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Thread: Labels

  1. #1
    Mguy36 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Labels

    Hey all quick question.

    Got out of a serious relationship and into a friends with benefits 2 weeks after with a new girl. Perfect setup for me at the time, hung out 2 times a week or so, had great times going out etc.. but after about 3 months I started to get feelings. I told her we should exclusively hang out and not see other people and see where this goes which she agreed to...fast forward about 2 months..

    Last few weeks things started getting more serious. Hang out at least 4 times a week, sleepovers.. talk pretty much every day. I woke up one morning with her and said "we should date" and she replied "I like where things are right now". I brushed it off and pretending like I was talking in my sleep somewhat, took her out again that night and she brought it up. So in the end she told me she likes me ALOT, but likes where its at and doesn't want to put a label on it. I responded by saying I understand but am I wasting my time with you?.. I don't want to be exclusive anymore if I am wasting time, and she said I am definitely not wasting my time. I think maybe in the past she has gotten burned when she started dating someone.

    What should I do? Should I just keep showing her a good time and see what happens or should I just end it due to her label issue. Thanks all in advance for your responses!

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Labels

    to me it seems like you both jumped into a serious relationship pretty fast and now you're scared. could be good or could be bad. it really depends on your inner game. as much as you can't force her--she can't force you. if you need space--tell her but you have to be honest and not overly insensitive to her position--especially if you still want it to go on. i think you have to make up your mind about what you want rather than if she fits in it. if she doesn't fit--you'll know and she'll know. don't force anything--let things naturally go without little effort. when there is too much Tension and attachment and you feel like you're getting more and more uptight about everything its a sign that you will need more space--but a lot of other things factor too... with that said i don't know what your situation is really like because if i gathered all of the above correctly you're barely 1 month into the relationship.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    Mguy36 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Labels

    Thanks for the response artandale. In reality we have been hanging out for about 5 months or so, you would consider that fast? She seems to be scared of the offical boyfriend/girlfriend label, and wants to keep things exclusive but like I said she said she really likes me and assured me I am not wasting my time.

  4. #4
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Labels

    well i guess i read the time frame wrong... it really doesn't read well--pretty confusing to me.

    i think you need to still decide what you want because i haven't heard why you're holding back. from what you've said it makes sense why she's holding off to committing so fast. share your concerns with her. from what i've read there isn't really anything to concern other than you guys have spent too much time together without calling each other bf & gf... which isn't really an issue if she's pretty much committed to you and that's what you're looking for. she's put herself out there in what she's looking for commitment wise even though there are no labels--she's there. to her that's enough. the question you have to ask yourself is---what is enough for you?

    i think it's important if you feel like you're vulnerable you should tell her that. she might commit to you more if that's what you're looking for.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  5. #5
    Mguy36 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Labels

    I am not holding back I want to have the label she seems to be the one scared of the label. Do you think the label even matters at this point? That is why I am thinking of not bringing it up again for a while and just keep having fun with her.

  6. #6
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Labels

    Shes gotta decide for herself. If you like her enough and youre ready just wait it out on her terms unless you've got a timer and need something to validate yourself. Theres no perfect answer but do what feels right for yourself not someone else. If you're comfortable waiting then wait. If you'd rather walk away then walk away. Decide how you feel
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.


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