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Thread: Girl starts ignoring me out of the blue.

  1. #1
    skatoylas is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Girl starts ignoring me out of the blue.

    Hello guys! So, this girl is the one that my previous post was about. Generally i found it pretty difficult to control the situation, I acted AFC after we started making out and I lost her.. at first. Then I took my attention away, slowly re-built attraction, made her ran behind me and then at a concert made out with her for a very short period of time because she had to leave. Then for the next 2 weeks I saw her two times and we had again very short make out sessions because of time problems. Finally we went on a real date and everything was going perfect until she didnt want us making out while some spesific persons could see us. Generally I didnt put up with the BS and to sum up made her clear that when we are together we wont be hiding from the others, or we simply wont be together. Then the next day I saw her again in a social event and she pretty much (after trying not to, of course) compromised with me. Also she explained me why she didnt want us to make out in front of those guys and there was indeed a reason but I believe the whole thing was either an excuse (and the problem was some other insecurities of hers) or a shit test (generally she shit tests ALL THE FUCKING TIME). So far so good... She was all over me, "I like you very much..." and stuff like that. One week goes by (we only chatted a bit and there was no problem with it) and I see her in another social event. After seeing her I didnt ran to her or anything, I probably said "hey" or just smiled and then looked back to my friends (her friends too). And here is the thing... she passes by me poking me friendly and starts flirting and being all over a friend of mines. The whole night passes by and I dont give her attention obviously but she has flrited with a lot of guys which is nothing unusual coz the bitch loves attention and she always doesnt go any further than flirting with them. The problem is that she keeps ignoring me after seeing that I have no problem with what she is doing and after two days when I see her again same story happens. Especially on that day I was very very happy coz I was almost sure the whole thing is a shit test so I just ignored, had fun and flirted with another girl a little bit. She was all over every guy except me (she even flirted with guys that are not usual victims of hers or shall we call them "flirt-buddies") which is even unusual for her and at the "breaks" between the flirts she seemed very frustrated. Generally, I thought I really really read her that day and believe me I have a lot of experience with her. After a day and a half I sent her a very "laid back" text jokingly telling her that she tries sooo hard to make me jealous. She answered with a big text saying that after the last date, neither of us did want to continue something between us so our thing is considered closed, and that she doesnt want to make me jealous or something. Sent back and forth 2-3 more texts where I kept my frame but she keeps ignoring so I obviously didnt continue. Also she started dating one of the guys she was with on the first night the ignore-thing started happening but they always go to social events and I havent even seen them talk or flirt that much on the dates (We have a lot of common friends and places so I see her a lot) and her VERY aggressive style is nowhere to be found with him. So my question is this: Can the bitch have lost interest so quickly and for some extrinsic (not between me and her) reason?? Can this whole thing be a huge shit test?

  2. #2
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girl starts ignoring me out of the blue.

    Finally we went on a real date and everything was going perfect until she didnt want us making out while some spesific persons could see us. Generally I didnt put up with the BS and to sum up made her clear that when we are together we wont be hiding from the others, or we simply wont be together. Then the next day I saw her again in a social event and she pretty much (after trying not to, of course) compromised with me
    here's the problem. you set an ultimatum that the two of you should act like a couple in public, but then, when you were in public you ignored her and acted like you were single. she was testing to see if you would claim her in public the same way you had demanded of her.

    what makes a strong confident man?.. a man who sticks with the terms he sets.


    the best way to avoid a circumstance like this, is to avoid ultimatums. women are too damn good at punishing us when we are too controlling.

    the real way to win in this circumstance would have been to ditch her when she wouldn't kiss in public (if you're really that f*cking concerned about not getting to make out in front of people)

    Can the bitch have lost interest so quickly and for some extrinsic (not between me and her) reason??
    odds are you really pissed her off because you expected her to claim you in public, but then you didn't claim her in public. she put on the show to see if you would tell those guys that she's your girlfriend. (aka she was trying to force ioi's from you)

    you displayed a general lack of interest and thus she felt like you didn't care about her that much.


    while being alpha is good, sometimes you also need to set the rules aside and really think about how your actions make people feel. i'll give you a hint, making people feel good is usually the best way to get them to make you feel good. its all give and take.

  3. #3
    skatoylas is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl starts ignoring me out of the blue.

