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  1. #1
    kaytheo86 Guest

    Default So she seems interested...now what?

    Hey guys,

    I met a girl a few weeks ago at this music concert...at first I was reluctant, but by the time she had glanced over at me for the 3rd or 4th time(smiling the last time) I initiated conversation with her, and we hit it off almost immediately. By the end of the show, we were walking around the street, arm in arm while she waited for her stepmom to pick her up, and we exchanged skype sns a little bit before she left, all with my voice just about gone as a result of getting over a cold.(this worked out when I asked her what was the best way to get a hold of her when my voice wasn't completely shot...we got sidetracked a few times and I even changed the subject to see how she committed she was to giving me this info, and she did indeed go out of her way to get me her info).

    I wanted to try to get her number but she mentioned not having a working phone of her own, and mainly communicating by borrowing a family friend's cell or using the house phone(I initially thought this might be bs, but after hanging out with her again a week later, where we made out, and then having sex with her the following week, I feel like it wouldn't make sense for her to intentionally keep her number from me for that long)

    Current Situation: She's been sick recently so we've only been able to talk on skype lately..ever since meeting her I try to only talk to her every other day or every 2 days to give her enough space to miss me. We have good conversation, and she still seems to show signs of interest. Even though she doesn't express herself as much on skype, whenever we see each other(once a week usually) she tells me how much she misses me and that she would think about me alot. Even though things seem good so far, I want to be able to keep this girl interested, and keep things from fizzling out..hopefully even take thing to another level at some point since I'm actually starting to really like this girl.

    Even though I've had some success with women in the past I'm still very new at thinking of things from a PUA's perspective and have the most trouble keeping girls once I've managed to get with them. What should I do now?

  2. #2
    JonTylerDiPrince is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: So she seems interested...now what?

    Dude. Drop the every other day / every 2 days BS. You clearly like her and want an exclusive relationship with her. If I'm reading more into your situation than you agree with, then clearly you just want to string her along for sex. And if that's the case, you're already losing grip because of your antics.

  3. #3
    kaytheo86 Guest

    Default Re: So she seems interested...now what?

    Well no, it's actually the first time in awhile that I've met a girl that I genuinely like, and I'm actually hoping to eventually get into an exclusive relationship with her. But I never really know what I should be doing at this stage of the game. I always manage to hook up with these girls, but the biggest issue for me has been how to approach the situation and take it further once I'm "in" so to speak.

    In the past I'd end up worrying about whether or not I'm doing the right thing regardless of how well things would be going at the moment, and after awhile it'd start to show through my actions.

    How do I avoid this, how do you think my current actions are affecting the situation and what should I be doing instead?
    Last edited by kaytheo86; 02-23-2011 at 10:04 AM.

  4. #4
    JonTylerDiPrince is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: So she seems interested...now what?

    Quote Originally Posted by kaytheo86 View Post
    How do I avoid this, how do you think my current actions are affecting the situation and what should I be doing instead?
    Have you told her how you feel? Asked what the relationship is in her mind? Do you know whether she wants an exclusive relationship with you?

  5. #5
    kaytheo86 Guest

    Default Re: So she seems interested...now what?

    Well we've only known each other for a few weeks so I've been trying to take it day by day with her. What she has told me was that she hasn't been with anyone in awhile and she hasn't felt this way about a guy in awhile. When we do see each other(we live 45 mins apart and I go to school during the week so we tend to hang out 1 day out of the weekend), she seems significantly more affectionate than she is when we talk on skype(telling me she misses me, holding my hand and kissing it, cuddling etc.) I would tell her a little bit about I felt, but not too much at once(mostly if she tells me if she misses me or loves this or that about me, I'll respond by telling her a little bit about how I feel like I missed her too or depending how mushy the comment can get I may use a cocky-funny approach to avoid seeming too vulnerable.

    We haven't talked too much about what the relationship is to each other or what we want out of it though I've been getting some distinct "wifey" vibes from her. The only distinct clue I've gotten about it was when she mentioned that the last person she was in a 'relationship' with before me was a girl, during a conversation we had about sexual stuff. so she obviously sees this interaction as a relationship of some sort, rather than a fling.

  6. #6
    JonTylerDiPrince is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: So she seems interested...now what?

    Just tell her you think she's really cool, your interested in getting to know her better, and am curious to see if it could go somewhere, but that you're not sure it would. She may start qualifying if it seems as though you MIGHT not be interested or are unsure about her. And then she's likely to give you the indicators you need. Forget the games. Then take it slow.
    Last edited by JonTylerDiPrince; 03-05-2011 at 02:27 AM.

  7. #7
    kaytheo86 Guest

    Default Re: So she seems interested...now what?

    Thanks for the advice man. So I just started being honest to her about how I felt, and she seemed really happy to hear what I had to say. So far things have been great, and she seems really into me so far(constantly telling me about the things she loves about me either personality-wise or physically, telling me that she misses me, very affectionate etc).

    Between, the absurd amount of things we have in common(rapport to the max), me sometimes busting her chops and making her laugh(cocky funny..though I have to be careful since she's sensitive) I feel like I've been able to keep her interested though to be honest with the amount of natural chemistry we seem to have it all feels very natural. Like I never have to try to do most of these things they just happen. It's weird though; sometimes I'd vaguely mention eventually being "exclusive with her"(a la "when can I call you mine" kind of approach). She didn't say anything back responding to it directly, but would respond either by holding me tightly or kissing me really deeply.

    I know by this point that I shouldn't bring it up again and to wait for her to take the bait as things develop and I build more attraction. But what does this mean? And now that things are going good, how do I ensure that they stay that way?

  8. #8
    JonTylerDiPrince is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: So she seems interested...now what?

    I don't know that you need to keep building attraction with technique.

    And unfortunately, If a relationship is budding, you're in that difficult part where sharing your feelings is more difficult than playing chess. You're trying to make the right move, WITHOUT defeating the opponent. :-)

    Respect her totally, spice the connection up with a LITTLE hard-to-get every so often, and tell her that you don't have expectations of her, but that you "dig" her and you'd like to be able to talk about how you feel.

    By opening the door to discussion, you may telegraph feelings to her without actually saying them first. Then you can reciprocate the expression of feelings more concretely with your own words.


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