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  1. #1
    tokyoman is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need Advice - Borderline Friendzone - Need to reframe quickly somehow

    Need advice.

    Okay, so Ive been doing game for about year, Im just a normal American white guy living in Tokyo.

    Anyway, theres this one girl I met not even through game, off a language exchange; shes Japanese. At first I found out that she just broke up with her bf, and she actually told me that shes looking for a new bf and that she likes white guys around my age. I felt at that point I could have dragged her to some hotel and totally laid her, but I didn't react to it and later told her to "friend zone me!

    She did ask me my criteria for a gf, and I told her that a perfect gf for me is one who likes music and can cook, to which she said she is both. She has actually made it clear that she is both 2 times, once before I told her to friend-zone me, and once just recently.

    I was honestly just interested in using her to learn Japanese. Weve met about 4 times now (perhaps 8 hours total contact), and all of our conversations have been about relationships and/or sex, but kind of light. She thinks Im a bit of player, because I told her about many experiences with past girlfriends. She has apparently only ever had one boyfriend (I believe it though) cause shes about to turn 20 years old.

    We did have a fight over text where I called her controlling and she said Im not your girlfriend and I replied Im not your boyfriend.

    We seem to be in the frame of meeting for language exchange. She is willing to visit my apartment which will happen for the first time in about one week from now.

    I within the past 2 weeks I broke up with my main girlfriend, and I told her that. And now Im thinking this girl would actually make a good girlfriend.

    However, I feel that Im borderline friend-zone, and wondering the best way to go about changing that frame.

    Ive done nearly no Kino-with this girl aside from a funny handshake. Also, she did tell me a story before I told her to friend zone me about some friend she had who tried to touch her on her leg (kino her) and she thought it was creepy and basically bugged out. Based on that I assume that if I escalate in that manner she may bug out.

    If she comes over my place next week and I just straight of start seducing her, it may be too much to fast or too incongruent, then again if I dont do something like that then it may seal a friend-zone frame.

    Any advice on how to change a frame on this one?

    What I have been thinking might work would be these 4 options:

    To get her over my place, turn on some music and then get her dancing and then physically escalate on her, at which point she might reject.
    -Get her over to my place, sit her down on the couch and put her hand on my leg and then accuse her of being creepy.
    -Get her over my place and start an argument with her over something and get very mad and then just grab her and start kissing her.
    -Get her over my place sit her on the couch, turn on the TV, and then go into a rant why do you have to meet the requirements I have for a gf exactly?I dont think I can continue like this with you meeting all the requirements I have for a gf. It will make me start looking deeper and deeper into your eyes, fall in love with you, and then start seducing you. and then stare into her eyes and go for a make out.

    I could see her rejecting or feeling uncomfortable and leaving in any 4 of these scenarios. Therefore, I have come to these forums to see if anyone has any better advice to offer or a better way to frame things.

    This girl obviously wants a guy, and I'm obviously in a position where I can get her as a girlfriend, but we're borderline friend-zone and and we're not in a frame of where I can just suddely seduce. Basically, I feel that I have to play my cards right or it will mess up what could have been a good thing. The question is what is there right way to play my cards here?

  2. #2
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    SerialSeducer is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need Advice - Borderline Friendzone - Need to reframe quickly somehow

    First things first let me preface this by saying.... I have no idea what idiosyncrasies if Japanese culture are. For all I know people in Japan have totally different expectations of how relationships work and should or gores or unfold. In fact I'm fairly certain that they do. They are a fairly repressed sexual culture and the evidence if that is everywhere.... Even down to the manifestation if sexual fantasy in cartoons and manga.

    However human nature is human nature. If you want to sleep with this girl I would try and make it seem like it's her idea. I would be as non threatening as possible. I suspect if you come on strong after a period of time of seemingly being indifferent you will only scare her. If she weren't under 21 I'd say sake is your friend but I'm not about to advise anyone to take advantage of a young lady. Instead just be funny and playful. Let her make the joke that you are gonna turn in escalation. Find an opportunity to make seem like it's her idea to sleep with you. Say something like "are you trying to get in my pants!?"

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