Breathing

Hey guys, i'm a PUA living in Northern England and i'd like to contribute something:

You're not breathing properly.

Don't worry, most people aren't.

The average person in the western world takes shallow breaths drawing oxygen in with the muscles in their chest. When you do this you use only one third of your lungs, the top third.

Nobody likes being told they've been doing it wrong all this time but it's true. Breathing is one of the only physical functions you can do conciously or unconciously. We instinctively breathe properly as infants and forget it along the way. Children in many eastern cultures do not because they are taught to breathe properly.

So how do you breathe properly? Sitting or standing up straight and relaxing your shoulders you inhale through your nose and breathe from your belly. When you exhale you do it through your nose or mouth making sure to exhale for twice as long as it took you to breathe in. I find in for 4 out for 8 works for me but you can find your own Comfort level with it.

Now what does this have to do with pickup?

Well, think about it. You notice a set and want to open it; if you're in a bar or club the music is loud and you might have had a few drinks. You're taking frequent shallow breaths without even thinking about it. You start approach priming but you don't feel entirely comfortable. You approach and start going over your Opener in your head but you can't quite hold onto it.

In the past this problem has gotten me blown out.

And i didn't even know i was doing it!

I suffer from stress and anxiety related problems. At least i used to. Now i cope with them and use the energy they provide in a positive way which in turn reduces them. I have drastically cut down on my smoking habit and find cold approaches a hundred times easier than before.

And none of that would have been possible if i didn't learn to breathe properly.

It's challenging at first, it feels uncomfortable and unnatural. You may get dizzy as you learn this behaviour but eventually it becomes your default way of breathing. Your brain starts functioning more efficiently as does every system operating in your body. Which of course has it's other advantages down the line

Most women do not know how to breathe properly either. When they feel that low-frequency anxiety that men do in a crowded venue they make the same breathing mistakes. And they respond well to men who breathe properly without even noticing it.

It improves your health immensely and increases your life expectancy. Which means you'll be around for longer to achieve more conquests

I also meditate but you don't need to do any of that stuff to breathe properly. All it takes is a little practice and concious effort before like any other behaviour it becomes hard wired through repeated assertion. Though once you begin belly breathing and feeling the positive effects you might find you make a lot of changes in your diet and lifestyle.

When someone is about to throw a punch at you their pupils dialate because they are adrenalised from taking rapid shallow breaths. Poor breathing gives you the same appearance and women can percieve this instantly. Don't let you game be ruined by bad breathing. Or bad breath



-Zen

Zen, such an overlooked topic but especially helpful as I deal with the same anxiety-relate sticking point. Great post for those new in the game.