Me being a drama queen may not be a bad thing. I have been out of it probably since last year after the 3 month POF Oneitis and 1 Year FB HB10 Oneitis I think kinda destroyed me. I was always wasting time and losing my zest for life. I think it was an unknown depression.

Well today I felt was a huge breakthrough that got me over the past relationships. I got my zing back. Weird I don't know if I would be still alive today but because I yelled at her for ignoring me and stormed out I think something clicked. I thought I broke up with her and she came back to me right away but it was pretty lukewarm. Then today I was being a crybaby being lukewarm and posting depressing stuff. I was like on all day and so was she. I know she is watching me like a hawk so I didn't care if her friend ratted me out and started talking to her and she comforted me. Then today she said something very sweet and I think it broke all my old baggage just with a few kind words. But I was dogging on her all day and blaming her so I don't know why she stuck around.

So she said one thing and I said one thing and I felt like it was a great make up. I don't care if she finds out about the friend cuz again I will go to her friend next. But I felt like I finally broke off all the bad juju. So me getting all worked up actually caused her to like me more I think . I tried to get rid of her and she just came crawling back. So I took her back but it took time. Funny how that works.

As far as relationships go my longest is 2 months and we are fast approaching that. I will still game other girls when I am not with her but less frequently due to us hanging out a lot. Also I am facing fierce competition cuz I know she likes this "other guy" who randomly said one day "now he wants a GF." But I feel like throwing it out there like that is pretty desperate so I don't know what she sees in him but that's what I get for a casual relationship and not pushing things to "relationship" territory. I told her it's up to her.

But if it wasn't him it would be someone else. So getting my current GF I had to ignore her a lot, put her on hold till I was ready, and then be pretty honest with myself around her without trying to impress.