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  1. #1
    Fl3my is offline PUA in Training
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    Exclamation Friend Zoned Help

    Hi Total beginner here

    I know these girl for a couple of months, when i first met her i asked her out and she refused but wanted to stay friends.
    I hanged out with her a lot when we first met usually hanging at her place, i got to a situation that my feet are under her legs while shes in bed, but each time i tried to go further she got away.
    i gave up on the whole thing for some months.

    we have some mutual friends so i see her from time to time
    recently shes been calling me almost every day but im not really sure whats happening.
    at first it seemed really friendly but then she made sure i saw her in her bathing suit before she got to the shower.

    Today she came to my place with a friend f hers that i also know.
    They were actually talking about my girl dating some guy her family wants her to date, and shes not sure if shes into him, at the end of the debate her friend said "fuck him" and she agreed.
    I live with my parents so we had to be at my room
    they kept talking about her wanting a relationship but being happy with being single.

    The friend wanted to go to some party at a bar and my girl insisted on staying at my place her friend left saying she wil come back (she didn't).

    We talked she wanted to drink I didn't so i just smoked.
    she lying on my bed im on a chair beside the bed she said she was cold and asked me to adjust the ac I used this to check her temperature, she gave me her leg and said it feels nice.

    she continued talking about her fears of relationships, I tried some other light touching while making a point.

    I gave her the cube test, she loved It, than she wanted to know more and didn't like another test I found online( she asked for something sexual and that was to sexual).

    she asked me if i approach girls and i said i do but i'm rusty (which is true)
    She asked me if i could be naked with a girl without it being sexual, I said NO only with girls i had sex with.
    she said she could feel comfortable being being with a bra and underpants next to me.

    we continued talking she gave up on going home and decided to go to her parents place (which is close by)

    before she left when had a moment which i'm not sure if it was weird or she was waiting for me to kiss her.

    I'm not sure how to go from here, I really like this girl, she keeps talking about being afraid of a relationship and wanting one.

  2. #2
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friend Zoned Help

    Hey fella. From what you've said so far and what she's done, she gave you every indication to make a move but you played it safe when she didn't want you to. She's done everything to give you a signal but you ignored it. She was on your bed and turned it sexual but you still played it safe. Speaking from inexperience I would have done the same as I would have been confused and would have needed to act like the perfect gentleman to convey that to her but here's the thing, she wouldn't have taken those steps if she didn't think you already were so at that point playing it safe is a pointless move.

    The reason she's saying she likes both sides of the equation (being single and needing a relationship) is because she doesn't want to pick the option opposite of yours. That's why she's leaving both roads open depending which one you would take. She was ok with either being a FWB or a LTR. The next time you meet get touchy and friendly and amp up the sexual Tension. Stop conveying the "just friends" message you've had so far and go for the kiss. When she says she's cold on your bed, get flirty and move in for the cuddle and then for the kiss. Don't be afraid to walk through a door if she unlocks it for you and hey, if you walked into a stranger's house, just apologise and get on with your life.

    If you like this girl then you need to crunch your butt cheeks and make the move as she's already signalled you in every which way

  3. #3
    Fl3my is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Friend Zoned Help

    Hi I didn't update since I thought this forum is dead, glad to see it isn't.
    a couple of days after that situation, she came to my place we talked, started getting the conversation to her hair.
    I touched her hair and the she said look at my roots i touched her roots, went back to my place on the chair beside the bed.

    2 minutes later I said '' i hope i'm getting the signals right'' and went for the kiss. she got back and said no!!
    gave her something to smoke and her friends came around, she seemed nervous and wanted to go.

    The day after she called me offered me to go to the beach, I accepted
    she gave me a little talk about staying friends and not doing stupid things
    We stopped at her place for alcohol and went to the beach, she actually rubbed my back with sun screen cream.

    That night her friends and mine were going out to the same place.
    at the club I met her, there were a lot of people i know there so i kind of moved from group to group did a few bad approaches.
    At one of those times I left her she said were are you going and pinched my ass as i turned.
    she was pretty drunk and held my hand a bit and than changed it to hand in hand until she dropped it
    she came to my place everyday after work since than but seemed reclusive
    yesterday she was cold so she took a shirt of mine and socks.
    we watched this stupid show like dancing with stars, she fell asleep a little bit and went home.

    I kind of lost the initiative and the will to pursue her, wouldn't mind if something happened but i'm tired of that and she enlarged my social circle with more girls so I'm thinking she's also good as a friend.

  4. #4
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friend Zoned Help

    If you want something to happen with her then it can still happen but if you lost the will and think it's better to have her as a friend and increase your social circle then that is a good thing as well but nothing is stopping you from having both. I look at alcohol (in moderation) as a truth serum. It gives people the courage to do things they normally wouldn't. So it gave her the confidence to pinch your butt, hold your hand and get close to you on the dancefloor after she saw you with balls of steel approaching girls left right and centre.

    So what's stopping her when she's sober. Fear of rejection? Most people don't like rejection and they can't or don't want to handle it so the best way to do that is to avoid putting yourself in that position. If you are afraid of drowning, you don't go free diving in the middle of the pacific. She might push you away because she's "comfortable" with you at this level and she doesn't want to go for more fearing she may lose you. You need to push that comfort zone and set the boundaries and let her know she can be comfortable with you no matter what.


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