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Thread: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

  1. #1
    GoBucks90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    Hey guys, so recently I've been seeing this cute girl that I met on OkCupid about a month ago. Just a little bit of background about this girl: She is only 20 years old, hasn't had much experience dating/relationships, she's a fashion design major so she's super busy all the time. Also she rarely initiates a text conversation but always responds back so her level of investment isn't too high.

    So on the first date it was very hard to read her attraction towards me especially since she dominated the majority of the conversation and overall didn't seem very receptive (didn't ask too many questions, wasn't very compliant with doing this or going there, etc.) This being said, she did just come out of a 3 hour lecture class and maybe she wasn't in the best mood.

    After the 1st date, we've been texting back and forth (almost texting every day except some days when I'm really busy) and one day she invites me to go to this comedy club at her hometown which is 45 minutes away. When I first arrive, she's there with her friend and their parents and acts happy to see me. I did a bit of Kino by touching her back and whispering in her ear but didn't get to talk much throughout the show. At the end, I walked her to her car and kissed her on the cheek (Intended to be on the lips but messed up.)

    What's funny is that when I got home, I checked her Instagram and she posted a selfie saying how she went on a date with me and got a kiss on the cheek. My question for you guys is:

    1) How should I proceed from here if I'm looking for a relationship?
    2) Is this girl still interested in me?
    3) When is it right to ask if we are exclusive?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    stop overthinking things. she's still into you if she went home and thought about you and blasted into the internet.

    if you haven't decided on what you wanted with her then just keep going with the flow. if you want to be exclusive then ask yourself if its the right time. sometimes the best way to figure out what you want is to figure out how she works. ask her things that challenge how she sees about committing to things long term / short term. things like... what do you see yourself doing in a few years? do you have any cats or dogs--how long have you had them? i find that most women who have people or pets that they have to maintain relationships with tend to look for committed relationships--unless they're single parents with a kid that's under 13 years old. those who have too much busy time usually don't look for committed relationships until they know that they've been doing it for way too long.

    ultimately you need to find out who you want to be and who you want to be with. the only ways to do that is to look at what makes you happy, angry, sad and excited. i would wait to really ask her to commit to you until you've figured this out as well as understood what kind of person she is. to me it sounds like you two have barely gone on like 3 dates. i'm not saying you need to know more but you don't sound confident about who she is yet. if you were--you'd have a good idea of where you wanna take things with her. the only way to get to know her is to spend time with her doing a wide range of things that bring out almost every side of her personality and emotions.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

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    GoBucks90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    Dude thanks for the advice artndale. That's actually a great idea for gauging someone's commitment to something. Also, it builds an emotional connection and a great amount of rapport too.

    So this week, she told me that she's really busy with projects and additional work building up and barely texted me at all. Should I keep on sending fun text messages to keep the attraction there when she's busy or should I just leave her alone?

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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    just remember though--its not a perfect system. you still have to ask those questions but it gives you a bit of a foundation to work with to lead into more commitment based questions.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    give her a few days or something... maybe hit her up on sunday.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    I have always kept the line of communication current.
    Even if it's just a semi-playful / friendly text to keep YOU in HER mind.

    Don't smother her of course, but definitely drop a text each day (or a few of them if she's responsive & in the groove) just to check in.

    My "Magic Texts" thread has PLENTY of usable examples.

    A little quick message here & there is NOT going to bother her, or inconvenience her. So don't be afraid to take the initiative & keep her interest.



    The thing is, use your head! Use common sense & pay attention to how receptive she is.
    Adjust your frequency accordingly.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  7. #7
    GoBucks90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    So I hit her up today via text and she told me that she has a project due Monday and she'll be kinda busy this coming week as well. I really like this girl and don't want her to interest in me. T-Mal, I've been playful and using your Magic texts thread and it works like magic but recently she hasn't been very receptive. Should I just tell her to text me when she has time? Or how should I text her to meet up for a short period of time without sounding needy and desperate?

  8. #8
    GoBucks90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    I'm not exactly sure if it's a lost cause or not but about a week ago, she seems to be more distant than usual and would text back shorter responses and sometimes not respond back at all. The last text conversation I had with her was this:

    Me: Were you on the local news this morning? Nice mug-shot dork.
    Her: Whoops. I normally don't get caught.
    Me: Babby I told you to keep quiet...there will be consequences if you rat me out.
    Her: Babby? (It's from a funny video she showed me so I don't know why she seemed surprised that I remembered it.)
    5 hours later..
    Me: Such a busy bee today You good at doing laundry btw?
    No response.

    I've talked to some of my friends and they basically told me to wait and see if she texts me back. So far it's been a week and still no response. She has been viewing my snaps on Snapchat more often though. If nothing else, I want to at least remain friends with her since she's has an interesting personality.

    So gentlemen, any advice on how to handle this situation would be greatly appreciated.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    Each day is a new day... start fresh with your texts. Don't try to keep picking up where you left off.

    You don't do that face to face with people... You start with new topics. Texting is the same way.

    You just need to re-open her from scratch & start a new vibe.
    It's not a big deal at all.

    I personally wouldn't let an entire week pass by without communication if I were interested in a girl. It can give her the impression that you lost interest & have moved on.

    AND... that gives all the other guys a lot of time to catch her attention with you being "absent".

    The thing about MY texting style is this: It stands out, it gets attention & creates FUN. Girls DO respond... but it fits my own personality too.

    If you're not as upbeat & know how to lead the interactions ALL the time, it's gonna get awkward & seem odd to her.

    I would text her back & & say something like Heya Spunky Brewster, hope your week was at least "above average". By the way, I think my phone kinda misses your phone... we should let them chat a bit.

    Just SOMETHING to check in again & get her in the groove of communicating.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Need help planning 3rd date and eventually asking her to be exclusive!!

    Thanks, T-Mal. I'll give that try man. I just feel like she has lost interest after my second date with her. I just don't want to seem too desperate or needy since I've been doing basically 95% of the initiating from the very beginning. Also from looking at social media, I'm pretty sure she's not talking to any other guys right now especially since plus she disabled her OkCupid account.


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