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  1. #11
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: broke up after 4 yrs, need some help

    either mate if its with your ex then you win and if its not you move onto some one better, you win. You win everytime. I know its hard and stuff im going through the exact same. I dont follow my own advice at all lol! I like to follow others you see.

    I know and i feel the same want to give it another go if it comes around.

  2. #12
    mustang06 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: broke up after 4 yrs, need some help

    well good luck to you, like i said its hard to follow our own advice, i know what i need to do, but its extremely hard, especially when she calls, i give too much of myself to her. we are in the same boat, and i can appreciate that. the best advice is just to do your own thing and not "wait" for it to happen, but if it happens, be at the point wheere you can decide if you still "want" it to happen

  3. #13
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: broke up after 4 yrs, need some help

    Yep like the saying dont watch the kettle boil isnt it lol. Good luck to you also man. Hopefully ive been helpful in some way lol.

  4. #14
    mustang06 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: broke up after 4 yrs, need some help

    thank you, sometimes, it actually takes someone in your shoes to help you through something. i am always one to admit when something is hard, i wont lie and say its easy losing someone you love. it sucks and some days i do just wish everything was back to "normal" but right now i just have to do me, and if it happens it happens, dont sit around waiting for it

  5. #15
    FauxPas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: broke up after 4 yrs, need some help

    Hey mustang06, FauxPas here. Boy, I'll bet you were hoping I wouldn't chime in! Ha, ha! First off my condolences to you and your family, and I hope your brother kicks his cancer to the curb and has complete remission! And as far as your ex I know it hurts tons! However, you are reinforcing her bad habits. Cut her completely off. The one thing I know about women is this: When they decide to break up, they have been thinking about it for a long time, a long time! They have been talking to friends, family and co-workers, actually everyone she has come in contact. The only person she hasn't talked to is you. Once she makes up her mind thats it. However she might go back and forth because she's scared to make the decision, she'll waver. She might be looking for you to do that one thing to push her over the edge so her decision now looks right. It sucks to be the one that's being dumped. I'm guessing she is still a girl, under age 25 to me is still a girl not a woman. Utilize this break up to your advantage, to your betterment like you have. Make yourself into the man you want to be, not what some woman wants. You are the prize, they are lucky you have allowed them into your life! I'm sure there are plenty of guys here with some excellent ideas also. Feel free to contact me. Good luck, and good vibes. Ciao, FauxPas.

  6. #16
    mustang06 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: broke up after 4 yrs, need some help

    Quote Originally Posted by FauxPas View Post
    I'm guessing she is still a girl, under age 25 to me is still a girl not a woman. .
    she is actually going to be 29 in august, but i know what you mean, like i said earlier, i made an epiphany yesterday, why am i allowing her to use me as a cushion, i dont have to be there, even if i want to. i am going to use this time to do my thing, and if she calls to start back with us them so be it, but i wont be sitting around waiting for it

  7. #17
    FauxPas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: broke up after 4 yrs, need some help

    Mustang06, FauxPas here. Kudos to you! You are forging yourself into one hell of a man, congrats! Good luck, and good vibes. Ciao, FauxPas.

  8. #18
    mustang06 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: broke up after 4 yrs, need some help

    Quote Originally Posted by FauxPas View Post
    Mustang06, FauxPas here. Kudos to you! You are forging yourself into one hell of a man, congrats! Good luck, and good vibes. Ciao, FauxPas.
    thanks man, i know it will be hard, it has been, so far as i said i have been able to not call her, at all. i have allowed her to call me, but i realized what a mistake it has been, because i was still "there" everyday for her, i just figured her calling was her not really wanting to be broken up, and just taking some physical space but still wanting me around, but i was wrong. i love her and do want to have her back, but i need to move forward first and be me, do me, and let her realize what its like to not have someone important to you around. i hope that last part didnt come off as me being a dick, but its true to a point i guess

  9. #19
    mustang06 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: broke up after 4 yrs, need some help

    so me again, anyway i took some advice, basically decided to "ignore" her for a bit. anyway, monday morning i started, didnt answer first call, then 20 minutes later i get another call, which i didnt asnwer! felt good actually. problem was, she followed second call with a text, saying why arent you answering me with a sad face, i responded and said "sorry, just busy at work" and ill call you back, never actually did though. anyway she proceed to show frustration that i didnt answer, obviously, knew that would happen, but we went back and forth with a few texts for like 10 minutes, then i just kind of left it after her last text. then after work she texts again saying" are you mad at me" i said no why, she tried calling but i didnt answer, apprently phone hasnt been working for a few days, intermittently, confirmed by another friend. so i called back and we talked for a few minutes. she said she had called the night before so we could go out for a bite to eat, so i said sorry never got the call but maybe one day this week.

    anyway, my point now i guess, what are girls crazy?!?!? ignore them for 1 day and she gets all worried im mad or something? i really still have much to learn, kind of kicking myself though because i am curious to see her. today she called me this morning, and i answered, without even realizing unfortunately, and we discussed possible dinner tonight. i said i would call back, had to get back, had to get back to work. fast forward to after work, i text her about dinner, she said she had already eaten and seemed annoyed i didnt call sooner, so i said maybe coffee, and she said would rather have dinner with me. maybe another night, i said no problem. only mistake i made was saying i miss her, and then ended the conversation.

    why do we screw up like this, i really feel like she still has feeling and wants it to work, i mean she still calls me by my "pet" name she made up for me. how do i go about ignoring her calls without seeming like a jerk. whats the right way to do it.

  10. #20
    FauxPas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: broke up after 4 yrs, need some help

    Mustang06, FauxPas here, what do you hope to get out of this board. Are you interested in PUA? Have you a favorite PUA book? Has the book helped in your PUA development? What I'm sensing is this girl has you wrapped around her finger and at her beck and call. Mentally you are still very much connected to her. Your posts reflect that to me. HOWEVER, I have been wrong on my reads of people in the past, thus I'm here! Good luck, and good vibes. Ciao, FauxPas.


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