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  1. #21
    Berglynt is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Lost girlfriend to a PUA - long distance relationship

    We talked a bit this morning and then flirted a bit; then she cut it off and and just didn't respond to my last im. I think she feels guilty flirting with me and talking to me so much even though she is involved in a relationship. She told me that her bf hates it and they argue about it. Since I sent the last message and she didnt respond, I do not plan to contact her. I'll let her make the next move or we just go back to NC until she does.

    Is this the right move? Does this guilt make her bond with her bf stronger?

  2. #22
    Berglynt is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Lost girlfriend to a PUA - long distance relationship

    My ex is single again, but she still hangs out with her ex. I'm not sure how often. I ask her what she has been up to and she tells me: "we" did this and that. I don't respond to any of the things she says regarding that.

    We talk a lot lately, maybe too much? But our conversations don't go stale even when we talk for hours. We usually stop when one of us needs to go to bed, but even after we say that we talk for a little while longer. I'm not sure where she is at this point. She talks to me all the time and seems like she spends a lot of time with him as well. She initiates contact with me daily the past week, nothing much just little questions about things we've discussed and such. She did say she wanted to see me again, once she was single, but she hasn't said anything about that. I don't think it is something I should bring up, but I do want to know where this is going. I want to give her some time to get resituated before starting anything. Is this a good idea?

    Basically, what should I do to try to re-build the attraction? I know this is will be a slow process, but is there a good time to bring up meeting in person? Should I pull back my attention a bit? I haven't been clingy or emotional, I do respond to her text; sometimes within a few minutes other times a few hours just depending on if I have time.

    Thanks,

  3. #23
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Lost girlfriend to a PUA - long distance relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by Berglynt View Post
    Basically, what should I do to try to re-build the attraction? I know this is will be a slow process, but is there a good time to bring up meeting in person? Should I pull back my attention a bit? I haven't been clingy or emotional, I do respond to her text; sometimes within a few minutes other times a few hours just depending on if I have time.

    Thanks,
    It's unlikely she will have forgotten past sexual experiences with you. Either bring one of those up 'hey remember when we made love in the car at that place, that was exciting huh? I thought we'd get caught or seen by someone!' or start escalating your texts towards more sexual inuendo. 'What are you wearing right now?' 'are you not going to send me a text kiss goodnight?' 'you know I never really got rid of that hicky you gave me one night - its a permanent scar'. Something that will test her and you can gauge her reaction safely. If she responds positively you can start to build a little more attraction and Push Pull. Get her excited about you again and then pull back and don't text as often or as potently. You want to try get her into the situation of asking you back out again if you can and you can do that by developing more emotional or sexual text dialogues. You have to give her an exciting reason to meet up with you again and likely she will if she's texting you every night. If she is texting you every night and she doesn't what is the long term point of conversing with her? Eventually one of you will meet someone else and the 'friendship' will be fossilized again. She may just be using you (and her ex) as safe conversation to keep her feeling great about herself 'look at all this attention I get from my ex's' and meanwhile you get nothing beyond text messages and sore fingers. Sometimes it doesn't matter about the timing of texts but the quality of the conversations you have so try inspire her emotions again so she starts wanting more than a phone in her hand .

  4. #24
    Jefe is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lost girlfriend to a PUA - long distance relationship

    This seems bad for you. It is sad to read. Move on.


    Jefe!

  5. #25
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Lost girlfriend to a PUA - long distance relationship

    Yeah, it's been two months, you should really let go, or at least meet other girls.

    You can continue gaming her sure, but she has to be just one among many. If you have to, do this: next time she says she wants to see you again once she's single, say

    "Nooo, don't do that, you found the perfect guy, he is a nice guy, he listens to you, is always there for you, knows you, blablabla", and then bf destroyer, big time

  6. #26
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    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Lost girlfriend to a PUA - long distance relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikalichov View Post
    Yeah, it's been two months, you should really let go, or at least meet other girls.

    You can continue gaming her sure, but she has to be just one among many. If you have to, do this: next time she says she wants to see you again once she's single, say

    "Nooo, don't do that, you found the perfect guy, he is a nice guy, he listens to you, is always there for you, knows you, blablabla", and then bf destroyer, big time
    I agree with Mikalichov, she hurt you bro, I'd move on. If a dog bites you, don't walk near it again.

    But to be completely honest I saw this post a while ago and looked for it again tonight because the BF Destoryer (which most likely is what took her from you) could also be your best chance to get her back.

    Idk who would win though - a PUA-ex or an Intimate ex-flame - both using BF Destroyer on each other... give it a shot
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR


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