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  1. #1
    ManUp2012 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default What's my next move if she's not interested? or is she?

    I'm a senior in college. This past December I found out one of my friends' friend had recently broken up with her bf of 3 years. I waited a month and then asked the mutual friend to Set us up so I could take her to my fraternity date night.

    Didn't have much expectations, just wanted to go and have a great time.

    Ended up being the best date i've ever been on. We talked about everything for five hours straight. Danced a sh1t ton. She was the first to kiss me on the cheek and later on we went back to my room and ended up talking more and cuddled and watched a movie. At the end of the night, she gave me a goodbye kiss when i dropped her back to her college (we go to separate schools about 15 minutes from each other).

    I called her the next day, she didn't pick up but texted me the following day saying she was sorry for not calling me back due to a test she was studying for. We chatted briefly via text. I then told her i'd be off the grid due to finals and would call her on Friday to make plans to hang out that weekend. She agreed.

    I called her. We had a pleasant conversation. I asked her if she was wanted to grab coffee soemtime..she then told me she was not ready to date cos she just got out of a relationship but wanted to hang out as friends. I wasn't sure what to say but said.."sure, let me know when you're free" and thanked her for a great date night.

    I contacted the mutual friend, told her the situation. The mutual talked to her after a week..she reported that when they brought my name up, the girl lit up and said how much fun she had. The girls asked why she wasn't chilling with me again and she responded she wasn't sure she wanted to get into a relationship. Her friends told her theres no need to rush into anything and just go out and have a fun time with him.

    The next day, we talked. SHE said we should hang out after winter break. I agreed and we ended it there.

    I contacted her 3 weeks later (made no contact whatsoever) She sounded excited to hear from me and laughed at pretty much everything i was saying. She agreed to hang out. We had to cancel a few times but SHE was the one continously offering new days and places to hang out.

    At one point, she even mentioned "if anything, we can always grab coffee and study together." I agreed, but said lets hang out thursday. I'll call you in a few days to solidify plans.

    I called her last night. e and said "I want to make it clear that I just see you as a friend and i'm not interested at all." I was taken aback..and replied, "like.. not interested ever?," she sighed and sort of chuckled and said I don't know.

    After stumbling with some words, i confidently said "look, I know you just got out of a relationship, and i'm not an idiot and I wasn't planning on going crazy the first time we hang out. But you'll see i'm an awesome guy and give me a chance to show you that i'm a great guy. lets take it slow, and just have a good time." She agreed and then offered to do a late dinner. I turned her down and said to just have a coffee and desert. I almost didn't believe what she said cos it was so extreme and random.

    it's important to understand i have not been pressuring her at all, and not been looking needy.

    But i think i completely farked myself over with what I said at the end there.

    Any help?

    This girl is remarkable. I've been on plenty of dates these past few years..and not one has come close to how great this one was.

    let me know guys.

  2. #2
    uluvtheLD is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What's my next move if she's not interested? or is she?

    Well the only thing I can gather that you did "wrong" was not build enough attraction. There was waaayyyyyy too much down time between the initial date and subsequent hanging out. Its seems this "limbo" time gave her time to "forget" about you and go back to what she initially had in her gut of "staying single".

    I wouldnt have made a laundry list of telling her why she should give you a chance....instead say something more like "I am in no rush for insta-relationships. We clearly have fun together and get along. Lets not make assumptions here, lets just hang out and have fun."

    As for turning it around. Its definitely not a lost cause. Just keep it light but definitely keep yourself on the radar more to build attraction.

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