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    here's the problem. you set an ultimatum that the two of you should act like a couple in public, but then, when you were in public you ignored her and acted like you were single. she was testing to see if you would claim her in public the same way you had demanded of her.

    what makes a strong confident man?.. a man who sticks with the terms he sets.


    the best way to avoid a circumstance like this, is to avoid ultimatums. women are too damn good at punishing us when we are too controlling.

    the real way to win in this circumstance would have been to ditch her when she wouldn't kiss in public (if you're really that f*cking concerned about not getting to make out in front of people)



    odds are you really pissed her off because you expected her to claim you in public, but then you didn't claim her in public. she put on the show to see if you would tell those guys that she's your girlfriend. (aka she was trying to force ioi's from you)

    you displayed a general lack of interest and thus she felt like you didn't care about her that much.


    while being alpha is good, sometimes you also need to set the rules aside and really think about how your actions make people feel. i'll give you a hint, making people feel good is usually the best way to get them to make you feel good. its all give and take.
    First of all thank you veeeery much for the reply. The problem is that it seems really difficult to understand what youre trying to explain me. The ultimatum that I set was this: we are making out in front of our friends like normal people, or we are doing nothing at all. And after she firstly tried to not let me kiss her in public I made that clear and did not kiss her until she had compromised. Even when we were alone. Even when she took me by the hand, took us away from the others and tried (to hug/kiss me and) to explain why she doesnt want us kissing in front of our friends. So should I have started kissing her even when she didnt want to and even when she had chosen (with her silence) the second option of the two I gave her? Wouldnt that be me running after her and trying to force her desperately do what I wanted? Also, I actually did ditch her in a sense since we were at a concert and I just kept having fun with my friends and doing nothing with her.

    Finally, it may seem very idiotic of me having such a problem not kissing in front of those dudes but they are the guys I hang out almost every day with, my best friends, and she even know most of them have an idea of what's going on between us. So a lot of the times that we are together they are there as well. I cant be hiding from my friends all the time..

    If you could explaing a bit more your points to help me understand what I so far cant it would be very helpful. Thank you anyway.

  4. #4
    skatoylas is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl starts ignoring me out of the blue.

    I dont know if I made it clear enough but after her compromising with me we acted like a couple in public for the rest of the night.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Girl starts ignoring me out of the blue.

    we are making out in front of our friends like normal people,
    here's some food for thought. do normal people make out in front of their friends or in public on a regular basis?

    I don't think so. usually Isolation is required for heavy make out sessions (unless the girl is drunk or very sexually active or both) my understanding is that women are usually a bit shy about such public displays. sure a guy might kiss his girlfriend in public every now and then, but its almost never full on "making out"

    odds are, she's the kind of girl who's private about her sex life. (or she needs a good excuse to participate in sexual behavior in public) (anything beyond just a quick kiss would be termed "sexual behavior")

    fact is, she didn't want to be judged for making out in public, and you made her very uncomfortable. women judge each other to the extreme. she simply didn't want to be judged by her girlfriends or by any other women for that matter. you tripped her anti-slut defense, and then made it worse by pushing farther.

    So should I have started kissing her even when she didnt want to and even when she had chosen (with her silence) the second option of the two I gave her?
    you don't kiss a girl when she doesn't want it and you don't have to always kiss her when she wants it.

    to avoid anti-slut defense, you either need to be isolated, or give her a reason to have an excuse for when her friends ask about it.

    Finally, it may seem very idiotic of me having such a problem not kissing in front of those dudes but they are the guys I hang out almost every day with, my best friends, and she even know most of them have an idea of what's going on between us.
    also, she could have felt like you were trying to show off for your friends. that type of behavior also trips anti-slut defense.


    while being alpha is good, sometimes you also need to set the rules aside and really think about how your actions make people feel. i'll give you a hint, making people feel good is usually the best way to get them to make you feel good. its all give and take.
    I believe this is the part I needed to clarify. you don't always have to be controlling to win. sure, being alpha and making her do the things you want feels good and boosts the ego. but game is fluid. oftentimes the best way to game is to stay fluid and go with the flow. when you make a big deal out of an issue, it becomes a big issue. you could have just as easily recognized that she was uncomfortable with the public stuff and isolated her for a close (without her having to tell you).

    one of the number 1 rules I live by is simple: never gripe for anything.

    things almost never go your way 100%. complaining when they don't go your way and trying to force her hand is a sure sign of weakness. a strong man would brush it off like its not a big deal and then figure out the best way to flow around the obstacles.

    btw, why is it such a big deal that she makes out with you in front of people? do you have something to prove by doing this? do you really care that much about what your friends think?

  6. #6
    skatoylas is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl starts ignoring me out of the blue.

    First of all, it's my fault that i didnt put it right. The problem is not that she didnt want to make out in public, i had no need of playing with her tits while we were having some drinks with our friends lol. The problem was that she didnt want to show that we are together to some specific guys.

    As I said in a previous post, she explained me in a huge covresation what was the reason of that one day after I made her clear that we are not hiding or we are not doing anything at all. And there is no need to tell you all the details. Briefly, she told me about an AFC friend of mine that tried to "seduce" her some days before and now everybody would think that she was taking her slut-revenge with me and they would judge her. As I also said, I believe the real problem was either a judgement problem cozed by some inner insecurities that I know she has or a shit test. Or both. Generally, about her inner insecurities, also briefly, they result in her flirting hard with every guy but being afraid to show anything more than that in public and much more in front of people that know her.

