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  1. #1
    GoatMcGoaterson is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need advice with recent Breakup

    I've been reading up and utilizing PUA stuff on women like cocky/funny to get numbers and dates. I've never really used it to be a "pick up artist", whatever that is exactly. I got to the point that I could get dates with girls fairly easily and finally got into a relationship with one that I really liked. She's a younger Persian girl and I'm a 25 year old white guy.

    I've had no problems, to this point, of keeping my girlfriend and maintaining an alpha position in the relationship. She was always willing to do whatever I wanted to do and interested in the things I was interested in. Never went beta mode at all except to tell her I love her and want to be with her. I was very satisfied with the relationship.

    The recent Breakup:
    After just getting home from an event with her she catches me totally off guard with what I think is a Sh1t Test. I had just downed a bunch of beers and was playing a video game when she called me telling me that she is "upset" that my facebook profile relationship status was set to private and she couldnt see it from her friend's profile. Hence you couldn't tell I was in a relationship by looking at my status it just said nothing. Of course, if you scrolled down you could easily see all of her posts and surmise that she was my girl very easily.

    She questioned me about it suspecting that I was cheating or trying to cheat on her. I simply told her the truth that a couple months back I was tampering with my privacy settings and I' rather not let everyone know about all aspects of my life on facebook. The relationship status I set so that only close friends and family could see it. Now, if I wasn't boozed up I would have kept my cool and everything would have been fine probably but I went no balls beta on her. I got mad and when she said she didn't want to see me like we had planned and told her maybe we shouldn't see each other at all anymore. I set my relationship status to single and hung up on her, called her back and told her it's over. I immediatley regretted my decision in my inebriated state and called her to apologize. At this point she FLIPPED HER sh1t and told me to never farking call her again and she never wants to see or talk to me again. She deleted me and blocked me from facebook.

    This is where I went total AFC Beta mode and I started calling her and begging her to talk to me and call back. I couldn't control my emotions and I started crying like a bitch and calling/ texting her. I told her I was going to drive to come see her. I told her I loved her too much to let her go. Blah blah, you get the picture. I probably called her about 20 times and texted in 2 nights without a word from her. Yeah, I know, not good.

    I called her one final time to tell her that I wasn't actually going to see her and I apologized yet again and told her that if she wants to talk to call me. That was yesterday.

    At this point I'm open to any advice really, I know it's not likely that I'm going to see her again but I don't want to just write it off completely because

    1. I was her first sexual relationship
    2. She's never been with a dominant guy like me before
    3. I know she still has feelings for me after 8 months of being my woman
    4. I didn't cheat on her
    5. I still love her(Yes I know, you see this all the time, but it's true)

    So what do you think? Did I go too beta? What if I just alpha again? Think she'll call in a week or month? Should I just move on? Thanks for reading all of this and any advice is much appreciated.

  2. #2
    pwonager is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need advice with recent Breakup

    holy fucking fuck, you went super AFC on her. FORGET HER man it's over.

    She no longer sees you as a man, you might as well be a girlfriend to her now.

    I suggest you go out, and meet new women. That's the best way to get over shit like this.

  3. #3
    GoatMcGoaterson is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need advice with recent Breakup

    Sucks man. Too much liquor and I can't hold my shit. Just one time and it's all down the drain. Not blaming the liquor though, it's my fault. Don't suppose trying to contact her in like 2-3 months would do anything? Yea, I get it. Time to move on.

  4. #4
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need advice with recent Breakup

    I'm sure many of us have been there. And some of your behavior I actually don't think is beta at all. Telling a woman you love her is actually ALPHA. As long as you don't say it 20 times a day while she says it twice lol. Showing the willingness to emote is actually an attraction switch if you haven't already known. It also helps with building rapport which is a level of a relationship all men should strive for when it is a woman they want to be with in an LTR.

    It seems a bit extreme for her to be upset with something like this in the first place, but such is the way things happen with inexperienced women. In a way these are the types of women you marry. But that's another story. And yes you have went full beta on her when you called and begged for her back. You basically reinforced her behavior of breaking up with you and it's very unlikely she would take you back now. BUT.....you doing this to her can actually be a GOOD thing. Sounds weird right? Well check this fruit for thought.....

