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  1. #1
    southpaw Guest

    Default Need Help/Advice! went AFC and got an EXgirlfriend

    Hey guys, I registered to ask a question on a problem I have. You see, I used to be somewhat more 'into' pickup, until I eventually met a girl that I thought I could probably settle down with. That was a little over 2 years ago.

    So anyway, Our relationship kind of got messed up when I overdid my alpha attitude and I acted like I didn't care about a tantrum she threw 6 months ended up with us not talking for a week. In her eyes, it was a 'breakup', while in mine it was really just a, "call me when you grow up, until then I don't want or care to talk to you".

    Anyway, she calls, we're all happy, but somewhere down the line these past 6 months, I started to really lose it and steadily become a doormat in an effort to make her happy. She was really hurt about that one week. Worse, I also started to get needy/insecure towards the end there. I've been reviewing it for a week or so now and I'm still not sure when I lost my way, but I didn't even notice. Call it getting comfortable in a relationship and not keeping up the challenge. Anyway, 2 weeks ago she called it off. Partly because she 'keeps thinking I'll leave/give up on her' because of our short week apart, and partly because, well I really became a needy, insecure little girl.

    She won't talk to me, and other than a short bout of extreme AFCness when she actually left (bit of a reminder: at this point I thought she could be the one and I lost it) I've kind of left it at that other than texting, "my family says thank you for the gift, and Merry Christmas" on the holiday. However, theres a strong possibility that I'll run into her on new years eve, because mutual friends of ours that are hosting the party and to me point blank, "when did you start letting her rule your life and decide whether your coming to our party or not? She makes a problem she's gone. Quit being such a bitch" (Their words. I had told them I was planning on just letting her be and moving on for awhile until she realized she farked up). It was a wakeup call from these friends though. I'm ready to go the party and just tell her I've decided to live my life and stop being a doormat, she can go into another room of the house if it bothers her.

    SO, now that you've got the back story, my question is this. I've never gamed an Ex. Never thought it was important. I've thought about this girl though and I'm at the point where I'm okay with moving on if I have to. I can recognize her faults and her good qualities though and I want to give it a shot. Any advice on gaming an Ex that's trying to move on, and also might try to bring some random dude with her as a date? I haven't gamed in awhile so I guess I'm worried I'm going to be rusty and mess it up.

    Last edited by southpaw; 12-30-2010 at 01:42 PM. Reason: Revised Title

  2. #2
    Raven Guest

    Default Re: Reverting to AFC gives me an EXgirlfriend

    I don't think you can really game an ex, at least not in this situation. If you are still in the position where you have to "game" a girl, then it's a crappy relationship. Love doesn't need game to carry it forward, and good chemistry manifests itself in this fact.

  3. #3
    aling is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Reverting to AFC gives me an EXgirlfriend

    Wow, Raven I'm new to the forums but must've trolled through hundreds of posts looking for this type of reasoned response and this is the first one. I also think that attributes that make for a good PUA can make you a poor candidate for relationships. Perhaps there's a balancing act. PUA the trivial but deal with actual problems when they arise. How many long term relationships do you see among Hollywood actors? Their phoniness gets them to a point but without authenticity the relationships rarely ever last.


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