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  1. #1
    JohnNewton is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Met the girl of my dream, but then lost her. Help me get her back! (please)

    Here's my situation (may be lengthy to explain).

    So there's this girl I met last year in college after I had been single for a year but previously gotten out of a long term relationship (7 years). We met through mutual friends/organization and had/have GREAT chemistry. We became really good friends really quick and I definitely picked up on signs from her suggesting that she had feelings for me. For example, she would complain why I would ask her friends to hang out and not her or give me phone calls saving "hey im not avoiding you i promise.. and such" OR her friend admitting to me after i told her about the phone call suggesting "she has feelings for you."

    Since I had recently gotten out of a relationship, I didn't really want to pursue anything with her because she is a great girl and I could totally see myself falling for her head over heels cause we connect/connected so well. I just wanted to be single and have fun, get back on my game live the single life for a while. While all this was happening, I forgot to mention, that she had a boyfriend but they've been on a road filled with potholes and I still to this day don't understand their relationship, but that doesn't matter.

    One of our mutual friends told me "shes waiting for the right guy to come save her" indirectly suggesting me for the role. Being arrogant I didn't take much from this and continued my preferred lifestyle.

    Whenever I see her shes still really happy to see me, cause *not tooting my horn* but she knows, and her friends know, that i'm a great guy, smart, nice and talented. I can still tell the attraction is somewhat still present but now that I actually want her I dont know how to address the attraction. I find it so easy with girls i dont know but someone I have been more than acquainted with, its a freaking challenge cause its been prolonged.

    We never previously admitted to each other directly about the feelings we shared and kind of let it drag off and stop on its own till we somewhat stopped talking. School started up recently again and we saw each other, and again she had a huge smile on her face as soon as she saw me across the room and came over to say hi and give me a hug and suggested that we go out for lunch next week and that shed pick me up in her new car that shes thrilled for me to see.

    So what should I do? How do I get her back to where she was when I was too stupid to address the situation? I for some reason actually miss her and think about her randomly, yet frequently throughout the day sometimes. She is basically what I want in a girl, shes funny smart pretty intellectual and spiritual. I think she may be the perfect girl for me but I might have lost her, what do you guys think? How do I bring up what we had for each other in an non aggressive way and let her know that I am interested as well in pursuing something. It's a weird situation, but I'd REALLY APPRECIATE any advice regarding it.

    Thank you for taking time out to read this rant!

  2. #2
    JohnNewton is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Met the girl of my dream, but then lost her. Help me get her back! (please)

    Forgot to mention, the reason i say her bf doesnt matter because while we were getting acquainted and becoming good friends i brought up me hanging out and sly-ly interjecting hooking up with other girls cause she asked me how i was after the break up with my ex. And after I redirected the question at her, and she said yeah she doesn't mind if she finds a great guy, indirectly hinting at me. But i didn't want to do that because I didn't want to possibly ruin my latter approach with her because MAN I was really digging this girl and didn't want her to end up as a story I tell my friends.

    I think that about covers it all, HEELLPPP MEEEE!!!!

  3. #3
    Maestro is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Met the girl of my dream, but then lost her. Help me get her back! (please)

    Two words for you,,,,, BE BOLD! When yo go out to lunch with her don't sit across from her sit next to her. As you are talking let your leg touch hers. Let your arm brush up against hers. Touch her hair like move it out of her eyes. Keep eye contact with her and let her be the one to break it.

    And here is the part you will have to overcome the monkey chatter going on in your grey matter between your ears...Be bold and tell her how you feel about her, be genuine and authentic but not needy. Never be needy or clingy.

    Let the chips fall where they may but at least she knows where you are coming from.

    I could write more but that should be a good start for you.

  4. #4
    JohnNewton is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Met the girl of my dream, but then lost her. Help me get her back! (please)

    I understand where you're coming from, but since its been a little while where we didn't talk much you don't think I should carry out a normal lunch to judge the situation to scale? To address the level of attraction and such? I'm a confident person, but she just makes me nervous.. first time i've been presented with such a predicament and it sucks because I actually can see myself with her for a long run.

  5. #5
    Maestro is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Met the girl of my dream, but then lost her. Help me get her back! (please)

    The monkey chatter is killing you. She will see how un-confident you are because there in no congruency with your desires and actions. Just straight up tell her, that's all there is to it and let the chips fall where they may...Then go live life to the fullest everyday. I always treat everyday as if it were my last because you never know when your number is up for you to buy the farm.....

  6. #6
    JohnNewton is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Met the girl of my dream, but then lost her. Help me get her back! (please)

    hahah you had me till the farm then it went *WHOOSH* lol jk, thanks for the great advice man, i guess i was just scared to lose her as a friend too but who the eff cares cause i want her more than as a friend and don't care to settle for less. Thank you for putting it in perspective bro.

    Another question though, if you dont mind. You know the situation, you basically know most of the intricate details regarding it. How would you open/present the convo? Can't be too direct but somewhat instead its gotta me smoothly transitioned into. How would you go about it in the particular case?

  7. #7
    Maestro is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Met the girl of my dream, but then lost her. Help me get her back! (please)

    For me it is a natural flow of events so I can't give you a play by play line for line what you should say.... Go with your gut...There is a conversation ladder you need to follow. but to make it short and simple keep it real and authentic with her and for gods sake don't lie......that is the worst you can do with any girl...

    To open grab a detail she is fond about and thread off of that, when she throws that out throw it back at her but use a double entendre to get to the sexual innuendo then go from there...


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