Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 8 of 8
Like Tree4Likes
  • 1 Post By artandale
  • 1 Post By artandale
  • 2 Post By CapPickup

Thread: Last oportunity with "her". Help interpreting/escalating. Can't fuck up.

  1. #1
    axdmena is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 55, Level: 1
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 45
    Overall activity: 25.0%
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    4
    Points
    55
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Exclamation Last oportunity with "her". Help interpreting/escalating. Can't fuck up.

    Hey guys.

    I'll try to be as concise as possible. It's difficult, so please bear with me.

    I don't have much experience on seduction, nor a nearly good enough theoretical knowledge. I tried last year to start learning & applying some materials, but the university got in the way.

    I've been mainly focused on uni and self-improvement (some things needed/need solving and have been my priorities for a time). Two years ago there was a girl I think I could have had possibilities with; she gave me some signs, and was usually receptive. I rationalized not to pursue it, as I was dealing with some troubles at the time; after that, I regretted it. I had other opportunities after it, though; I still didn't pursue it as, in the moment of truth, I still rationalized it. I don't usually see her anymore as we don't have any more courses together.

    Since, I've kind of used her as an ideal; you know how it works. Not excessively, though. Point in place, this is my last year of uni, and I would regret it very much if I didn't at least try. Circumstances now are kind of the best and the worst at the same time, and I need help planning what and how to do it.

    I think a last window might have opened very recently. I have encountered her twice lately and that has allowed me to contact her without coming out of nowhere. The first time, I had to leave quickly, and it didn't occur to me to set a future date then. I tried to do it later on Facebook: “Hey, I'm really sorry I had to go and we couldn't catch up, coffee on the uni?”; she answered: “I'm not in the city now”, and didn't offer any alternative, so I just said “shame” in response. I know she truly wasn't here but... So that was that.

    Today I encountered her again, in a group on the cafeteria. I was decided to fix a date so we could meet another day. I started talking with them (I also knew another of the girls on the table) and finally sat up with them for like around 15-20min; we all had to leave after for class. I didn't have (or couldn't create) a way to naturally bring up a date between the two then. So, yeah, I was farked.

    I should say she is very elusive: she never initiates contact (doesn't say hi, or looks directly at you, if you don't first; she also didn't follow up on facebook any further than what I described earlier and, when in a group, will alternate between sheer enthusiasm and ignoring you and talking with girlfriends). This gets to the point of absurd; example: there was a presentation/seminar a week ago and I was asking a question; everyone was looking at me but her; it's almost as if she made a conscious effort not to engage (why? is she trying to dodge me or is it the usual trying to look uninterested?). Once engaged, she usually responds very well, though she doesn't “play” very much. I should note she is probably around a HB8 (don't know if you still use this), point being that I would usually expect more responsiveness/less shyness coming from a girl with her social capital and beauty. That makes me think she might been acknowledging my interest, and eluding it. I am usually not as clueless about this as I am now, but I'm truly confused by her signals and am worried that I could be interpreting a positive response where there are only objectively bad reactions out of wishful thinking.

    Universe must be with me, because I encountered her, alone, on the subway. Oh, yes. 20-30min alone. Just talking. We got to my stop while she was telling me about her plans, so I interrupted her: “Hey, I'm really sorry - hand on her knee - but this is my stop... what do you do on Thursday?”, “I've got to study and...”, “Well, however it is, I'm gonna be on uni on Thursday afternoon...”, “...also classes.”, “...do you want to meet for one of those coffees...”, “talk on facebook?”, “ok, bye!”. Ok, how the fark do I transform this into success? How do I escalate from here? Is “facebook” an acronym for “it's easier to say no through a keyboard”?

    The whole situation is problematic by itself. But, what's worse, I've got a shitload of work to do - and fast. I'm really really really busy, as exams start in two weeks and also have a project to finish. And I expect her to be too. But I must figure out if this is/would be/could be possible. Maybe strategize to freeze it somehow so I'm able to recover it after exams? I truly don't know what the optimal course of action would be.

    Ideas?

