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  1. #1
    jee
    jee is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default she won't leave her boyfriend

    Met this girls when she's in a long distance relationship, months ago she's asked me if i like her and it ended up she's having kinda the same feeling on me as well. we kissed at some stage, but she didn't realised she need to leave her bf for me and she can't have 2 at the same time. so i told her i will leave her life, and would love to get into relationship with her once she's single. she cry for the whole night after i told her that, and that night she told me actually her bf doesn't really care about her and won't committee. she also kinda losing feeling about her bf as well. then after that know she's knows that she's has to be single to be with me, and i didnt giving anymore pressure on her, but everytime we hang out, she will sneak in those question like will you parent like me etc that kinda make me feel like she's making sure i am a good deal to break up for. but then is been a while, she's doesn't seems like she's gonna break up and sometimes when i asked she's like she wanna be fair to her bf and don't want to just brake up this way.


    i am confused why is she keep saying she's gonna give chance to her bf and wouldnt just leave him?
    and what can i do?

  2. #2
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: she won't leave her boyfriend

    i am confused why is she keep saying she's gonna give chance to her bf and wouldnt just leave him?
    odds are, she still see's him as the more valuable guy. he likely stimulates her better than you do. my guess is that you have fallen into the typical "nice guy" pattern of caring for her emotional needs rather than creating her emotional need of you.

    it also seems like you are trying to be the proverbial white knight trying to save her from her lackluster boyfriend. while it may seem like the right thing to do, its actually a terrible trap you can fall into. you are presenting yourself as the "ideal man" (the guy who meets every possible qualification she can throw at you) the trouble being that her mental image of you is potentially greater than the real you.(which can thus lead to incongruence issues)

    what can i do?
    you need to defame yourself some. show her that your not the perfect guy for her. maybe even tell her reasons why she should choose her boyfriend over you. this probably doesn't make sense to you because it is counter intuitive, but if there is one great thing I have learned from pickup: it is that women behave in strange and illogical ways lol

    when a woman gives you a compliment, you can disqualify yourself. tell her its not that great. you are imperfect. it is this imperfection about you that she will come to fall in love with.

    example

    her: wow you're so muscular!
    me: yes, but I really don't workout enough anymore..

    example 2

    her: you're so good looking
    me: yes, but not when I first wake up in the morning.

    example 3

    her: you're such a great driver
    me: yes, but I lost the only street race I've ever been in...

    example 4

    her: your hair is so amazing!
    me: enjoy it while it lasts I'm getting it cut tomorrow.

    basically the idea is to be a tease and avoid gloating about yourself and how different you are from the rest of the men of this society. its ok to accept a compliment, but don't accept too many of them. keep her guessing, stay unpredictable.

  3. #3
    FromBoyToMan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: she won't leave her boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    odds are, she still see's him as the more valuable guy. he likely stimulates her better than you do. my guess is that you have fallen into the typical "nice guy" pattern of caring for her emotional needs rather than creating her emotional need of you.

    it also seems like you are trying to be the proverbial white knight trying to save her from her lackluster boyfriend. while it may seem like the right thing to do, its actually a terrible trap you can fall into. you are presenting yourself as the "ideal man" (the guy who meets every possible qualification she can throw at you) the trouble being that her mental image of you is potentially greater than the real you.(which can thus lead to incongruence issues)



    you need to defame yourself some. show her that your not the perfect guy for her. maybe even tell her reasons why she should choose her boyfriend over you. this probably doesn't make sense to you because it is counter intuitive, but if there is one great thing I have learned from pickup: it is that women behave in strange and illogical ways lol

    when a woman gives you a compliment, you can disqualify yourself. tell her its not that great. you are imperfect. it is this imperfection about you that she will come to fall in love with.

    example

    her: wow you're so muscular!
    me: yes, but I really don't workout enough anymore..

    example 2

    her: you're so good looking
    me: yes, but not when I first wake up in the morning.

    example 3

    her: you're such a great driver
    me: yes, but I lost the only street race I've ever been in...

    example 4

    her: your hair is so amazing!
    me: enjoy it while it lasts I'm getting it cut tomorrow.

    basically the idea is to be a tease and avoid gloating about yourself and how different you are from the rest of the men of this society. its ok to accept a compliment, but don't accept too many of them. keep her guessing, stay unpredictable.
    Posts From Veterans on here are impressive, makes sense at most and is interesting. awesome advice


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