Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    jumburr is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 65, Level: 1
    Level completed: 30%, Points required for next Level: 35
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1
    Points
    65
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Do i bother with her

    I dont mean to blab too much on my first post but here goes.

    Met this girl last april. We were hooking up for a while and having sex. Fast forward to the fall of the next year and we were basically dating without a label for 3 months. Hookups, movies, sleeping together without sex, you name it we did it.

    Now around december she had a freak out and was a little cold to me. We had a talk and she said she was scared to date me because she was "fresh" out of her relationship and wasnt sure if she could trust me or let her guard down.

    I put fresh in quotes because she had broken up with her boyfriend (who treated her like sh1t and cheated all the time) the previous january before we met. She went to spain for the summer single but when she got back in august the ex told her he loved her and wanted to get back together. They got back together for a week and then he got a new gf and moved to florida for 6 months with her.

    So, after our talk in december i said take winter break (were in college) to think about it and if you think you can try it out with me well work on it. The next day i left to go to my friends house 4 hours away. That night she drove over to ask me out and completley surprised me.

    So we were officially dating for 3 and a half months..never fought, did all the couple type stuff. I met her parents she met mine the whole nine yards.

    Last week she acted real cold to me, not mean just distant, and i asked for a talk, we talked and she said she still wasnt over her ex, not that she wanted to be with him, but she could tell i loved her and couldnt emotionally commit with the feelings she had and we called it quits. This girl and I were completely compatible as far as our social lives went, and like i said we never fought, argued, or had a mishap. Were done now and im opting for the no contact way of getting over her but should she come to me do I act friendly?

    If she wants to get back together I cant decide if i'd even consider it. How would I know she'd be different and is it worth the trouble?

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 16,918, Level: 83
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 432
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Minneapolis
    Posts
    995
    Points
    16,918
    Level
    83
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
    Rep Power
    734

    Default Re: Do i bother with her

    First, I'm gonna say you've been handling this ok in general. Most people at this point are super whiney and get severe one-itis but you've got a pretty level head it seems

    In general yes act friendly when she approaches you. If the conversation comes up, be direct, look you hurt me, etc, so now I'm super cautious
    But you don't bring that conversation up, only if she initiates relationship talk
    Otherwise you wanna be less affected than her, you're cool, you have options, better things to do. Be nice, but let her win you back, but make sure you're friendly so she wants to win you back, just give her mixed signals sometimes (inconsistent texting and such)

    Meanwhile, if you really want to know if you should be back with her: force yourself to go out in the field, flirt, and date other people
    Date, doesn't have to be relationships, just see what else is out there. You kinda owe it to both of you, that way if you do decide it's what you want you'll be sure

    In general, she split with you so don't be afraid to go do your thing
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    Club-Ninja is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 84, Level: 1
    Level completed: 68%, Points required for next Level: 16
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1
    Points
    84
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Cool Re: Do i bother with her

    Im sorry to say it man i run into this situation so much! I find really hot girl i want start dating! I find nothing wrong with her at first and after making some moves on her you find out she doesn't want to have a relationship because of an "x". I get really frustrated when this happens! I have been even in the situation when she is just about to break up with her boyfriend hangs out with me. Then has amazing time with me and goes and dates another guy! I have even asked a female about this: What do you do when a gril isn't over her x? She says: That girl will be having that problem for quite sometime the best thing for you to do is leave her to her misery and find a girl that is read to engage in a relationship with you.

    I have to say it: This came from pretty hot girl and she was completely right!

    -Just my two cents

  4. #4
    EverythingZen is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 75, Level: 1
    Level completed: 50%, Points required for next Level: 25
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    10
    Points
    75
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: Do i bother with her

    My thoughts are she felt rejected by her boyfriend. In Dec when you appeared to be able to walk away too she came back looking for reassurance. A couple months went by and she has secured her validation that she is desirable from you so she doesn't need that anymore.

    To put it simply you made it too easy for her. After you got together there was no push and pull. This is where Cat String Theory would apply.

    The only way to handle it now is to go no contact. If she contacts you act polite but disinterested. Same way you would if a classmate you didn't know asked for help on something.

    In the meantime what everyone else said about going out and exploring your options is the right thing to do.


Similar Threads

  1. Why do people bother to post here??
    By vtran31 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 11
    Last Thread: 04-12-2011, 05:02 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com