Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...

Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. #1
    Bradley07 Guest

    Default Getting her before her Ex-BF does!

    So, I meet this girl on an on-line dating site and we meet the same night and I Fclose.The sex was good for both of us. She's HB8. On that date I found out that she had just broken up with her bf of 3 months one week prior. She gave me very basic info about why she didn't want him:he's stupid, rude, controlling and lives a 2 hour train ride away(i live 15 minutes away), etc. And why she liked him: he's attractive and sweet at times.

    We talked tonight and I suggested meeting this weekend. She told me she can't because she talked to her ex-bf on the phone and she is considering getting back with him and it would not feel right to her. I said I want to see her again, but we only met once so I don't care that much. I told her to contact me if she doesn't get back with this guy. She said she would.

    I can tell I'd like this girl and I want to get a chance at her. How should I go about it without seeming needy/aggressive? Our main form of communication is through texting and English is her second language, so I can't be too smooth on the phone talking live or it can go over her head.

  2. #2
    buffalosoldier90 Guest

    Default Re: Getting her before her Ex-BF does!

    Nice close

  3. #3
    SummaFelix Guest

    Default Re: Getting her before her Ex-BF does!

    Just out of a 3.5 month relationship; feelings of hate towards her ex; characterizations about her ex; fclose on same night.

    1. Her strong negative feelings towards her ex, which she is trying to minimize, along with her characterizations of her ex, which are not entirely honest, show that her ex negatively affected her and that she's not completely over him.

    2. However, her feeling comfortable enough to entertain the possibility of an emotional or sexual relationship this soon, shows us that life has jaded her, her philosophy is cynical, and she's one of those "tough and strong on the outside, soft and vulnerable on the inside" women.

    3. Your same-night fclose was largely the result of her external and internal personality. Having sex so soon externally shows the world that she's unaffected by her ex. However, she also wants the comfort of a guy, and internally, she needed those missed feelings of closeness and connection.

    4. I would say, the best thing you can do is to find out what her ex was like, and then try and REMIND her of him (in you). Listen carefully to the qualities in him she didn't like, and try and paint a picture of who this guy was psychologically. What made him so sexually fascinating to her, that she can't get over the fact that they're not together anymore? (Oh, and please, don't make the mistake of taking seriously what she tells you about her ex. I'm sure he's not a bad guy, and she only hates him because they're not together anymore).

    5. Example. I had an ex that was crazy; not hysterically crazy, but sexually crazy. She was bi, she shot porn, and she cheated on me; none of which I minded. The thought of other guys wanting my girl, and even getting off to my girl, through film or in real life, even w/o her asking me first, would turn me on. She was my toy, my doll. I constructed her, I dressed her up, I made her hot and sexy, and took great pleasure when the world enjoyed my final product. When we broke up, I lost that (relationship). It wasn't the sex I missed, it wasn't the conversation I missed, it wasn't the comfort I missed, it was the (relationship) that I missed. Even though she was not gf material (that's why we broke up), she gave me the (relationship) I wanted; (that's why we got together in the first place).

    6. Notice the mistake a subsequent gf could have made! She might have thought, mistakenly, that BECAUSE my ex had these habits, that SHE (my gf) should also not have these habits. This would inevitably lead me to break up with her and seek these habits in someone else.

    7. Instead, what YOU have to do, is find out what kind of (relationship) this girl had with her ex, why she was so drawn to the idea of being with him, what it was that he represented to her, and understand that those were POSITIVES! That's the ONLY reason she hates him; because those POSITIVES are gone from her life. If you can GIVE her those POSITIVES, without the NEGATIVES that he added to her life, then the idea of him goes out the window. (what ex?)

    8. If you really want something with her, don't just be like "awesome, fclosed." Communicate with her, and be interested in her.

    Do you know what's annoying? (1) When a girl pretends to care about you or love you, and (2) When a girl cares about you or loves you ON YOUR TIME. There's no such thing as caring and loving TOO MUCH, but just don't do it on MY TIME.

    With that said, don't (1) pretend, and if you do care about her, (2) don't do it all on HER TIME. Don't be "all up in your face" about it. LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT HOW MUCH I CARE ABOUT YOU! AM I SCORING BF POINTS? That's a turn-off, to both sexes.

    But it's okay to talk, like two people that have fun sexually, and emotionally understand and care for each other. That's a beautiful thing. As an externally tough and strong woman, she'll appreciate the "space" you're giving her. As an internally soft and vulnerable woman, she'll desire more and more closeness.

    Think of what can go wrong, and then act rationally and intelligently:

    (1) You don't give her enough closeness --> She desires more closeness --> She actively makes the effort to close the "excess" space between the two of you.

    (2) You don't give her enough space --> She desires less closeness and more space --> She actively makes the effort to increase the amount of space between the two of you.




Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts