Re: Need Help Gettin' Ex Back Whacky Situation
Okay lad, heres the run down from the Finchy Express train.
I am in your shoes. I am 21, had a girlfriend 19. She cheated on me and I on her. I let her come back in my life and she cheated again. The fact is I let her walk all over me those times and also many other minor times that just made me look weak. I then tried the no contact for a month and it worked solidly. We talk like we never have done. And now i'm at your stage. Where do I go now with this? Well the thing for me is, I know that since she has walked all over me, I can't take her back. Trust me, I would if I knew I could trust her. The fact is I can't. So I decided to not carry it on any further. Now this is where you come in. If I was to carry on, I would try this:
No more no contact. I would man up and talk to her. And when I do talk to her, I would only ever talk to her as a friend would and always try and end the conversation first - not out of spite, but out of the fact I am busy. By doing this I am allowing my ex to fear the loss of me being with her and accept the fact I am moving on. Once your ex realises your moving on. She will want to try and make something work. This is your key.
Make her realise you are moving on. To do this however, you have to move on. Or at least try your best. If you can do this then she will sense this and suddenly lose control. It's all about control. Play her around. Push / pull with her. Flirt now and then but keep a platonic vibe. Meanwhile find other people to talk to, party with, girls to smile and flirt with. Get pictures on your facebook.etc, new fun statuses. This will drive her wild.
The last thing for you to think about is that attraction is not a choice, nor is love. People will give you advice and it makes perfect logical sense, but no advice is perfect when you have feelings for someone. So take advice with contemplation but nothing as what you should do solidly. Talk to people you know about what your going through. Let them give their advice and contemplate it. You will eventually build the big picture and whilst talking to your ex as a friend and making her realise you like her but are moving on then she will want to make something happen.
Hope this helps.
Work hard, Play hard players! Oh and Man up, girls like men.