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  1. #1
    Chase is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default GirlFriend is pregnant and I'm lost...Help!!!

    OK not exactly something you expect on the PUA forum, I know, I apologize for the how long this is but.....I know I can trust my PUA brothers and your helpful advice.

    So my girlfriend she's 26 and I'm 31 we have been dating for a few months.
    We were together for a month or so and we ended up breaking up she said I was to nice to her which I was at times but I was also trying to just be a caring and nice guy, So I lost my cocky funny personality at times, my ability just not care what she was doing and I stopped enjoying doing things for myself.

    Well in that time we were together she got pregnant...Yes it's mine.
    She went from being her sweet and nice self when we first got back together after we agreed to keep the baby and make it work between us again (we were only broke up for a couple weeks)

    But now the hormones have kicked in and now she is saying the same things she was before we broke up the first time

    Last night she told me I know annoy her and she hates how nice and sweet I am and she want's me to not be so caring and stop being there for her all the time.....Not easy to do when your going to have a baby with a her.

    Well everything I have read Pregnancy wise tells me to be patient wait out the storm just be caring and be there for her.

    I tried tell her that last night and she told me to stop being like that and stop being so nice and that it annoys her how nice I am to her and how caring I am to her.

    She has dated a lot of asshole guys in the past and most of them have cheated on her so I know there is a lot insecurities within her.

    So this is were I really need your ADVICE!!!

    I am not typically The nice guy push over type but for whatever reason this girl makes me feel like a AFC and it drives me crazy cause I know how I should act and react but instead I'm this insecure and sensitive guy around her.
    I feel like I can't even be myself anymore,. I lose my confidence in myself and who I am around her. I hate that feeling, I hate not being the man and being able to control my emotions and the situation.

    So here is where I am right now.
    This morning after our huge fight last night she grabbed me and wouldn't let go than kissed me this morning before I left for work.
    I told her I was going to stay at my place today.
    Honestly though I don't know if I even want to see her for awhile after all the shit she is saying to me last night. I am really confused on who I should be and act around her anymore.

    Please Guys I need your advice and help through these tough times.
    Thank you!!!

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GirlFriend is pregnant and I'm lost...Help!!!

    Well not only are you dealing with emotional hormones fluctuating like crazy on that spectrum of drama but she's also dealing with being completely vulnerable. She's acting defensively lushing your comforting side away because she feels it's much safer to do so. In her eyes she probably isn't used to someone pampering her and she distrusts it.

    My suggestion is to quallify yourself and her into the situation of having a baby. Some of the lines have to be drawn and sometimes you have to talk about them. You need to be able to define the parameters so the two of you can function as parents later. So this is why i think qualifying will help you and frame control of your intention will make it clear about how serious you are in being a parent with her.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GirlFriend is pregnant and I'm lost...Help!!!

    You taking responsibility for this child and accepting your role as a father is YOU BEING THE MAN .... Be confident in the fact that you want to take care of her and this child ....that is what a real man does and how a real man acts. Unfortunately you will have to weather the emotional roller coaster of a pregnant female ( I have been there three times ) but let it all Roll Off your back, ..... Hormones are wicked and they cause woman to get crazy, it's nothing personal and she doesn’t really mean anything she says to you .... So let it all go.... BEST OF LUCK, this is a game changer for sure, but a good game changer ... Trust me

  4. #4
    Chase is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GirlFriend is pregnant and I'm lost...Help!!!

    Thank you gentlemen.

    This has honestly been the most stressful and enduring 4 weeks of my life.
    I am trying to take it all in and enjoy as much of it as possible but with her being the way she has been and me trying to be there for her but also trying to get to know her on a deeper level has been one the hardest things I have had to try get through.
    Any and all advice is appreciated!

  5. #5
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GirlFriend is pregnant and I'm lost...Help!!!

    Relationships are tough. Add children to that equation and it gets even tougher. Remember that even though you knocked her up it doesn't mean that you have to stay with her and put up with her bull. You can be supportive from a distance if it comes to that.

    It sounds to me that you've given her too much power in the relationship and you need to start learning game fast if you truly want it to work. It's good to be a caring man. There's nothing wrong with that! Just don't let her know EXACTLY how much you care. Have your own life. Don't hover around her telling her how much you love her all the time. Push, pull, push, pull. Rub her feet and when your done tell her to get off her ass and make you a sandwich! Change the dynamics of your relationship now or your going to be in for a huge surprise when you child is born!
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  6. #6
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GirlFriend is pregnant and I'm lost...Help!!!

    Liukang that is some terrible advice ..... they are going to have a child together and you want him to run stupid Push Pull game shit on her .... I think we are past that point in the relationship and to be honest you deserve a punch in the mouth if you tell a pregnant girl to go make you a sandwich ....and WTF is it with not letting her know how much you care about her, in this situation you should tell her and often ... I sometimes don't get it with you guys and your need to be so aloof and distant ?!?!?

  7. #7
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GirlFriend is pregnant and I'm lost...Help!!!

    Drgnsfire12, I think I understand why you don't agree but I disagree that I gave bad advice. His girlfriend is telling him that she is annoyed with how nice and sweet he is all the time. So you would tell him to tell her how much he cares and often? Get real, you sound like feminist. I'm giving him a simple example of how to be sexy and dominant without being a total dick, which is exactly the sort of behavior that keeps a woman attracted. Women don't really want to be told how much you love them all the time. It's better to tell her out of the blue every so often. Push and pull is the same as ying and yang. Too much of one or the other will nuke a relationship. Just my experience...
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  8. #8
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GirlFriend is pregnant and I'm lost...Help!!!

    You know this is not going to end well.

    I guess in hindsight you should never have got a girl like that pregnant. Now you have the baby card to deal with but not much security in terms of a stable family. It doesn't sound like there is a hopeful future given you have not dated long, she has her insecurities and if you decide to continue you will be paying for the child until it's 18 as a minimum even if you are not together. As someone else mentioned she will completely use the baby and the vulnerability of the situation to control you. Everyone looses in this situation unless she miraculously changes. The mantra of 'your too caring' will quickly change into you being an ATM and slave to her and the babies needs. The baby deserves a loving stable family. You deserve a loving stable wife. Your GF deserves time to mature. Both your parents and relatives deserve a place in the family too and they will be all swept into this if you have a child.

    Personally I would have walked away. I know Im being harsh but you need to think very clearly and wisely about this from a family stability perspective, from your own wellbeing perspective and from a financial perspective. Its much better looking after someone else when you know how to look after yourself.

    Good luck!


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