Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1
    Wilson90 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 276, Level: 5
    Level completed: 52%, Points required for next Level: 24
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    31 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    22
    Points
    276
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    14

    Default Need Help Gettin' Ex Back Whacky Situation

    So me an this girl had been dating for about 2 years. Her friends, some of them really do not like me too much because of things she has told them about me that weren't really true, it was just because she was mad at me and so her friends thought we fought all the time and they really don't care for me. We had been on and off about 4 legit times. She is the absolute first girl that I have EVERY fell in love with. I'm 21 & she is 21. During our relationship, she has cheated on me with 3 guys. The first one went on for 7 months during our relationship when we first started dating. Until I found out about it. 2nd one, we got back together and she cheated on me with some guy at the bar she works with... broke up, she dated him, didn't like him, I called her told her I missed her & we got back together, later down the road then she cheated on me when she went to spring break with her roommates when she promised she wouldn't. We broke up and haven't talked for about 2 months. She tried talking to me BUT I couldn't talk to her, I was really mean to her and said I didn't want anything to do with her. I hated her for what she did to me. So about 3 days ago. I found myself missing her a lot. I text'd her and talked, and then asked her if I could see her. She came to see me... We talked, had sex, and that was it.

    Let me tell you a little about why I love this girl so much... Okay, I KNOW I KNOW. I get it all before. WHY RIGHT? Well I never grew up having a mother or that figure... and when I met this girl... She basically took care of me, any time I needed anything, she was always there for me, she always wanted to wash my clothes, clean up after me, help me out with something. She always wanted to pay for me and go out. She always gave me money for whatever I needed. Etc. She helped me out A LOT and did A LOT of things for me. & she was the coolest person! She was an awesome girlfriend! I loved her! She loved me! She always filled me up with joy every time we hung out. She has an awesome outgoing personality! I've done so much for her than any other girl. It still puzzles me to this day why she did so much for me and gave me so much money and still cheated on me. Anyways.

    So I'm leaving the college that we both live at for good in about a week. I will never see her again because we both live like 91 miles apart unless I or she drove to see me. So I talked to her on the phone today and told her that I wanted her to come see me after work today and she told me no. She said she doesn't want to look like a stupid idiot running back and dropping everything for me... So as we were on the phone we both were crying and she was saying she doesn't want to get feelings caught up again because she has fucked up so bad in the past and she knows it would never work out. I asked her if she had the letters I ever wrote her back in the past when we were together... she read them to me and then she started crying and said she had to go... We haven't really talked since them...

    So my question is... Is it possible to get this girl back? Don't tell me about why would I want to since she did this and did that? I just want to know... Is it possible to get this girl back?

  2. #2
    easyflow is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,290, Level: 19
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 10
    Overall activity: 18.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    139
    Points
    1,290
    Level
    19
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    61

    Default Re: Need Help Gettin' Ex Back Whacky Situation

    Anything is possible dude.

    Go online and research "How to get my ex back". The first thing you will read about is NO CONTACT. That is the first step.

    DO NOT go and have sex, it will ruin all chances. The first love is great, the first heart break sucks, (actually they all do, not just the first).

    GO NO CONTACT

  3. #3
    Wilson90 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 276, Level: 5
    Level completed: 52%, Points required for next Level: 24
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    31 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    22
    Points
    276
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    14

    Default Re: Need Help Gettin' Ex Back Whacky Situation

    But I have done the thing "No Contact" I did it for about 2 months... and during that time, we both have been with other people and seeing other.

    So I text'd her "Hi" and she said "Hi?" and then I told her I still think of her even with other people, and she said she feels the same... and then we went and seen each other and that when we just talked for a while and ended up having sex. After that I walked her to her car and I said by and kissed her and man... I loved that kiss, it was so passionate and had so much feeling behind it for the both of us... and then the next day I called her and we were talking and I basically was begging her to come see me and she kept saying no, no, no, I'm not about to make myself seem like a idiot in front of my friends and everyone else running back to you. So I said fine. after that we just kinda talked and had a good conversation and hung up. and then like 8 hours later I text'd her a picture of her that I took to remind her of the good times and we had a little laugh and that was it.

