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  1. #1
    DanielS is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default The ex of 9 months.. what's next?

    Quick version: was with the girl for 9 months. No contact for 3 almost 4 months after we broke it off. Got back in contact with her the other day. Peacocked that sh1t and told her a lot about wjat I was doing these days.(met at Starbucks for like a hour) Bragging pretty much. Mma, guitar, ect. But not everythimg. Her body posture was towards me, was constantly smileing, teased her a bit. But that could mean jack sh1t. She's still got a new boyfriend but I got a goldfish. So what's the next step? Advice.help ?

  2. #2
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: The ex!9

    First question you should always ask is what do you want. A quick lay? Get back together? Or perhaps something more malicious like revenge. After you answer that then you can go from there.

  3. #3
    DanielS is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: The ex!9

    What I want is to get.back with her. The lays follow that. No revenge needed.

  4. #4
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: The ex!9

    Ok good. Now what do you mean you have a goldfish? Well you most likely want to do a BFdestroyer. Avoid conspiracy theory which may intesify your current non-exclusive relationship. And when you talk about the past make it sound as if you wished it would've worked, but accept that things change or something along those lines. Hope this helps. Good luck.

  5. #5
    DanielS is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: The ex!9

    Ok, so i read into the bfdestroyer. That sounds like a logical plan. But how can I get another Meetup with her without her suspecting that I'm trying to get her back?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: The ex!9

    She will probably figure if you spend ANY time with her its an indication that you want her back. Going under the radar even in cold approaches is very difficult, since women will suspect a man just asking the time is hitting on her. That's what disqualifiers are for. It confuses them of your intentions and that's what builds the Tension. Go back and forth (push/pull) with your interest and soon she will be wondering if you actually want her back like she thought from the start. But be careful, if you reveal that you do want her back too early then you will be "solved" and the tension will dissipate. Best wait to say this sometime after sleeping together. Maybe even after she leaves the bf.

  7. #7
    DanielS is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: The ex of 9 months.. what's next?

    What are some good examples of disqualiers I could use? And I think i understand yhe concept of push and pull, but how do i do it without hanging out with her. If shebgonna suspect it so instantly what is there that I really can do?

  8. #8
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: The ex of 9 months.. what's next?

    Disqualifiers could be talking about other women or mentioning in a general sense that you aren't sure about an exclusive relationship with someone. Anything you can think of that will remove the idea of you being a "potential suitor." Use your best judgement because some disqualifiers can be counter productive and you should only really use them if you sense resistance from her when it comes to you. They are best on cold approaches since their main goal is to Disarm a woman to make her feel comfortable with you. Obviously you to have history and are past alot of these initial obstacles. So your main technique may have to be the BFDestroyers and disqualifiers later. Also use teasing to increase attraction and Tension. Now when you say using push/pull while not hanging out, are you referring to phone game?

  9. #9
    DanielS is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: The ex of 9 months.. what's next?

    Thanks for that last post, it clears up a lot. And yes I do mean on the phone. She was a slow texter even when we were together. And now that were not togetger its obviously slower. You've cleared up a lot for me as to what to do when were together, hut how should I actually meet up with her? Invite her to a gathering with people? A solo hangout? Or what?I feel like no matter how i do it shell realize what I'm trying to do.

  10. #10
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: The ex of 9 months.. what's next?

    Push/pull through text and phone is farely easy if you know what you're doing. And yes she will probably suspect you are up to something if you invite her out even in the most innocent sense. That's why you calibrate with any kind of IOD's. Your mixed signals will confuse her, get her wondering what your true intentions are and all the while she doesn't realize she's thinking about you more than her bf . And that is investment. You're best bet is to invite her to a gathering since this will spark the least amount of suspicion, and if you really want a challenge tell her to invite her bf and then make friends with him. This is a delicate technique so only do it if you know what you are doing. But as always this is based on the very general idea that you want your ex back and she necessarily hasn't been thinking about it. Do you know her state of mind, at the moment, when it comes to the idea of you two getting back together?


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