Re: And I'm falling for my best friend....again :(
I've known my bestie for over 20 years now. She has openly admitted to me on a public FB post that we've been close to hooking up on several occasions (I know this to be true... because I was there!) The funny thing was, looking back on all those times, it was the same formula - we were having so much fun with each other, that boundaries just disappeared. One night I was fingering her in our friend's bathroom during a party (with about 20 other of our closest friends in the other room). We also happened to be the two drunkest people there, by agreement, and both agreed that we were going to make it an epic fun night for both of us. And even though not much happened, we both still laugh at the story and remain close friends. FWIW, I don't think another 10 minutes alone in the bathroom would have changed our friendship one bit (because I don't see her as long term dating material. She's incredibly unique and cool and crazy fun, but she's not what I'm looking for). Anyway, how did it get there? It was a matter of having such an intense vibe, having so much emotion and fun, and there being an "us bubble" that was intensely strong (I told her I wasn't going to the party, with all of our mutual friends, unless she was my date). We also wound up offending our friends when we made out for 30 minutes in public, completely ignoring our friends the whole time. But, hey, they got over it. And yes, again, this girl is just a friend. Always has been, always will be.
I also had a serious gf who was often very chiding towards me, treating me like a child. That was just the way she was. She was a very unique, highly-self-assured person who said what she thought and did not seek validation from anyone. So when she'd give me those looks, what would I do? I would not give a shit. I would tease her a bit about it to see if she softened or hardened - are you just giving your opinion here? Or am I pushing up against a serious core belief? I would then act accordingly.
As for her getting shot down by your friend, I would tease the fuck out of her about it. I'd point out how she has zero social skills, no sense of what's appropriate, and is looking for self-destructive relationships. In general, it's not a terrible idea to notice whatever your natural reaction is, take a deep breath, and flip the script and do the complete opposite. In this case, calling her out on it would give you the opportunity to create a frame where you know what's best for her and she needs to follow you and listen to you more closely.
Hypnotist, NLP geek. I've done: Tao of Badass, Hacking Attraction, How To Date Multiple Women (Pellicer's stuff), Get the Girl, How to Talk to Hot Women, No Strings Attached (Mehow's stuff), and now I'm getting into RSD's stuff. I don't go out a lot, but I kill it when challenged