newbie mission - first night out ever!

Hi guys,

I went out to try the 'newbie mission' last night, and figure it might be a good idea to write about it so I can try to analyze where things went right or wrong for other noobs trying the same thing.

First approach (ever):
I started just walking around looking for bars. Things were quiet so I very nervously approached a girl asking about busier places. She mentions her friends (2 guys and 1 girl) and I notice some big guy glaring at me - her boyfriend? This makes me even more nervous. I just quickly ask her if she knows where any busier bars might be. She suggests a direction and I do the whole "It was nice meeting you" and leave.

Overall she was quite nice, and seemed friendly. I see why you guys like this!

Second approach:
I'm looking for another bar and two 9s are walking in my direction. I try walk confidently and ask them if they know a good bar in this area (saying I'm new here, which is true enough since I don't know where the hell I'm going). They are very unfriendly at first, almost glaring at me lol. After I ask where a good bar is one of them gets more open and gives me directions to a 'great place'. I thank them and leave with "Nice meeting you".

I _think_ that's an example of disqualification. Once it looks like I'm just talking to them for some other reason one of them was way more open and friendly. Cool stuff!

Third approach:
Screwed up the 3 second rule, but it wasn't too bad. Nothing really interesting.

Approach 4:
A 3 set with a 9, a 7 and a guy. I ask the 9 if they know the band that's playing (I have no clue who the hell these guys are). She says that the guy knows, so I shake his hand and ask questions about the style of the band blah blah, trying to be real friendly so I can talk to the girls again. He seems nice, and I am able to talk to the 9 for a bit more but don't really have any good material yet. I just end up asking her if there is another busier bar in the area and she mentions some party down the road and touches my arm twice .

Damn, I don't even know where to go with this situation but it seems like a great start. I never spoke to the 7 but I probably should have... She was looking at me with some kind of evil eye so I just smiled.

Approach 5:
Nothing really special

Approach 6:
Again, nothing special.

Approach 7:
Inside the party is totally not my scene. Very well dressed people, lots of dancing. I am super awkward and walk around the place in circles looking like a conspicuous idiot. Finally I talk to a two-set of probably 8.5s. I just dive out of the conversation with nothing to say. Worst approach of the night.

Approach 8:
I talk to a milf who is swaying to the music away from her friends. She's maybe a 6.5 if you're into that sort of thing. I talk about how this place is kind of strange to me, and she tells me she doesn't go out much but is having fun. She seems really happy for me to be talking to her. I make the mistake of telling her that I'm staying in a cheap motel while I'm in between places. CUT!

Approach 9:
Nothing interesting

Approach 10:
Bad approach. Nothing to really learn from

Approach 11:
I spot two 9s sitting in a corner and approach with the same junk openers. We start chatting quite naturally and I'm in the set for 30 minutes! Whenever I talk to one girl the other starts looking angry or jealous so I keep swapping back and forth and it goes pretty well. After a bunch of good conversation they say they are leaving. I thank them for the convo and leave first. I should have asked for a number.

All in all it was a pretty good night! AMAZING adrenaline rush the whole night, and I'm basically over the whole breakup already because of how good it felt to just be out there making friends


tl;dr: newbie does the newbie mission. much learned, and things go better than expected.

lol oh man. ok well there is lots i can point out that wrong but lets just say what you did right. you got out there and started trying to get over Approach Anxiety. that is the best part, when you can cold approach a 2 set of HB 9-10's you set to approach almost anybody. ok well you seem to be ok with situational openers about the bar and all that but lets think about it. how many times a night do AFC's walk up and talk about the same old crap with them. you want to be fun, playful and different. i thought after reading all your approaches that you were just practicing talking to people to get over your aa. ok well first things first. you need to learn how to transition the conversation after the opener and make it fun for them to talk to you. i even felt like you were talking very monotoned thru this post. it was a little boring. so first thing to work on is holding a fun and playful conversation. after you do that you should learn about hook points, false disqualification, keno, and teasing/negging. if you can get good at putting these into your routines then you can be able to Number Close and not just go up, talk for a minute and then leave saying nice to meet you.

Thanks so much for the tips. I was 100% just trying to get over Approach Anxiety last night.

One problem is I didn't really prepare any routines, and I've spent the last 10 years studying boring crap so no help there. Going out to work on the interesting convo and maybe negging If i get comfortable enough tonight.

Peace.