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  1. #1
    hellsaddist is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Pop the Qns and not sure what to do next

    Hi,
    I just pop the question to this girl and she said that she likes me and treat me as a special person, but right now she does not know what she wants and she wants to focus on her examination now which is like 4 months later. Not sure whether it is an excuse or what. She has been telling me she wants to prioritize her study since our 2nd date so I did not really push her for it that night. I told her then I will need to help her find our what she really wants together. Right now Im not sure whether to continue pursuing her and treat it like nothing happens or maybe drift away for awhile? What do you guys think?

  2. #2
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Pop the Qns and not sure what to do next

    You're doing too much pull without enough push. While she may like you, you put the accelerator on the relationship by showing your intentions, so she's timid to continue. I would take a step back if I was you. Hold off messaging her a little. Definitely, don't define the relationship any more in the near future.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  3. #3
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Pop the Qns and not sure what to do next

    Cd has the right idea of where to go with this. However, I am feeling like there are a few more bits of information missing. If you played your moves right, she would have said yes. You know the saying they always told you in college about sex, that a no means no and a maybe means no? That's what I'm thinking here.

    With that being said, can you list off some more details? Like how long have the two of you been contacting each other? How were the dates you two went on? How much was she initiating the conversations? How receptive was she to your messages, conversations, etc.? Information like this is necessary to correctly diagnose the problem here.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  4. #4
    hellsaddist is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Pop the Qns and not sure what to do next

    Alright. I will give as much information as possible. We went out together for about 2 months and total time we went out was like maybe 8 to 9 times. But we did not K close at all cause im bad at it. We always have things to say on our dates and I would put my hand around her shoulders, sometimes she allows me sometimes she would just walk faster to avoid that. But we do have Kino during the last few dates. I have went on a double date with her younger sister and the boyfriend. I have also dated her out on a her actual birthday. I called her almost every night because she don't usually reply my msges and she will chat with me, not showing any irritation or rushing to put down the phone. She recently invited me to go on a graduation trip with her in June as well, but I din really give her an answer.
    So during last night we were exchanging Christmas present and I can see she likes my present a lot. Then I popped the question, and she just tried very hard to explain to me why she wants to focus on the study and do well for her future. When we left, I offered my hand to let her hold (because of some insider joke) and she replied "wait till I graduate".
    I regretted not pushing for it that day but what done is done, I need a solution now. I did not contact her today. Appreciate if you could give me some advice.

  5. #5
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Pop the Qns and not sure what to do next

    I'm sorry to break the bad news to you, but she is not interested. The fact that she never responded to your text messages is a bad sign. Her walking faster to avoid Kino is also another bad sign. In addition, two months is well more than enough time to get to know her and build attraction. Because she did not give you a definitive yes, it virtually means a no.

    Her telling you to wait is another way of saying that she does not want you to be her boyfriend. If you wait around for her, not only is it going to look bad and pathetic on you, it will not end in a relationship with her. I also do not believe that someone needs four whole months to dedicate themselves just to studying, unless it was a senior thesis that they had not started yet, which I doubt. She's just coming up with an excuse to try and throw you off long enough to get you off of her back, and believe me, four months will certainly do the trick.

    I think it would be best for you to just move on. Don't be her little puppy and wait for her to get done in four months. Just stop all contact and set sail for new catches.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  6. #6
    hellsaddist is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Pop the Qns and not sure what to do next

    But she just attended my friend's birthday party with me in a hotel room and she knows no one there. Im not sure if its the trust issue as she comes from a broken family and both her parents are remarried. She is staying with her younger sister and grandmother. Is there any chance to change her mind as I do feel shes somewhat interested but not that interested to be my gf.


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