    So what should I do?

  4. #4
    Finchy is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 1,263, Level: 20
    Level completed: 63%, Points required for next Level: 37
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Southampton
    Posts
    87
    Points
    1,263
    Level
    20
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    60

    Default Re: Need Help Gettin' Ex Back Whacky Situation

    Okay lad, heres the run down from the Finchy Express train.

    I am in your shoes. I am 21, had a girlfriend 19. She cheated on me and I on her. I let her come back in my life and she cheated again. The fact is I let her walk all over me those times and also many other minor times that just made me look weak. I then tried the no contact for a month and it worked solidly. We talk like we never have done. And now i'm at your stage. Where do I go now with this? Well the thing for me is, I know that since she has walked all over me, I can't take her back. Trust me, I would if I knew I could trust her. The fact is I can't. So I decided to not carry it on any further. Now this is where you come in. If I was to carry on, I would try this:

    No more no contact. I would man up and talk to her. And when I do talk to her, I would only ever talk to her as a friend would and always try and end the conversation first - not out of spite, but out of the fact I am busy. By doing this I am allowing my ex to fear the loss of me being with her and accept the fact I am moving on. Once your ex realises your moving on. She will want to try and make something work. This is your key.

    Make her realise you are moving on. To do this however, you have to move on. Or at least try your best. If you can do this then she will sense this and suddenly lose control. It's all about control. Play her around. Push / pull with her. Flirt now and then but keep a platonic vibe. Meanwhile find other people to talk to, party with, girls to smile and flirt with. Get pictures on your facebook.etc, new fun statuses. This will drive her wild.

    The last thing for you to think about is that attraction is not a choice, nor is love. People will give you advice and it makes perfect logical sense, but no advice is perfect when you have feelings for someone. So take advice with contemplation but nothing as what you should do solidly. Talk to people you know about what your going through. Let them give their advice and contemplate it. You will eventually build the big picture and whilst talking to your ex as a friend and making her realise you like her but are moving on then she will want to make something happen.

    Hope this helps.

    Finchy x
    Work hard, Play hard players! Oh and Man up, girls like men.

  5. #5
    Wilson90 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 276, Level: 5
    Level completed: 52%, Points required for next Level: 24
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    31 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    22
    Points
    276
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    14

    Default Re: Need Help Gettin' Ex Back Whacky Situation

    Finchy! Excellent advice. I wish I had read it sooner but I left the computer. Let me keep you up to date about something. & This probably made me seem like a complete idiot and give her all the control. But I seen her the next day because I asked her to see me. She came to see me... she was a little drunk and I wanted to talk about us to her but she was a little out of her mind so it was not helping. We ended up having sex. I helped her move her things and she left... After that my emotions got SO TIED up and I could not control myself. I kept texting her "Don't give up on me" "I love you" and kinda just telling her how good of a girlfriend she was too me. We ended up having like a 2 hours conversation & that was great! We fell asleep on the phone together hahaha. Talk about middle school and high school right? But anyways. The phone conversation was about how we both wish that one of us should have talked to the person sooner and we wouldn't be here. We talked about how we missed each other and etc. & Today I seen her and I was really emotional, I couldn't get over that fact that she would not giving in to me. I gave her a card that I bought her talking about us starting over and putting the past behind us and we hugged and kissed and I know she still loves me. So I was in her room helping her move the last of her things BEGGING her to stay with me tomorrow night and she kept saying "I'm not saying yes, and I'm not saying no" and I kept saying why? why? please? and she finally just said no. But I don't get it... Every time I want a kiss and a hug, she kisses me and hugs with so much passion. Even on her own as well she does this. She then said too me, She doesn't want to date someone who she needs to take care of. She said she wants to see me work my ass off, get my sh1t together and do what I need to do, which basically she said she wants to see me drive a reliable car and have money to go out & pay my own bills. So I finally asked her if she was seeing someone and she said yes. He's a 28 year old teacher. He has a lot to offer her. She met him at her job, she's a bartender btw. I'm so jealous because ONE big problem she didn't like about me is I had no reliable car and no job. But that was only when we were dating the first half of our relationship. I did end up getting a job but I always threw my money into my car & never into her as much as she wanted. So I feel that I screwed myself over, I stopped talking to her "hoping" she would talk to me and in the beginning of this "No Contact" she tried to talk to me like the first week but I was mean to her, 2 months later, I wanted to talk with her and get back together but its too late. I'm farked I feel!

