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  1. #1
    Jonnpolkk is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I'm her second choice? Now what?

    So me and this girl at my work have been talking/going on dates for 4 weeks now. She recently ended a extremely physically abusive relationship (involving broken bones) over the summer. She told her friends she liked me and thought I was cute. I found out that she was talking to another guy previously before we started talking. I asked her about it and she was honest and told me that it wasn't serious but she was talking to someone else and she didn't know where it was going. I continued to take her out, and treat her very sweet and gentle. I got good morning, handsome/sweetheart texts almost every morning as well as goodnight kisses on the cheek. This week she seemed to open up a little bit. I started massaging her and she loved it, she started tickling me and simple physical flirting (which is hard for her considering her past) Well, 2 days ago our mutual friend asked her what was going on with us and her reply was, "We're just friends for now... I told him that I need time to emotionally grow and I told him I was talking to someone else as well... but I do like him, a lot. He's very cute and sweet and I love that he is still trying... it's incredible" Well our mutual friend told me this... and I stopped talking to her that day. I didn't say goodnight. I just left quickly alone. Friday morning I said nothing and she liked one of my instagram photos. Later that day she walked in my office and sat down and I said hey and she sat and left after 5 minutes of quietness. At the end of the day, I sucked it up and walked into her office and said, "Hey. Have a great day today." and she smiled and said, "You have an amazing day today" and we smiled for a couple of seconds and I left. The thing is... I feel like I just WANT to love this girl. I want to show her what its like for a guy to treat her like a princess but... I don't know what to do. She likes me and loves that i'm trying... but she reiterated that she is talking to someone else... It's just sad.

  2. #2
    bluestions is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I'm her second choice? Now what?

    You said: "I feel like I just WANT to love this girl." If you're not attracted to her, you're not attracted to her. And if you are attracted to her, you have to put the moves on her. You didn't kiss her in 4 weeks? She might have thought you were gay.

  3. #3
    Jonnpolkk is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I'm her second choice? Now what?

    I am very attracted to her and I tried to kiss her last week and she smiled and grabbed my face sweetly and said, "not yet" real sweet. The then explained later that night how she doesnt just give out kisses, and she can't give people that side of her because she's scared they will hurt her.

  4. #4
    bluestions is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I'm her second choice? Now what?

    What that girl told you was a lie. A kiss never gets rejected or "postponed" if she's feeling the sexual Tension. You need to use your attraction to her to create that tension and then PAY ATTENTION TO HER. If she's giving you the signs she wants to kiss you, you will know and then go for it. Watch out for the friend zone

  5. #5
    Jonnpolkk is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I'm her second choice? Now what?

    But havent I already been friendzoned? I'm a second choice now basically.

  6. #6
    Jack Sherwood is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I'm her second choice? Now what?

    Second choice isn't a very positive sounding perspective. To me it sounds like HE is the second choice. She's not your girlfriend, so what if she's hanging with another guy. You're a badass who knows what 90% of guys don't. That there is a network like this. So put on your big boy panties and quit being all sad about this girl.

    She doesn't need a knight in shining armor. She doesn't need rescuing like a little lost puppy. She needs, and wants, a guy that will have fun with her. Make her laugh. Tease her. Tickle her and escalate to a k close.

    Do some reading on here. Do a lot of it. Read Tao. read anything. Take a step back and change your perception. Have fun with it, flirt with other girls, practice your craft, give yourself options. If you're not enjoying the process neither will she.

    Buck up. You got this. It's far from over. You got a great report from the friend. Keep trying like she said. Just modify your approach with some lessons on here. Read the conversational bible. Read all the guys on here with high thread counts.

    Finally, keep us posted. We're all here to learn and do better, not just for ourselves but also for our ladies.

  7. #7
    Jonnpolkk is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I'm her second choice? Now what?

    I just feel like she basically said, "he should talk to other people too like I am" and I backed off. We havent texted since Thursday and we barelly spoke Friday. Now what?


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