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  1. #1
    englishman99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default GF is away on trip and possibly cheating

    My gf has been away for 3 wks and will be returning in 10 days. Since she left we have had limited contact. She was not responding to texts, voicemails and rarely calling. 6 months before she was caught flirting with a guy from her home country by her sister and she immediately stopped all communication.

    I have found out from her brother that they caught her hanging around this guy there and they actually confronted him because he is a stranger in the small community and a known drug dealer and user.

    My gf and I have been together 2 yrs. We just got a house together and were talking about babies and marriage. I have tried not to call her or text. I did well for a couple days and she started calling me and was saying she missed me and loved me etc.

    Since she got caught being with this guy (i do not know if they have physically been together or not) she has not contacted me at all. For the 3 weeks that she has been there, she has avoided skype etc.

    I have decided not to confront her about it especially while she is there. I don't want her to end it and then say she slept with the guy after we were broken up. If she actually cheats then I don't want to give her that OUT.

    I have decided that for the remainder of her trip that I won't contact her unless she contacts me first. I sent her some nice emails (a bit mushy) and have had no response. It seems I got more response by ignoring her.

    I am wondering if I should post something on my FB status, or anything that might get a reaction from her. I have not let on that I know a thing. I love this girl A LOT and wish there was something I could do to stop her but I am 5000 miles from her and not able to go there. And I also know that stopping someone from doing it doesn't matter, it is the fact that they want to do it that matters.

    Any tips are greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    pwonager is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GF is away on trip and possibly cheating

    Sounds like you're in deep shit, obviously your gf is having a good time with other dudes.

    I suggest you do the same, go sarge some women, have fun.

  3. #3
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GF is away on trip and possibly cheating

    Hey man, I know where your at right now. This is gonna be hard for you to do, but you have to. Go no contact immediately. Have some respect for yourself and freeze that chick out. Don't reward her bad behavior because she's walking all over you. Take this time to learn the game inside out. Letting her chase while you maintain your composure. This will give you your power back. Be mysterious, don't respond to her. Let her do all the chasing. Soon, she won't be able to stand it anymore. When that day comes you will be able to decide whether you want her or not. Good luck!

  4. #4
    dyson is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF is away on trip and possibly cheating

    I'd stop talking to her immediately..wait to confront her in person. It will be harder for her lie when your right there looking at her.

    I'd leave her asap if she was cheating.. It might be hard but keeping her around will just prolong the pain.

    Good luck bro, and this is just my personal way of handling these situations so make your own decision in the long run!

  5. #5
    englishman99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF is away on trip and possibly cheating

    I just got a call from her after 2 days....I am not calling her at all. I really thought about not answering. She actually told me some of the details of what I had already heard from her brother. Her version of course....I did not let on that I knew anything and just kept my cool about everything. I agree she is walking on me like a freaking carpet right now...

    She is heading home in 9 days and will be leaving there in 3-4 days. Not sure what effects Freezing Her Out will have at this point.

  6. #6
    englishman99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF is away on trip and possibly cheating

    So ya she said that there is a guy there who was "courting" her (their term) and her family does not like the guy. I just told her that I know she is a beautiful woman and that guys are naturally going to try to court her but after living together for a couple years it is not like we are dating i tried to make it light...so I just said that I hoped that she would respect me and respect our relationship.....She said that she would.....I agree that the truth will come out once she gets home and if she did cheat then for me that will end it. If you have no trust then you have nothing.

    She said she will call back later.....not sure if I should answer or not. I don't want her to get a seed in her mind that maybe after our conversation I decided to go out and then she in some evil demented way twists it in her head to justify that she have a fling with this guy.

    I also spoke to her brother and he feels that the guy wouldn't dare try anything after the way he was confronted by him and his family and his own family. He said the guy was scared shitless. Where there is a will there is a way though and from what I can gather a lot of this is being driven by her.

  7. #7
    roland777 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GF is away on trip and possibly cheating

    I'm relatively new to the forum but I see too many guys ignore advice on here and hit the pavement fast. It doesn't matter if you DO want her or DON'T want her...you need to walk away right now....freeeeze her out...

    she gets back everything might seem like it's normal but this stuff might end up haunting you for years to come....been there done that...

    you can save the relationship but u gotta walk....ur gonna hurt yourself in the long run if she knows u put up with sh!t like this.....

  8. #8
    englishman99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF is away on trip and possibly cheating

    hi guys, thanks for the advice....

    this is a freaking nightmare. her and i have a house together. we moved in 10 days before she left.

    it is obvious to me that she is cheating to some degree there. jeez she just asked me on fb not to tell her family that she might grab a hotel for a couple days!!!!!!! when i questioned her on why....she got pissed.

    not sure if its too late for the Freeze Out or how i should implement it. i have no proof but a heck of a pile of stinking circumstantial evidence and for the past 6 days she is treating me like sh1t.

    not dumping her on fb after being together and living together 2 years but seriously thinking about not being here when she returns. working on exit strategies even though i love her so much....fu@kkkkkkkk!

    any advice greatly appreciated.
    Last edited by englishman99; 06-12-2012 at 10:31 PM. Reason: forgot to add something

  9. #9
    shiznewski is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF is away on trip and possibly cheating

    Englishman, i agree with roland. I am no expert, hell i'm barely a rookie, but people have suggested the Freeze Out, and you haven't done it. The people here are really friendly and offer sound advice, and quite frankly i believe they know what they are talking about. I can't offer much advice other then, take what they are saying to you and implement it.

    Good luck.

  10. #10
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GF is away on trip and possibly cheating

    Quote Originally Posted by englishman99 View Post
    hi guys, thanks for the advice....

    this is a freaking nightmare. her and i have a house together. we moved in 10 days before she left.

    it is obvious to me that she is cheating to some degree there. jeez she just asked me on fb not to tell her family that she might grab a hotel for a couple days!!!!!!! when i questioned her on why....she got pissed.

    not sure if its too late for the Freeze Out or how i should implement it. i have no proof but a heck of a pile of stinking circumstantial evidence and for the past 6 days she is treating me like sh1t.

    not dumping her on fb after being together and living together 2 years but seriously thinking about not being here when she returns. working on exit strategies even though i love her so much....fu@kkkkkkkk!

    any advice greatly appreciated.
    My advice is to no contact her immediately. It's the only way to heal and also the only way to get her back. Ice her down for one month. If she breaks contact give her little breadcrumbs but not the whole sandwich! Make her chase and you will reap the benefits either way my friend.


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