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  1. #11
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Worst Flake Ever?

    You definitely are clearly into this girl, but it was taken to a level of pure emotion rather than logical thinking.

    Men and women differ in their thought processes mainly on that level; men like to think logically and to the end point while women let their emotions do the talking and thinking. But at times, men tend to allow the emotional aspect of their minds take control. Every response here that you have updated and initially sent us (and no offense to you whatsoever) was more of a emotional reaction to her doing something (or lack of doing something).

    In the future, just think of it in a logical perspective. Her getting 3 different messages from you in 3 forms of communication would just make you seem obsessive to her, and like the other posts stated, needy. I had a girl who would facebook message me, text me 4 times at 4 in the morning saying the same thing, "hey", "hello, are you there?", "are you awake???", and, "you might be sleeping." Then after no response, she would call me 4 times in a row. It just got real annoying. Even if I wasn't sleeping and I was just preoccupied, I would of found it utterly needy and weird.

    Just take this as a learning experience. And next time you see her out at a club, don't even acknowledge her existence. Just make sure you are chatting up an gorgeous woman when she does eventually walk by. If she says hi to you, say hi back but then just turn back around and do whatever it is you were doing before she even said hi.

    Again, do not take offense to any of this post. It is simply just an observational criticism.

  2. #12
    Charrua89 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Worst Flake Ever?

    No I take no offense. In fact I welcome the criticism, enough time has passed since everything and it is letting me see everything more clearly. I completely agree with you that all of the decisions I made were based on my emotions. This whole episode is actually a blessing in disguise because it is allowing me to see my mistakes and learn from them to make me a better person and gamer of women.

  3. #13
    Pitch is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Worst Flake Ever?

    I couldn't agree more with your responses. The main thing I have learned to cure oneitus is to go sarging. You feel better when you get more numbers but more importantly talking to multiple girls at once makes it easier to freeze someone out because you still have other girls you are working with. I always say time heals all, but you really need to give this one some time. Start working on new sets, and like Mr Hyde said, when you do see her at the club, make sure you are in a set with a major HB. Do not let a girl control your emotions, take hold and be strong. Here's to your next sarge! Cheers!

    Pitch

  4. #14
    nik's Avatar
    nik
    nik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Worst Flake Ever?

    Quote Originally Posted by Charrua89 View Post
    Well just to update, I ended up seeing her from far at a club this past weekend making out eith another guy. When I first saw her I ended up turning around, trying to avoid her (1) (I know, i know real AFC) but then I decided to try and find her again and confront her (2)but she was gone. Anyway I was gonna tell her

    "really you left me for that..(than doing a fake throwing up face) u disgust me."(3)

    Because in all seriousness, I wouldn't consider myself a model but Im pretty decent looking and the guy she was with had the face of a horse.(4)

    Anyway I'm thinking of maybe sending her something on fb to tell her off but I'm not really sure if I should or what I should say.
    1. Were you more concerned with avoiding her or the guy that out-gamed you?

    2. Not a terrible idea, if done properly*. However, confrontation is not what I'm after.

    3. This would not fit under "properly".

    4. Women don't generally hold physical attraction as a high priority like men. While a factor, most women will eagerly sustitute other attributes for physical attractiveness.

    *When I approach or engage a woman who previously shot me down, whether it be from me asking her out or after we "dated" some, I have a goal in mind. That goal, for the most part, is to make her wish she was still around me and help her to see she made a mistake. Whether or not I would take her back is irrelevant. I make her feel a loss while being congenial. I want to leave her better than I found her, for her to know I do that to her, and for her to yearn for it.
    A bonus is: she'll tell her friends.
    Don't burn bridges unnecessarily.

    Example: The woman I dated in May screwed up. Even though she pulled bitch toward the end, I still speak to her when I see her out (or try to). I don't bother her, but I say, "hi" and ask her how she is doing. Until the last time I saw her out, she would literally lift her nose at me, scoff, and walk away without saying a word. Last time I saw her out, she stopped and we caught up for a bit. She mentioned she had seen me with a couple of different women. I read some jealousy in her exhibitions. A week later, I saw a vehicle that looked just like hers on the side of the Interstate. I texted her asking if she was on the Interstate. She responded back that she was. I called her and asked if she was okay and if she needed help. She was taken aback. She could hardly believe a guy she treated like sh1t would still care enough about her to call; let alone come to where she was and physically help her. Turns out, it wasn't her pulled over on the side.

    This is different than being a suckup or a pushover. When I saw her and her current boyfriend having problems, I didn't offer solace. If she really needed help, that's different. I'm not available to her for emotional comfort or routine assistance, right now or in the forseeable future. We aren't friends, nor are we enemies.
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  5. #15
    jtp156 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Worst Flake Ever?

    Man, you're not getting it. the whole point of cutting off communication is to show her you don't care. you don't go blow that by even thinking of telling her off for kissing the horse.... you don't care.

    if it happens again like that, you just walk by her while she's kissing the guy and smile. ain't no thing.

    now, assuming you haven't screwed this up more since you last posted, a decent text to get her back in the game is just to say, "Though i saw you today and almost"

    and that's it. if she's interested, she'll text back "almost what"

    if she doesn't text back you wait another 2 weeks and text her, 'heard a song and thought of you today'

    if she wants to get it rolling again, she'll text back and ask for the song...

    but my guess is that this is over. you blew it back at the beginningwhen you called, fb'ed, and texted her with no reply.

  6. #16
    jtp156 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Worst Flake Ever?

    and i forgot to say it in my long reply below, but this and the second post here are really good. these guys know what they're talking about. i meant for this to post on the first reply. the first 2 responses were good.


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