    Here's a little background about her: It's crazy because I feel the only reason why she is telling me no is because she found someone new and better. This has also happened in the past, she left me for someone that she met at the bar (where she works) and didn't end up liking him and got back with me. When we first started dating, she was dating some guy while screwing around and seeing me. I never knew this until in the middle of our relationship. Every guy she has ever dated she has cheated on... Including me. I had it the worst, she lied and cheated on me for more than 90% of our relationship! But I lover her! IDK WHAT DO TO?!? I want this girl in my life. I want to give us another shot.

    & OMG. THIS IS NOT LIKE ME! AT ALL Usually I'm like an asshole. I'm generally a pretty cool guy. A lot of girls like me. A lot guys kinda envy me ina way. Everyone thinks I have the coolest personality. I'm usually cool laid back and outgoing at the same time. I never chase and put pressure on women. If it's done, it's done. But this time I can't I don't know why I'm acting this way! I never do this! I feel like I'm being a psycho begging her and basically on my knees asking her just to spend time with me... Wtf? Why am I this way... I'm I pushing her away? I'm I too late?

    So today after she was leaving she basically was kinda a bitch too me because I wouldn't let her leave. I didn't want her to but she had things to take care of... and she was hugging me & kissing me. As she pulled away she had to make a U-Turn to get outta the parking lot and she had to drive past me and again, I waved her to stop and she rolled down the window. I gave her a BIG KISS and she kissed me back and oh man I loved that! & Then I told her "I loved her so much" and kinda started to cry. (Wtf? I never do this, I'm no whimp... I'm acting crazy) So she left & I texted her this:

    Me: You fund somene better than me... so you're just going to drop me like I'm nothing?

    Me: The worst thing you can do too me is walk away from me while I'm standing here waiting for you?

    Then I called her like 2 hours later. No answer

    Me: I'm sorry I waited too late to talk to you! Please stay the night with me on Wednesday? That's it!

    Back to story... What am I doing? Did I fark up? Do I seem crazy? Is it too late? Out of everything I just said. About me being crazy, about her being a cheater, about her dating another guy with better things than me, about her still hugging and kissing me and seeing me(that has to mean something right?), about this whole situation. Give me input on everything I just said. Also... Is it too late to "No Contact" Did I blow everything?

  6. #6
    Finchy is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 1,263, Level: 20
    Level completed: 63%, Points required for next Level: 37
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Southampton
    Posts
    87
    Points
    1,263
    Level
    20
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    60

    Default Re: Need Help Gettin' Ex Back Whacky Situation

    Ok buddy,

    I understand what you're going through. My ex still kissed me, said she loved me.etc. It felt like something was there, but really nothing seem to have worked to get her back in my life. I also had been a bit cheeky and stole her facebook password. After looking at her conversations, they destroyed me. I got a glimpse at how she felt when she wasn't around me. It sounds extremely similar to your ex and so this is what I discovered.

    She was with someone that could drive, had a job. She was only seeing him, nothing obvious for me to find out without knowing her password. She was also dirty talking to other guys and regularly meeting up with her ex ex for sex whilst seeing him. It became apparent to me that she is indeed one of those girls that will keep 'orbiters' around. Basically people she can rely on when things get tough for her whilst she finds the right guy.