    Thanks guys

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,719, Level: 43
    Level completed: 85%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 53.0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    820
    Points
    4,719
    Level
    43
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    Rep Power
    238

    Default Re: Last oportunity with "her". Help interpreting/escalating. Can't fuck up

    your time window might be short but your sight is even shorter. get out of your head. you're over thinking everything. you're making things much more complicated for yourself than you realize in my personal opinion. you've been in-direct enough from the sound of your story. time to shift gears to being direct. it doesn't matter if this is via text or FB but you should meet up with her--start a conversation with her--and mid way through a conversation where you both are within arms distance to each other to that point where you realize you want to touch / kiss her pause.. make your pause well known that you're staring into her eyes--look at her for 5 seconds with a slow grin / smile / smirk and be calm. then shift your gaze to her lips and then slowly bite your lip then slowly shift your gaze to her eyes. smile again--by now it should be about 10 to 15 seconds and at the speed of a painful push-up move in for a kiss. the speed of your face closing in on hers will be enough for her to react with green lights or red lights. if she's too awkward and freaks out or makes a joke about you going in for the kiss tell her "you looked like you needed a kiss" if you move in for this kiss and she rejects--play it cool like this does not bruise your ego. be calm. then go back to what you were just talking about.

    you seem too focused on the right moment--there is none, you have to create it yourself. you should kiss her regardless of it being in public or it being isolated. this is just for the kiss--because to me it doesn't even sound like you're acknowledging her attraction and she doesn't even know that you are attracted to her. your Kino you describe isn't enough to signify mutual attraction. you've not gone for any green lights other than friendly green lights with a hand to the knee. it doesn't even sound like you've flirted with her. its up to you to judge that if you think you need it. personally i think you are an AFC over thinking things. get out of your head. use this kiss method to generate Tension--tension is good to make her question just long enough to put her guard down. for those brief moments she subdued into thinking something is wrong but your smile means something is right. don't make a super happy big grin or smile, make it more of a i know your secret you're hiding smile...

    a kiss shows your directness in attraction. it does not define that you're looking for sex or a relationship. that is still something you need to figure out if you want it--which from reading what you posted you haven't established.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    axdmena is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 55, Level: 1
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 45
    Overall activity: 25.0%
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    4
    Points
    55
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Last oportunity with "her". Help interpreting/escalating. Can't fark up

    Thanks artandale. I basically agree with you in almost everything you said. I still don't know what I'll tell her through FB, though.

    But, and this is what I'd like to ask you, if you had to read just ONE book on seduction for this situation, something that could give me just *enough* not to fark up / give a fark here (a 80/20 principle kind of deal) what would that be?

  4. #4
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,719, Level: 43
    Level completed: 85%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 53.0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    820
    Points
    4,719
    Level
    43
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    Rep Power
    238

    Default Re: Last oportunity with "her". Help interpreting/escalating. Can't fuck up

    Its not about what to read... Only you can change your life.

    Here's something i said to a girl recently via text... "I dont know what it is but it started raining and i thought of you. Lets meet up this week." She responded a day later saying she was sorry and that she felt bad for neglecting me.

    So with that said i think you need to put a little honesty at work here and say something like "you know we only have xxxx days left and it just hit me, i want to hang out with you. Meet me on xxxx at xxxx..."
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  5. #5
    axdmena is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 55, Level: 1
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 45
    Overall activity: 25.0%
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    4
    Points
    55
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Last oportunity with "her". Help interpreting/escalating. Can't fark up

    Ok, that is FUCKING IT. Great idea for a message. I'll still have to follow through, though

    Anyhow, thanks for that!

  6. #6
    CapPickup is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 971, Level: 16
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 29
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    129
    Points
    971
    Level
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    46

    Default Re: Last oportunity with "her". Help interpreting/escalating. Can't fark up

    Okay bro you have to stop thinking about farking it up because if you do that you'll eventually fark it up.

    This is how i think attraction works. You have to move freely, say what you want freely (but ofcourse in a clever way), I mean if you think of something funny : say it, don't matter if she thinks it's funny or not. The point is : stop looking for validation.

    Now about asking her out you can be direct if you want, but you must, you must you must you must build attraction first or she's just gonna make some lame excuse especially on facebook.

    After you've build attraction you can message her on facebook or something.

    "Okay we approximately have 3 days before the most excruciating days of our lives. If I die in battle during this finals week I would very much regret not getting to know you whilst drinking coffee. Meet me at blabla at exactly blabla"

    or

    "Hey nerdball, Bryant park, Friday , 5:04 pm near the porch . No questions. Clue: It's gonna be fun! Disclaimer: May or may not include pigeons"

    Just have fun with it man. And Remember Eyes are the most important thing. Look and be confident about it. Don't blink too much but also don't look like a fish.