    So, as you probably understand by now, or as I faulty still believe, I didnt want everything to go 100% my way, I just wanted not to act all the fucking time and not to run in places that we are alone, just for half a minute to give some quick kisses. Also, that girl is so flirty with everybody that it would be very risky to not show that we are lovers. One more thing that I should tell you is that we didnt have a close relatioship or a relationship at all, and she had told me that it would be easier for her if we had one. But she didnt push me about that probably coz her value would go down and she understood that. That was probably a mistake of mines, I should have had an open relationship with her so she could tell everybody that we are in a relationship not spesifying it and it would make it easier for her.

    What I didnt understand from your saying is this: "you set an ultimatum that the two of you should act like a couple in public, but then, when you were in public you ignored her and acted like you were single. she was testing to see if you would claim her in public the same way you had demanded of her."

  7. #7
    Sightseaing is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl starts ignoring me out of the blue.

    I'm new here and this might not be the best advice but have you considered flirting with other girls in front of her? I don't mean go and make out with as many girls you can find but as she does with men to show that if you don't give me what I want I can find it somewhere else. Also she might think that that's all your looking for is to make out with her in front of your friends to show them that she's yours so if she expects that your going to make out with her maybe just a peck on the lips is fine next time, create some Tension make her keep guessing why isn't he making out with me in front of his friends or in public, maybe observing the guys she likes and AMOG them to be the alpha. And when in public subtle Kino like your hand on the back of her neck or lower waist while your talking normally. Or even teasing her about flirting with guys, asking her what she thought about him that made her flirt with him in the first place shows confidence that you don't really care. Anyways Ithese are just rants from an observation of a my best friend of mine who's a natural and somehow gets every girl in he likes into a long relationship.

  8. #8
    Sightseaing is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl starts ignoring me out of the blue.

    Oops posted twice didn't mean to and I can't remove it
    Last edited by Sightseaing; 07-06-2015 at 03:23 AM. Reason: Eccidently sent the same reply twice hehe

  9. #9
    skatoylas is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl starts ignoring me out of the blue.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sightseaing View Post
    I'm new here and this might not be the best advice but have you considered flirting with other girls in front of her? I don't mean go and make out with as many girls you can find but as she does with men to show that if you don't give me what I want I can find it somewhere else. Also she might think that that's all your looking for is to make out with her in front of your friends to show them that she's yours so if she expects that your going to make out with her maybe just a peck on the lips is fine next time, create some tension make her keep guessing why isn't he making out with me in front of his friends or in public, maybe observing the guys she likes and AMOG them to be the alpha. And when in public subtle Kino like your hand on the back of her neck or lower waist while your talking normally. Or even teasing her about flirting with guys, asking her what she thought about him that made her flirt with him in the first place shows confidence that you don't really care. Anyways Ithese are just rants from an observation of a my best friend of mine who's a natural and somehow gets every girl in he likes into a long relationship.
    Thans for the reply !!! Flirting with other girls in front of her is for sure a good thing but I havent used it very much, not because I chose not to but more because I didnt have the chance to. Since I am not a very good/experienced PUA to try such a thing I should be already sure that the girl will have positive response otherwise it would backfire. But still, I am positive that she has in mind that if she doesnt give me what I want I am going to find it somewhere else. The amoging is also considerable. About the kino, she already uses a ton of kino not just with me but with every guy she flirts with. Teasing her about flirting with other guys I think is just not my style.

    And here comes a quick update. The last one and a half week I ve seen her with the guy she dates quite some times. What I come to understand is that they have a relationship but they just dont express it in public due to the same insecurities she had with me. I have pretty much got over this girl after the first 2-3 days I understood she really didnt want to continue having a relationship with me. But still, I really want to understand better why this happened and maybe even win her back. By the way, today was the first day I saw her without the guy she dates and she started seeking attention again. What is the best way to react to such behaviour. Not even giving her the slightest bit of attention? Just giving her some of it like I just want to be polite?

  10. #10
    Sightseaing is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl starts ignoring me out of the blue.

    im not sure but in this case id refere to the book the game from niel strauss where you assume value, your the trofe she gets to win if she gives an effort not the other way around what my friend would do is creat a world where she thinks shes doing something wrong and you dont tell her what. by ignoring her for a week if she texts you and if you by chance meet in the street just say hi with kind of a your here but i dont really care face expression. or your busy but dont try to invoke a conversation she might fill in the rest of the conversation for you. after a week not texting or whatever show some interest tease her about the boyfriends she has ask what she likes in them and and i know it sounds stupid but shes with these other guys because theres something in them that she likes you wanna be that, a girl is attracted to to one sort of guy just with differnt names. shell see your confident and dont mind the other guys, maybe it might hurt a bit inside but yeah where here on the forums not because its easy but because it hard :P


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