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  1. #1
    Big421 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default This one is a challenge. Avoid the friend zone with distance.

    So, I met a girl online via some online friends about two months ago. We hit it off instantly, getting her number the next day. Since then, we've texted every day (sometimes all day long) and, after, we skype. The chemistry was heavy at first, but now it's starting to wane, sort of like the friend zone but... not quite. I'll explain more in a moment.

    Despite the pretty big distance, we have met. I was in that part of the country for a weekend and she asked me to come see her. After that, I made plans with her for new years and she took some very bad hours at work so she could spend the weekend with me. I'll be staying at her place. Because she has a small, one room apartment, we'll be sharing a bed.

    Further, I'm moving back to that part of the country on a job offer very early next year, so the distance is a temporary thing.

    However, even though these are all great signs that she's in to me, I have this nagging feeling that I'm slowly being friend zoned. Maybe you guys can help me decipher this and see if my current plan of action is right or if I should do something else.


    • She requests I text her when I wake up (she wakes up a bit earlier than I do for work). I do not always oblige. Sometimes I wait for her to text me.
    • If we have texted and I haven't responded in an hour, she will text me. Always.
    • I get mixed results when I flirt with her in texts. Sometimes she's very receptive, other times she's very unreceptive.
    • As soon as she gets on to skype, she immediately insists on me calling her. I sometimes let her wait a bit.
    • We do skype every night and I'm mixed on my feelings of this being a good or bad thing. On the one hand, I use it for rapport. On the other, it is every night and that bit of 'mystery' isn't there.

    As for the signs of it possibly heading towards friend zone territory, it's hard to explain. There are subtleties that aren't the same and I can't figure it out, but there's just that feeling.

    So, going on that feeling, I've developed a bit of a game plan until I see her on New Years. I've already begun texting her less and not responding back at the peak of these texts. I'm also going to get a new hair style tomorrow (been needing something different anyway) to maybe throw in a bit of a visual cue to go along with the change in behavior. She's also going to be out of town for Thanksgiving so I think I'm going to use that period as a time to cut almost all contact off from her to see how she reacts and to build a bit of Tension between us.

    I'd also like to know if I'm going about the texting thing right. Here are some examples of how interactions have gone:

    Her: Ugh, I just figured out how much money I'll be making from the Christmas OT and it wasn't as much as we thought.

    Me: That's a bummer. At least you'll be at the game with a hot dude.

    Her: WOOT!

    Me: I think I lucked out the best on that deal. Good food and a cutie for New Years? You kidding me?

    Her: I'm not a cutie.

    Me: As LMFAO puts it: You're sexy and you know it.

    Her: Hahahaha

    Another example:

    Me: Man this taco is so good.

    Her: I have a pink taco.

    Me: How is it?

    Her: I've been told it's pretty good.

    And after that she was home so the subject was changed instantly.

    Tomorrow, after my haircut, I plan on opening with "Damn, my hair is looking even sexier than yours." Any modifications I should make to this?

    Mainly, I have a month and a half before I see her and I need to maintain myself out of the far reaches of the friend zone until New Years. I've never had a problem quite like this before so I've come here for some advice.

    A quick note: Reading that paints it in a pretty good picture, but her behavior just doesn't quite seem the same. I could be reading too much in to it, but I don't think I am. I have a good gauge for friend zone things as I've been placed there plenty.

    ETA: She also doesn't consider me a 'nice guy'.

  2. #2
    beenderew is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: This one is a challenge. Avoid the friend zone with distance.

    you've got one-itis. make her jealous by chasing after other women in front of her. do roll offs, IOD's and disqualifiers. you also don't want to overqualify yourself. the main thing is to never let her feel like she has you. Cat String Theory. always lead the cat with the string.

  3. #3
    flyguy1990 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: This one is a challenge. Avoid the friend zone with distance.

    Recently I've hit the friend zone with a girl i liked, because i left it too late and any initial sparks of attraction faded out. We've talked and both like each other and are just gonna see what happens in the future.

    The reason I'm telling you that is because you'll know when your in the friend zone when she isn't as receptive to your texts and things, by the looks of it she is but continue as you are and in my opinion you might hit the friend zone, and trust me it sucks when it someone you actually like.

    I agree with Beenderew stick with the Cat String Theory and always give her a good chase.


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