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Thread: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

  1. #11
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    One thing Ive noticed with a lot of guys is they freak out when a girl is busy. It is the 21st century - EVERYONE is busy. You must be busy also. If not with work then dating other girls or having fun times with your mates and experiencing life. Try not to fall into the habit of questioning her schedule, commenting on how busy she is or discussing her projects because it makes it look like you are hanging around bored all day. You want her to reveal her feminine side, not her masculine workaholic side and vice versa. It should be HER that role plays her motherly/caring/empathetic fantasies on you.

    If you try hit her up for another date you could qualify your own schedule first and how busy it also is 'Man this week is nuts, 12 assignments, 24 exams, 245 classes in 2 days, yoga practice, need to fix my motorbike, need to buy new guitar strings for 7 different guitars...girls asking me out for dinner...I'll be needing a mojito by the end of the week!' (I'm being funny, not saying you should actually write that) or ask her out in a group dynamic like she did 'Hey were going to this place, its going to be off the hook, you're coming'. That way, even if she can't make it, she will know you're out ANYWAY and possibly around other girls. You can also simply ask her when she is free. Be bold and uncompromising in asking for it. Girls who are interested will always make a tentitive date at the least. If she is totally like 'I dont know, I'm not sure, I have so much on blah blah blah', she is probably not someone you want as a girlfriend anyway right? She is not an astronaut.

    Most of the time it is men that have to initiate. Most of the girls I know who initiate a lot are either very talkative and chatty by nature or are desperate to get my attention because they know I have lost interest. I like initiating. Sometimes it doesn't have to go anywhere, its just friendly messages to make each others day better, keep re-inforcing attraction. As soon as there is any opportunity towards flirtation or meeting up I pounce on it. I am also quite often busy and will even forget about girls on my phone lists. Some girls things happen within hours, other times within weeks. It doesn't matter as long as the end result is the same. Don't worry so much about what she is doing and just concentrate on yourself having a blast. Always have other women in the pipeline to date to keep you in balance. Women seem to have a 6th sense for that and amazing things can happen from jealously or knowing a guy has lots of girls after him.

    I never really talk with a girl about being 'exclusive' and certainly wouldn't even think about any of that until you have slept with her. Girls are usually the ones that raise that stuff anyway so don't think about it until neccessary. You can bet she probably has other guys in her life too but don't worry about it. Stay confident about your ability and keep demonstrating it.

    Keep building attraction and as T-Mal said start again with a fresh approach. Lock her down for a date this weekend or next week and make sure you Kino escalate towards full kiss/fark close. Ask her out in a way that has time constraints 'Catch up for a quick coffee, I have something else on later but I can see you for a little while'. Kiss close. If she keeps putting her schedule in the way and won't give up any time at all, completely freeze her out, never re-initiate until she does and move onto other girls who are better at managing their schedule.

  2. #12
    GoBucks90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    So this was our text conversation throughout the day yesterday:

    Me (8:49 am): Hey I hope your week was at least "above average." Btw I think my phone kinda misses your phone..we should let them chat for a bit.

    Her (10:13): Yeah I've been busy with school work and have been grinding

    Me (10:54): Okay so a feisty raccoon didn't steal your phone? Happens to me on occasions.

    Her (5:53 pm): Not that I'm aware of? I don't hang out with too many raccoons.

    Me (7:02): Oh right you're into squirrels. Just had the funniest chat with my dad, hope your father's day is going wellll

    Her (7:12): Yeah its been good lol

    Me (7:50): My neighbors dog just licked me for nearly a minute. Awwww

    Her (7:55): Dogs are so cute ha

    At this point, I checked her Facebook and was pretty surprised to see her status about how she lost her father a couple years ago. I try to build comfort and rapport without being too needy or too invested.

    Me (10:32): This is probably super repetitive for ya but sorry about your dad. I can't imagine that...

    Her (10:33): Oh yeah its cool. It's been a while, but yeahhhh. The struggle!

    Me: Not trying to be Debbie downer status haha. I know you're stayin strong

    Her: Preach!

    From here, I was thinking of opening up to her about my own father and build comfort that way. I know going into deeper topics is better to do in person especially since texting can be easily misinterpreted and it's hard to express emotions through it. But it's been hard scheduling a meet up with her in past few weeks. Should I just ignore this topic completely and try to build attraction + schedule a meet up or should I at least drop a few lines relating to her personal issue?

  3. #13
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    Ah man I would ignore the father and personal issues for the time being. Way too needy, you are not her therapist. You need to get her far more intelectually and emotionally stimulated.

    Get her opening up about things other than work or family. You need to take her imagination away somewhere else so she starts revealing her feminine and adventurous 'sexy' playful side. It is there but a little hidden at the moment. Start asking questions about how she feels about things or topics she is interested in. Ask her things that almost all women will like to talk about such as fashion and lead that towards clothes that make her feel sexy or her girlfriends lives or what she finds attractive in a man. Get her opening up about her life and passions. At the moment you're not giving her much of a reason to elaborate and you're moving from one reactionary statement quickly to the next - raccoons to squirrels to dogs. It's all fun to start a conversation with but you want to get her talking about more serious topics that will help you stand out and make her gain attraction to you. She is still being very distant and I get the impression you are slightly off guard and lacking confidence because you are afraid of hurting her feelings or trying to be considerate about her study schedule. Ignore all of that and have the mentality that it doesn't matter if you loose her. All or nothing.

    Ask her far more provocative questions. Being busy with study is simply not an excuse not to date people so either she is not feeling enough attraction to you or there is someone else in her life chasing her.

  4. #14
    GoBucks90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    Yeah talking about fashion would be a great idea since she's a fashion design major. Only problem is...I know absolutely nothing about fashion styles especially relating women. Can anyone give me some sample texts to work off of? The only one I can think of is this:

    Me: So me and my red-head friend Amanda were thinking...what looks better: girls with denim jean shorts or plaid shorts?

  5. #15
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    Quote Originally Posted by GoBucks90 View Post
    Yeah talking about fashion would be a great idea since she's a fashion design major. Only problem is...I know absolutely nothing about fashion styles especially relating women. Can anyone give me some sample texts to work off of? The only one I can think of is this:

    Me: So me and my red-head friend Amanda were thinking...what looks better: girls with denim jean shorts or plaid shorts?
    Ask her to send you some of her work. Ask her intellectual questions about design 'What is more important? Function or form?', 'What kind of narrative can fashion design express about people and their environment?' then expand from there. Just because she is studying fashion design does not mean she is actually good at it. Test her.


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