I'm not sure this topic goes right in this section, but it was the closest one.
I will try to make the long story short. Sorry if this first post is going to be a little long.
Though I have always been interested into deep understanding human nature, I have only recently come in contact with this awesome community of lovers of mankind .
I got all this stuff as a challenge for my self-growth, and tried it right away.
I was impressed by the effectiveness of that consciousness: I was immediately able to meet a girl at a party, date her a few days later and that same day kiss-close her.
Everything went extremely smooth, most of all, I must admit it, because I was taking things pretty lightly.
Two days after the kiss-close, I had to go out of town for about two weeks; she came running at the port to kiss me, bring me a cake for the travel, and reading me some poetry.
I was deeply impressed.
Over the course of the next weeks we kept in touch almost every day, and things were pretty intimate and romantic.
I indeed grew attached to her, curse me!
However, just a few days before I was about to come back to town, she had planned a 10 days-trip with some friends.
During this trip too, nevertheless, even if it could be quite costly to make out-of-country calls, she kept calling me and writing emails, telling me that she wished I was with her and all that good jazz.
When she comes back, we settle for a date the next day.
At the date, she keeps the distance, and, at some point, tells me that she had kissed another guy the last day she was on the trip.
I get completely caught off guard, though I don't freak out. I keep it cool, and she's quite impressed by my reaction, as she says she had expected me to tell her to fark off.
I didn't see any reason to do that anyway, since we had been dating for so little anyway, but I understand the point is not that she kissed another guy, but that her attention is now completely drawn to that guy (this is how I see it).
I honestly don't know what to say — what could have I? I just ask her what does she want to do, and she answers with a "I don't know, but this is not a Goodbye".
I understand that what she means is that she's going to take a step back.
Honestly, I don't want to be noone puppet or be the noone's good samaritan.
I tell her that this may be a goodbye; I say (not word-for-word): “The point is that I like you, and if you want me to take a step back now, that's not going to happen. You have to sort your feelings out and let me know. But do so soon, because I have no intention to wait for too long.” (I know waiting for too long can be devastating for me).
I wait three days and we don't get in touch at all. Then I text her and ask to meet her, she agrees and we meet.
As we speak, I ask her what has she decided and she legitimately tells me she has not decided anything, as she wishes things could just flow naturally.
In my heart I agree with her, I just hate to rationalize these kind of stuff, let alone to give the girl the power to decide over me (I guess that was a dlv from my part).
I tell her: "I agree with you, I would also like for things to flow naturally: but if I were to act naturally, I would actually be kissing you right now. I'm not doing so because I respect your feelings (AFC alarm!)”.
She looks striken though, and we spend the next two hours walking hand in hand, or arm in arm or with me holding her.
I try to kiss her twice:
once she pulls me in a hug and whispers: “wait…”
The second time, as I look her into her eyes, she cheekely scolds me saying: “Behave yourself!”, I smile and say something like: “Totally behaving myself right now.” and again we hug.
As we say goodbye to eachother she hugs me twice.
Ok, so, the point being:
I am aware she's still interested in me, and I still have opportunity. That's why I am writing: because I don't want to make any false move. I am already in check, as I see it: because I told her I like her and she knows I am accessible to her, which I kinda see it's a big turn off. I gave her the power, but I guess not all is lost.
What should my next move be? Disappear until she looks for me? Make contact with her like we did when she was indeed super-attracted, as to summon that frame? or just to let her understand how she feels good about me? I just think this pushing myself too much in is a bit detrimental.
On the other hand, guys, to be honest to you, I really thinki she's a great girl and I am having an hard time not to freak out right now.
Ok, sorry for the extremely long post, I hope I'll get some feedback from you guys.