    By doing all this begging and crying the next step you have to do is go COLD TURKEY. Absolutely NO contact. Be glad she took you off facebook because for the next 3 weeks you don't want to see what is on her wall. This may prompt you to contact her and that you do not want. Over these next few weeks you will talk to other women to get your mind off of her. You don't have to sleep with any of them if you don't want to, but try to make a connection so you won't show that behavior to your ex again when she contacts you.

    It sucks to not be understood which I'm sure that's how you feel with your ex. You are going to have to get used to being misunderstood and just let it go. During this time you are not contacting her she will wonder why you aren't calling 20 times a day and crying and begging. She will begin to feel she LOST you and since you are her first, you better believe she will come back. So in a way you helped yourself by begging in the first place because now when you DON'T contact her, it will be a much more powerful effect. Hope this helps and good luck.

  5. #5
    GoatMcGoaterson is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need advice with recent Breakup

    Wow, serious thanks Batman. Thank you for putting the time and effort into reading and responding. That is exactly what I needed to read. I was going to try and do something like that, but what you say makes perfect sense. I already tried talking to some girls at a coffee shop and got one of their numbers.

    I won't call or do anything and will try not to think about her. Concentrating on getting my degree and getting a part time job and catching up with old friends.

    I'll let you know if anything happens or if I find another girl. Thanks again for the awesome advice.

  6. #6
    GoatMcGoaterson is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need advice with recent Breakup

    What you said was right Batman, she called me back and we did get back together. That was two months ago.

    Since then, things between us have gotten worse because I haven't been able to see her as often. One weekend she suddenly went cold on me and told me that she was out somewhere and busy. That monday she broke up with me. She told me that she can't do this anymore because she doesn't trust me and that there is no spark between us anymore. I acted emotionally at first but then I remember what you told me. I told her that I think it was best for both of us to break up and goodbye. That SAME night she calls me back saying that she thinks about me all the time and that she misses me. I just played it cool and then at the end of the convo she said she misses me, and by force of habit for being with her for so long I said I missed her too and hung up.


    After this I went no contact for a week and a half and guess who calls me. She says that she thinks I'm an asshole for having a dating website profile up already and that I lied to her when I said that I wasn't going to get over her that quickly. She says she thought I was different from all the other guys and that I cared about her. I told her that she is the one that broke up with me so wtf does she care about any of this? She then said that shes missed me so much. Now because of this I feel I have misjudged the reason for the breakup. I thought she broke up with me to date someone else and get away from my neediness, but now It seems like just the opposite, she wanted me to show her I love her. So, I let her have it all. I told her I miss her and love her and every little detail about how I've been missing her. I even sent her a poem that I wrote her that I wasn't planning on sending to her. She says she misses me too but that she doesn't believe what I'm saying and that she doesn't trust me. Now I'm confused. I basically end the convo by saying DO NOT CONTACT ME unless it is to say that you're SORRY about breaking up with me and that you think you made a mistake.

    Bottom line of what I think is going on: I suspect she broke up with me at first to date someone else. After the no contact she calls me to see what's going on with me. After she confirmed that I still love her she got her fix of me she is done with me I guess? What does she mean that she can't trust me and doesn't believe me? I haven't done anything in the past to justify those feelings. I'm really confused here, any insight would be GREATLY APPRECIATED.

    For now I'm not talking to her unless she calls me and tells me she is sorry and that she thinks she made a mistake by breaking up with me.

  7. #7
    manovertheworld is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need advice with recent Breakup

    (I basically end the convo by saying DO NOT CONTACT ME unless it is to say that you're SORRY about breaking up with me and that you think you made a mistake.)

    This is still on the beta side brother. ie. She can have you back whenever she decides to send a little apology.

    Batman already told you the trick to cold turkey. But what was overlooked was the emphasis on "I'm moving on." Not, I'll be here when you're ready to say sorry. Look into some of the test info the girls play. Should have kept her wondering where she stands more of the time. Some Push-Pull would have helped and you wouldn't have gotten that "no spark" bs.

    Find a new one, keep it elusively business on your side and emotional on theirs. Then your emotions will be tended to well.

  8. #8
    sniffhummingbird is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need advice with recent Breakup

    Fellas, look at my thread. I was devastated by the breakup. But 4 months down I'm alpha as ever. Balls can be regrown, the Red Pill can be reswallowed


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