    Sorry if I can't go much to the details. I have to go to work.

    Goodluck. And may the force be with your game.

  7. #7
    axdmena is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 55, Level: 1
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 45
    Overall activity: 25.0%
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    4
    Points
    55
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Last oportunity with "her". Help interpreting/escalating. Can't fark up

    Hey guys. First of all, CapPickup, that comment of yours was gold, I wanted to thank you for it, really. Also, I wanted to post to give you both some heads up.

    I texted her through facebook this morning:
    - hey
    - I'll be busier than I thought in the afternoon
    - but we have approximately 3 days before the most excruciating days of our lives
    - If I die in battle during this finals week I would very much regret not getting to hear the end of that story <-- this is a reference to a previous unfinished conversation
    - I'll be at blabla around 20-21, meet me there <-- I knew she would be busy until then
    - Bring those [reference to previous conversation], otherwise I might think you're a little bit crazy

    Answer, at 19.40h:
    - Hey, I'm also very busy with exams
    -
    - I had a crappy day and I wasn't able to study at all
    - I'm really sorry
    - I will finish that story... but it'll have to be on another day

    At around 21.30, I texted her:
    - There are no valid excuses on the last day of freedom
    - I'm at blabla and i'll be here until around 22 with some friends
    - it's an incredible afternoon, lots of people out, it's like everyone got out for a last time before exams <-- trying to oversell
    - if you rush, i'll see you at 22,30 at blabla
    - We do have to eat anyways and i want to start *really* studying tomorrow <-- trying to make her know it was a one time deal without being reactive: the window was open now but it wouldn't be in the future due to external reasons
    - Don't be late

    To that, I have received no answer yet. Wasn't so much of a tragedy, but it was somewhat a surprise and i definitively believe there's nothing else to do. Would you try and move the interaction forward in any way?

    I guess i tried, at least. Any further tips?

  8. #8
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,719, Level: 43
    Level completed: 85%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 53.0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    820
    Points
    4,719
    Level
    43
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    Rep Power
    238

    Default Re: Last oportunity with "her". Help interpreting/escalating. Can't fuck up

    your fb messaging style seems messy.. personally i'd keep it simpler so she doesn't get confused as well as we dont get confused in helping you. if you want to be a mysterious person you say less. i'm not saying keep your message to a 5 word minimum but you said about 6 or 7 sentences before she replied. sometimes less is more--in the text world you don't have to be exactly formal through messages.

    looking at your last few exchanges of texts i think you did something wrong here... it doesn't come off as playful when you say "There are no valid excuses on the last day of freedom... I'm at blabla and i'll be here until around 22 with some friends... it's an incredible afternoon, lots of people out, it's like everyone got out for a last time before exams" it sounds like you're punishing her for something even she has out of control while saying you're living the dream under the same conditions. also i think you should have acknowledged her "crappy day" message.

    i would have responded after she had texted me with ":/ sorry about your day being crappy. if you need cheering up i can bring a six pack. i might be a little late at the XXXXX, would love to see you there " ... to break it down why i said that is i've acknowledged her state of mind--made a light hearted gesture which shows i care and don't push anything on anyone if i can see the signs. i also remind her that we should meet up--if she's feeling up for it. you gotta think about inspiring her to come. don't continue to push how much better your life is. its good to some degree to do that but you gotta learn to pull before you pushed too far.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.


Similar Threads

  1. Long distance fuck buddy: She's worried about feeling "used"
    By Totallydude in forum Members Lounge
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 05-06-2013, 02:39 AM
  2. Get Me The Fuck Out of "Let's Just Be Friends"!!!
    By mattyicesototesgrand in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 01-08-2013, 09:29 PM
  3. Fuck you all "respected contributors"
    By Gmin23 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 18
    Last Thread: 12-07-2012, 11:46 PM
  4. need help interpreting "friends" responses
    By A.C.H. in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 09-01-2012, 08:14 AM
  5. I'm a jalous fuck:/ any help to getting "unjalous"
    By Ziegler-DK in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 08-01-2011, 02:28 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com