things he's promised make her happy, then that's ok, it hurts but ill leave, and she says she wants to be with me. i guess it comes down to we are both super invested in this emotionally and really time wise.

    the time frame she asked for im going to give her and do my best not to let this bother me anymore, at the end of the day she'll either decide to be with me or she won't and that will be her leaving the opportunity. will be a bummer, but hey, if she doesn't want it enough, she doesn't want it enough.

  4. #4
    maxtazm is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 151, Level: 3
    Level completed: 2%, Points required for next Level: 49
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    100
    Points
    151
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: girl is scared to leave bf behind but is totally in love with me

    very interesting situation. try to make it work if you can, otherwise go get another girl. My favorite move is to give her an ultimatum and say him or you and see what happens.


Similar Threads

  1. Girl at work, wont leave me alone.
    By Roachie in forum General Questions
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 11-13-2012, 04:09 AM
  2. Girl in long distance relationship, convince her to leave him
    By hellsing3000 in forum Isolating And Pulling
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 10-31-2012, 10:23 AM
  3. Girl Confused? Scared? Or Not Interested?
    By Prize in forum General Questions
    Replies: 7
    Last Thread: 04-19-2012, 09:45 PM
  4. girl in love
    By lifim in forum General Questions
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 04-25-2011, 12:03 AM
  5. Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 12-20-2009, 03:36 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com