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  1. #1
    cutiepie0807 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Do nothing till she contacts me?

    I am currently going on dates with just one girl at the moment. I've gone on a lot of first dates with in the last month or so, but this one girl is the only one I've gone past first date with. I understand the importance of dating multiple girls at the same time, but me talking to only one girl at the moment is not entirely by choice. This is probably where the problem begins, but please allow me to talk about it.

    Since our first date, we've been maintaining a line of communication through texts almost daily even though a lot of ppl have told me how important it is to follow the 2- or 3-day rule to "make myself not readily available" and "increase her interest level" and stuff. She and I have been sending playful and flirtatious texts to each other quite a bit. There were days she initiated, but I am usually the one who initiates. Anyway, we went on our second date recently. I had a good time, she said she had a great time. She asked me at one point, "How did you come up with this date idea?" Physically, hand holding and kissing are the furthest extent to which we have gone. Thought things were heading in the right direction, but I kinda feel that her reactions to my texts are a bit different now. I probably shouldn't think too much, but I feel like her responses are now slightly less playful. She still reciprocates, but I feel like I am doing more of the pursuing that she does. I am left to wonder if her interest level has dropped for whatever reason. Got me thinking that I perhaps shoulda texted two or three days after date #2 to get her wondering whether I really want to see her or not. But then, I am also thinking that she might have seen that as me playing games. I am so confused.

    Anyway, I called her yesterday evening with a date plan in my mind. I wanted to try a different approach. I wanted to call because I thought I would be able to set the date up quicker and more efficiently. She didn't pick up but sent me a text a few mins later: "Hey, I am out watching the game with friends." I responded, "OK." I called again several hours later because I wanted to accomplish the goal. "Still out" was her response. I haven't done anything since then, but she has not reached out to me yet. No text, no call since her last message.

    Should I just do nothing and let her come to me? I think the answer is yes because I have already called her twice. I do wanna see her again and get to know her better, but I obviously don't wanna seem desperate and too eager. Gosh, I wish dating were simpler...

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Do nothing till she contacts me?

    yeah, make it seem like you're finding things to do too. for some reason today it seems like its ok for people to not commit to things right away. it's kind of strange etiquette for me to see. it's not very polite in my opinion. i do think waiting to get a hold of her would be good just so you can concentrate on your own stuff. every few days just change things up via text / phone call. if she avoids like 2 more phone calls then i'm sure she doesn't like talking on the phone. try to meet up to meet up in person--less dating the scenario is the more likely she'll commit because it doesn't have a label to define things--you're simply hanging out which leads you to change things up as you please. hopefully this helps. for anything specific we'd probably need as much detail as possible.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    GoBucks90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Do nothing till she contacts me?

    Ah I was in this exact same situation a couple weeks ago. It seems that most girls these days are not into picking up their phones when talking to a guy that they've only seen a few times. I would probably wait about 2 or 3 days with no contact at all and see if she texts or call you back at all. You don't want to wait too long since she might completely lose interest in you though. If she doesn't text or call you back, I would initiate with a fun, flirty text preferably relating to something you guys did on your last date together. From there I would try to get her to reveal her schedule to you without asking for it directly. Some girls are truly very busy throughout the week so it may be wise to set up a casual meetup with a time constraint. Maybe try something like, "Hey xxxx! I'll be on campus Thursday morning visiting a friend...let's get our coffee game on before I go into work."

  4. #4
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Do nothing till she contacts me?

    Hi OP,
    Unfortunately you already seem desperate! And I am foreseeing disappointment for you, unless you change your attitude and approach.

    The first thing I advise you to change is to wanting girls badly. Girls are not that great and not having them sometimes is a lot better than being around them! There are two reasons that you desperately want that girl: 1- You fantasize about her 2- You probably do not have an interesting busy life with many friends! If you really had a busy life and you could go out and have fun with your friends you would not even remember that girl!

    One other thing you have to learn is that you must never give value to someone who does not give you value. I have a feeling that by chasing her up and by showing too much interest you have put her on the pedestal. She knows that you are afraid of losing her and so your value has dropped. Here is what I recommend you to do. It's up to you though!

    1- She is not giving you value so you have to refrain from giving her value even if you never talk to her again. So do not contact her until she contacts you and even then do not get back to her for a day or so. If she never gets back to you, move on!

    2- You said you have gone on many dates in a months! How do you get those many dates?! If pulling dates is that easy for you why are you sitting at your computer complaining about a chick?! Pull another date and add more chicks to your dating pool.

    3- While you game girls try to make friends and plan cool things to do. Even if you do not have many mates do some cool things on your own! Not having a life will ruin your game.

    4- You must work on your inner game because I feel that your self confidence is quite low! There are two good books that I can recommend. One is an old one written by Carlos Xuma which is called "Traits of Alpha Male". The other one is a book that explains how you can find a girlfriend easily however it also works on your inner game and helps you with improving your self confidence etc. You can find it on Amazon


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