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  1. #1
    Thommo98 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Escape from friendzone with a girl fresh out of LTR

    Hey guys,
    I'm not really looking for a step by step here, just maybe some casual advice on things to keep in mind or scripts to run for my meetup with this girl in a week.

    Just bare with me here - there's a bit of background to cover...

    First of all, I've known this girl for four years. Three of which, she's been dating a sporting rival turned mate of mine. In fact, they only broke up two months ago.. I've been talking to her ever since but have only seen her once due to school-work (she's finishing her final year and is an A student). There's always been a bit of chemistry between us, but neither of us acted on it as she was dating my mate. After her breakup is the closest we've ever been.

    She came to me, I helped her through the breakup and I've been there for her while she's been stressing over her exams. Her ex, to be blunt, is being a dick.. and ive helped her through that as well. I know, I know... great way to get yourself friendzoned Nikko -.- Doesn't matter - I'd do it again.

    I'm taking her ice-skating in a week. We've been pretty flirty over the last two weeks. I've told her that she needs to tell me if I'm being too forward because I don't want to put her in an awkward position. She LJBF-ed.. kinda. When she asked me what I wanted, I told her that I wanted to find out whether we could be more than friends. She's responded by saying that she doesn't want to ruin our friendship but, she's willing to see where things go and that we 'possibly' might have a thing - she just doesnt want to lose me.

    A couple of days later, she brought it up and asked if I had feelings for her. I told her the truth. That I think of her as a friend that has potential - and I want to play it by ear. It's hard to have feelings for someone who you hardly see.. but who knows?

    So yeah, there you have it! Iceskating.. next weekend, with a girl who I may or may not have feelings for who 'doesn't know' how she feels about me, only that she never wants to lose me. Any tips would be awesome! Im happy to just stay friends but, she really is an awesome girl and its bad ju-ju to pass on an opportunity to be woth a girl with some serious potential.

    Cheers gents,
    Thommo

    If you walk in knowing that you're THE MAN, then you've already won the game.

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Escape from friendzone with a girl fresh out of LTR

    Sounds like you already have most of this in the bag. You kinda friendzoned yourself but i guess its ok because you're both playing it by ear. Which really means... No label and its cool to keep going. Things will be good as long as everything is positive.

    My suggestion is to treat things like you're her boyfriend but not one thats micro-managing her life. Let her chase you more. But also lead, reframe things to being more fun, positive and exciting. Most importantly do not apologize for who you are and take full responsibility for your actions the more you progress into a relationship. Especially one without labels because you will often find yourself moving forward unsure of things but she should never doubt your intentions. If she does shes likely to walk away. Always be clear with intent even though you dont need to be push.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    Thommo98 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Escape from friendzone with a girl fresh out of LTR

    Thanks mate. I can really use this advice - especially the part about acting like I'm already her boyfriend. So far, I've just been completely honest with her... and you know what? She doesn't know how she feels. That's great, because I don't want to stick a label on us just yet. In any case, this whole thing is going to be huge amounts of fun - any way it goes.

    Does anyone else have some advice they'd be willing to share? I plan on being at the top of my game for the weekend.
    Thommo

    If you walk in knowing that you're THE MAN, then you've already won the game.

  4. #4
    AlexandreUU is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Escape from friendzone with a girl fresh out of LTR

    Let's just not forget that you've got feelings too and that you deserve as much honesty from her as you've been giving. That's my only advice, man.

  5. #5
    Thommo98 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Escape from friendzone with a girl fresh out of LTR

    Thanks man, I'll try to keep that in mind

    I think she is being honest when she says that she doesn't know. I mean, she's just come out of a 3 year relationship with a guy who used to treat her well but, since they broke up has treated her like dirt. She's right in the middle of exams and your heads in her schoolwork. And she's rejected the advances of abut five different guys (AFCs) already.

    If that's not enough to confuse you, I don't know what is! I'm pretty much the only guy she would consider a relationship with atm - but you've got to understand how scared she must be to stick her neck out again... last time she got burnt hard.
    Thommo

    If you walk in knowing that you're THE MAN, then you've already won the game.

  6. #6
    Thommo98 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Escape from friendzone with a girl fresh out of LTR

    Just an update guys:

    I'm pretty sure she's interested.. but we're still gonna play things by ear. Because I'm driving her to and from the rink - I'm choosing the song list. There's a couple of songs I've got in mind but, just today she texted me up and told me with an 'x' that I HAD to put in 'All about you' by Hillary Duff. Now, I know I'm reading into this way too much.. but, the chorus of the song is,

    "Think you're all about me but I'm all about you
    Turn the lights down let me show you it's true
    Get a little taste of what I'm into
    Think you're all about me but I'm all about you
    (Think you're all about me but I'm all about you), you
    Think you're all about me but I'm all about you "

    The whole song is just about exactly the situation we'd be in if we were to date... but yeah, I'm just going to treat it as a good omen haha.

    Also, for her assignment she needs a decent hitting partner. (We're both tennis players) She's asked me to help her out.. which is cool, and it basically guarantees that I'll be seeing her at least once of week throughout October. I'm keen for that!

    Basically, with the song list I'm trying to set the mood to be fun and sexual. 'All about you' fits into that 100% but, I need some more tracks!! Any suggestions?
    Thommo

    If you walk in knowing that you're THE MAN, then you've already won the game.

  7. #7
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Escape from friendzone with a girl fresh out of LTR

    Quote Originally Posted by Thommo98 View Post
    Basically, with the song list I'm trying to set the mood to be fun and sexual. 'All about you' fits into that 100% but, I need some more tracks!! Any suggestions?
    I wouldn't worry too much about the song tracks...you're not her DJ...or her tennis partner.

    Just because a girls been in a relationship and fears getting burnt or has exams doesn't mean she won't date someone. You have to not care about any of that. It's a school exam, it's not an olympic final. Be mature, be confident, don't worry about the ex and go straight for her jugular. Kiss her with passion and get her horny again. In my experience girls actually don't usually take as long to get over an ex as they say they do, especially if they find someone else special to replace them with. Build attraction from a completely blank fundamental biological Mindset otherwise you will just be the friend she 'uses' in the interim before moving onto to new men. Sure romantic music can help but it's your raw self that needs to do the work. At the moment she's playing it as 'all about her'. Exams, break ups...all normal things that don't give her any leverage for special treatment in the bigger picture. Position yourself as a desirable role model guy and she will be a fool to miss such an opportunity.

  8. #8
    Thommo98 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Escape from friendzone with a girl fresh out of LTR

    Music IS powerful though, and I don't want romantic music - it's the wrong mood. And, I am her tennis partner lol. I get as much out of it as she does.

    As for the other stuff, thanks so much for your advice. I know you're quite knowledgeable about this kind of stuff so it's very cool that you took the time out to comment .

    I am a desirable role model guy. In her own words, I'm the most confident guy she's ever met. I'm fit, intelligent, a born conversationalist, play guitar and cook. Again, her words not mine: perfect.

    That doesn't mean I can't be sensitive. And, in her defense, when I have something big going on in my life - she makes it all about me. The ex I'm not worried about... I do Muay Thai and jiu-jitsu hahaha.

    Again, thanks for your advice whitedragon. I am going to go for the jugular with her, and I'm going to heed your advice about coming in with a blank biological Mindset. Good luck to you in your future pursuits!
    Thommo

    If you walk in knowing that you're THE MAN, then you've already won the game.


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