    You my friend, are one of those orbiters. I'm sorry I had to say it. I am too. Your ex will always care for you in the hopes of having a fall back if this new relationship fails, which it most likely will. My ex acted this way until no contact happened. But she still didn't text me or call me. So I started the convo. But this time, instead of asking for her back, I acted like a friend. I acted like I had someone else, which I did. I never made it obvious, but she started putting xxxx's down and giving me lovely messages about how I was doing, I would reply with a shorter less lovely message but in a friendly way.

    This massively has caused loss in her mind. She will no longer view me as under her grip. I am a free man and I will not let that bitch control me no matter what. And this is what you need to do. You need to be your own man. Take control for yourself. I know it sounds hard, and it takes energy which if im correct you will feel like you don't have enough of to actually go down that road. You are probably feeling like if you don't do something now, then she will love him and that's it. Game over. But you need to become a man again. Women wants men that are in control of themselves and not led by anyone, especially the woman in question.

    The message you sent me, it was obvious that you were far too needy. You tried, but now it is time for you to change your Mindset. It will take energy, effort but with time you will change it. Go to the gym and really strive for your goals there. Your ex is but simply a chemical reaction in your brain, like an addiction. You beat addictions by replacing that feeling with the same feeling from a different source. Take this through exercise. Trust me pal.

    Finchy x

    P.s. I beg you man, if you really want any hope of this girl being in your life despite what she did to you. Then don't be like her ex's, stand up and be the man she wish she could have again. There is a reason why her ex's are her ex's, don't be one of them. Leave her, forget her, and watch her come crawling back to you.

    P.s.s. More importantly, find another woman! It helps dude.
    Work hard, Play hard players! Oh and Man up, girls like men.

  7. #7
    Wilson90 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 276, Level: 5
    Level completed: 52%, Points required for next Level: 24
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    31 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    22
    Points
    276
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    14

    Default Re: Need Help Gettin' Ex Back Whacky Situation

    Thank you Finchy. I needed to hear that. Yesterday I text'd her asking her to see me, have sex with me one last time, talk to me etc. (no response) Then later that day I seen her car driving and I called her twice (no answer) and texted her that I seen her & stuff. She then texted me...

    Her: I'm not going to see you and say goodbye to you tomorrow, it wont be good for the both of us. Let time pass.

    Me: I don't know why I'm acting like this. It's obsessive and crazy. If you don't want to say bye to me tomorrow, fine. Thank you for saying this.

    ... and god that sucks... reading that text basically told me that she has full control over me and she knows it! & I NEVER act like that

    So Finchy! I'm not going to say anything at all anymore... I'm going to try really hard to forget about her... and meet new women. I've already done enough and made it seem like I can't live without her. The way I acted she probably doesn't even want anything to do with me by the sounding of her last text and not responding to me (which sucks). So I'm just going to focus on getting my car and working a lot and just focus on me for now. Thanks for the advice man.

  8. #8
    Finchy is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 1,263, Level: 20
    Level completed: 63%, Points required for next Level: 37
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Southampton
    Posts
    87
    Points
    1,263
    Level
    20
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    60

    Default Re: Need Help Gettin' Ex Back Whacky Situation

    Buddy, you are a star!

    I know it won't be easy. But if it was easy, then it wouldn't be worth it. Don't be her orbiter man. I'm proud of the fact you are going to meet new people. At times man it will be hard, and if you ever need a helping chat before doing anything you would regret, feel free to give me a heads up on here.

    Finchy x

    P.s. Pm me if you want to add me on facebook or something man
    Work hard, Play hard players! Oh and Man up, girls like men.


Similar Threads

  1. Back to Back Fucked up dates
    By PAPAWOLF1 in forum Isolating And Pulling
    Replies: 6
    Last Thread: 06-06-2013, 09:49 PM
  2. Got a LJBF a while back, have to get back
    By milankoko in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 05-23-2012, 02:21 AM
  3. back. giving back.
    By vcwriter in forum New Member Introductions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 04-24-2012, 12:36 PM
  4. URGENT HELP needed with no text back situation!
    By puapitbull in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 02-25-2012, 10:51 AM
  5. What's your take on my situation?
    By tadejsusta in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 22
    Last Thread: 01-10-2010, 09:03 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com