Hello guys, Iím somewhat new to PUA, but Iíve been in the loop for a few years, not practicing hard like I should be, but have been reading, learning and developing my own natural tendencies to be cocky and confident.
Like all of us, I can improve and want to start putting in serious efforts to become better.
I would like some advice or perhaps more so the opinions of PUAís that are more experienced than myself.
I feel that I understand the psychology of it all, but I would like conformation or help filling in the gaps.
Itís a bit of a long read, but I do appreciate you guys taking the time to read it and to give me your advice and support.
This of course starts with the break up I had with my GF of a year.
We are both 38, have no children but want them.
My X dates her childhood sweetheart at 13, marries him at 21, and divorces him at 36 (she left him)
He was mentally abusive to her and controlling and would put her down etc
She has daddy issues, she was guarded on details. But they donít talk to much now but are in limited contact.
She divorces at 36, getís her own apartment and starts seeing somebody within 1-2 months.
The guy wasnít a BF, she doesnít bring him home to mom, she dates him for 3-4 months and she calls it quits as he was a loser.
2-3 weeks later we meet for the first time at a mutual friendís house party. Sheís attractive, HB8
I run game and get a make out and number.
The relationship was good in the beginningÖ the first 5 months were great, her family said she was happy for the first time in years, and that they could see a change in her. Her previous abusive marriage had left her self esteem shattered, but I treated her right (While staying Alpha) and lifted her out of that. All of our friends could see that we were in love and that she adored me. In fact she was the one that asked me to be her BF.
We also had amazing sex as her X husband couldnít make her orgasm via intercourse, but I was the first one to do that for her. (I was the 3rd guy she slept with, so not a big surprise)
At month 5 she breaks up with me and it was a big surprise. She said she wasnít ready for a relationship and that she needed to be alone after her divorce. She had been with her X husband her entire life, and she never got that space to be alone, but maintains that she Is in love with me and is attracted to me. We get back together a week later,
We break up again at month 10, she says the same stuff, but adds in that I'm self absorbed and not a good match for her.
A few weeks go by after the split, we donít talk,..but Iím hearing from a mutual friend, that she misses me, she compliments me to her friend says she loves me, and that Iím hot, good looking, confident and a great catch etc.
She tells our friend that the day she broke up with me was a stressful day and perhaps she made a mistake, and that there was a chance we could work things out and get back together.
I ask her on a date, but she says it's a friend date and nothing will happen between us. So I game her again and we sleep togther that night, after a month of dating and sex, she comes back.
After 2 months she leaves me again lol, says all the same stuff as before, but drops the bomb that I'm going to be like her X and be controlling, which is BS. It's like she's projecting her issues and X husbands behavior onto me and acts like I will miss treat her when I never did.
When she breaks up with me she says she still loves me, but she doesn't think it's enough to make the relationship work, says we're to different and not compatiable. But wait, she says that there is a chance that we can be back together in the future. Yeah, whatever lady! lol
Here is where I'm confused. It's been a few months, we don't really talk, but share some of the same friends.
She instant messages me once a week to make small talk, but is generally distant and cold, she is sure to keep her distance and not open up to me. For the first 2 months, she Instant messaged me once a week I NEVER initiated any contact but talk to her when she reaches out. It's just lame small talk, nothing of real value.
She txt's me on Valentines day and also on my mom's B-day and wished her a happy B-day. She tells our mutual friend that she still loves me and that there's a chance we can be together again, just not right now. She even has our couples pictures on her FB, just sad.
A few weeks back her IM's become daily for 2 weeks in a row. She gets flirty, says that I have a good body and good personality, says that I'm always confident and compliments me. She asks me to lunch and I accept. I go all alpha, confident and cool.
After lunch she says she had a good time and had fun, and her body language was open. So I ask her to the movies and she turns me down, puts the wall up, backs off again. and goes to the once a week IM's
Basically, it's like she can't make up her mind, she wants to keep her foot in the door. She won't let me get close to her but she is fine with the one a week IM's
A few times recently when she was IMing me daily, I made a few attempts to initiate contact. I took 1 step forward to her every 2.
But when I would initiate, she would back off, play the game where she responds every 2 hours to my txt's messages, or be evasive and closed in our talks.
Anyhow, it's been a few weeks, I went back to not initiating contact but yet she IM's me one time weekly to say hello. WTF is this girls problem? lol
I have the idea that she is very confused, she still has feelings for me but is scared to commit due to her issues and not being alone long enough after her divorce. It's like she knows I'm a catch and doesn't want to lose me, but she wants to keep me around incase she wants to comeback.
I always have girls chasing me and she knows it, she sees what I have going on.
We also want children and she's 38, so time is ticking FAST.
It's hard because I love her very much, I do want her back but I'm not AFC about it, I know how to respect and love myself and know that I have to move forward. I've already slept with 6 women in the 4 months we have been apart, and I have 2 more in the works.
What do you all think she is trying to pull here by being closed to me, not hanging out with our social circle anymore, some of these girls were her friends before I ever met her.
She's being distant, but yet initiates contact weekly to make small talk?
..and thank you for reading