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  1. #1
    TheChilledPenguin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Highway to the dangerzone: Attracting and Dating an abuse victim

    Ill cut to the chase, this is a dangerous and difficult one:


    Girl at work, I knew I wanted her upon first seeing her. Been escalating and I have her number, we talk readily, I hit her with C and F regularly and she has some level of interest. We are currently stood in a stage of playful insults thrown back and fourth.


    She is someone I genuinely care about and want as a girlfriend.


    We ended up getting to the dating part, I arranged a date and she cancelled last minute. 2nd date reorganised, she stood me up. 3rd date she cancelled in the morning. 4th was a meal but she quickly rushed away after I bought her lunch from a KFC and met up with her in my car on her lunch break (it was agreed beforehand). By this point I knew something was up so I had gone sick at her for acting this way towards me and threatened to no longer date her.


    She eventually admitted a big problem...


    The problem: She recently just admitted that she has had a life of physical abuse and was recently sexually assaulted as well. The thing is, after much argument I genuinely believe her now!


    This basically means she has stated she feels pressurised, panicked and upset seeing me but she does genuinely like me! She said she just needs time to open up again and needs to be able to trust me.


    I like this girl, but she is giving out so many mixed signals! It's so hard to tell where I stand with her!


    I'm not "dating" her as such, we are both still single but I need to escalate this further before it sizzles out. I feel I am going to borderline friendzone with her unless I find a way to carry on the vibes. What can I do and why is that the best course of action?

    I could easily just let it fade but that won't produce the result I want. Any ideas?

  2. #2
    TheChilledPenguin is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 55, Level: 1
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    Default Re: Highway to the dangerzone: Attracting and Dating an abuse victim

    Thinking of shittesting her to see where I stand. Going to do one test for now which is not to start a conversation with her by voice, text and online just to see if she takes notice of me. If she starts a conversation herself then she passes. This should see whether something is genuinely there or if she just likes the attention.

    Any other suggestions for tests?

  3. #3
    roland777 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 661, Level: 13
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    500 Experience Points31 days registered
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    Default Re: Highway to the dangerzone: Attracting and Dating an abuse victim

    Any update on this? I don't have input just somewhat similar situation possibly developing....

  4. #4
    itssosimpleitisdifficult is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 75, Level: 1
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    7 days registered
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    Default Re: Highway to the dangerzone: Attracting and Dating an abuse victim

    Run. Too much baggage and she's not ready. She may never be ready.

  5. #5
    Movie Man is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 54, Level: 1
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    Default Re: Highway to the dangerzone: Attracting and Dating an abuse victim

    Been there done that. Abuse victims make great strippers, not great girlfriends. Even if you start dating the insanity will follow her...and you...forever. Ass and elbows outta there man. MM


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