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  1. #1
    eurotik is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Exclamation Sent a closure letter to an ex girlfriend of 4 months - Want her back

    So we ended up meeting by chance and we got together for 4 months. midway through the relationship I was controlling and didn't want her to do certain things, I was jealous and didn't trust her. I also kept wanting to spend alot of time with her as she was losing feelings. She ended up breaking up with me, the next day I went to her house to get back with her, we ended up getting back, but when we got back she wasn't giving it her all, maybe because we got back purely on me wanting it back. She did something to me one night that got me very angry and I broke up with her. 3 days later i called her back and told her that i feel what i did was irrational and i cared about her and i didn't want to let her go, she said she was done and it would be best for us not to talk, and at that point i started acting desperate. I contacted her friend on facebook to ask her about us and how she thinks we can get back. Terrible, terrible terrible, and i know i was desperate. My ex contacted me to tell me to never speak to her friends and if i have anything to say to tell it to her. After that night I stopped talking to her for 2 weeks. During the 2 weeks she posted on her twitter: Now that I think about it, I don't even know why I was with you. #realtalk.

    I came up with a message to inject some value into me and I sent it to her via text.

    "I promise with all my heart that this is the last message I will send you. I don't want to say all the typical and desperate things one says when they've farked up because I know I've farked up. One thing I do want to say for closure in all this is thank you. You have so many redeeming qualities that I realize that my place in all this was to make everything possible to make you happy and I failed. But I do remember in the beginning the way we found each other by chance and how we spent 6 hours on the phone just getting to know each other and how your face lit up when we had that wonton soup and how we took care of each other, those days without a care in the world and that's the best thing I can hold onto and take with me. I recognize my faults and problems but this life is about growing and if it takes having lost you to learn the lessons I need to learn so be it. I just wanted to thank you for giving me that opportunity to see what it was like to find a girl so unique and happy and carefree and I know that going forward my purpose is to not let my flaws hold me back from becoming the guy I want to be and appreciate a great thing when I have it. I hope your life is filled with great things because the best that I was able to know of you was your happy essence and I hate to have caused you so much pain because you're worth so much. Even though a lot has happened between us, I will always have a place in my heart for u. What I feel for you Sara is something I've felt for nobody else and whatever you do doesn't change who u are and I see that now. I hope that when u read this u can recognize that everything happens for a reason and finding u was a blessing no matter what. "

    Her reply to that was: "Thank you for your kind words"


    Was the message too much of a final goodbye??
    I don't want anyone telling me to move on because I know I don't want to. I want to win her back and I m going to do whatever it takes. Should i let her sit on what I sent her?
    I must fix what i caused, and I know the mistakes i've done, i think the best thing may be to just wait it out and not contact her after that message, but I need to know if there is anything else i can do. I deleted her from facebook initially after the break up.

    Thank you

  2. #2
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Sent a closure letter to an ex girlfriend of 4 months - Want her back

    Hey eurotik,

    You acted really needy. It's a major turnoff for girls. They want a mature man that can look after them.

    I'd be really surprised if you could turn this around. Start with Virgils newbie guide and start manning up son.

    The Newbie Guide

    rs5096

  3. #3
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    Coze is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Sent a closure letter to an ex girlfriend of 4 months - Want her back

    You know when she gave you the second chance and it didn't work out? That's the message from gods that you shouldn't be together. I'd never ask for a second chance of a second chance because something like that happened to me too but I stopped talking to her after it did't work out the second time.

    But hey!!! That is why the game exists! I would advise you on not looking for a girlfriend or trying to win your ex back but talk to random girls when your out with your mates. Build up your confidence then the relationships would be easier.

    Think of it that way: If your worried that someone is going to cheat on you it's because you have a low self-esteem. If you can change that and make her think YOU are the alpha male and there isn't a guy out there better then you, why would she cheat?

    Hope it makes sense and good luck

    --Coze

  4. #4
    eurotik is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Sent a closure letter to an ex girlfriend of 4 months - Want her back

    If I didn't make those mistakes in the first place I wouldn't be in this position. I need a step by step way on how to fix this and get her back after what I've already done.

  5. #5
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Sent a closure letter to an ex girlfriend of 4 months - Want her back

    Hi eurotik,

    What you need to do is become the man of her dreams. To do this is going to take time because I don't believe she sees you as that person right now.

    So what you got to do is:
    1. If you saw each other frequently: don't contact her at all for a month. If it was less frequent, then your non-contact period should be longer
    2. Start working on yourself in the most positive of ways during the no-contact period. This means start working out if you don't; start working on your emotional intelligence - read books. Internalise Virgils Newbie guide.Work on your goals so that when you do catch up with her, she sees a new vibrant person. Set some inspiring goals for yourself in the next month.
    3. Start dating other people.
    4. After your non-contact period, and you feel you have made real inroads in terms of your development, call her and make a time to see her.
    5. The idea here is to try and be that fella that she has always dreamed of - you need to show it; not talk it.
    6. Try move forward from that meeting.
    Hope this helps
    rs5096

  6. #6
    eurotik is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Sent a closure letter to an ex girlfriend of 4 months - Want her back

    What really killed things was the fact that I tried controlling her by telling her what to do and constantly wanting to spend time with her. Is the message I sent a good message? How can I contact her again when I clearly said it would be the last message I send her? Is there a faster way of getting her back? Should I add her back to facebook?

  7. #7
    roland777 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Sent a closure letter to an ex girlfriend of 4 months - Want her back

    Wow dude. No, you farked up. Too needy and too far gone in my opinion. There's no easy fixes w/ that kind of behavior. Go read Virgil's newbie guide. Start living it. You keep wanting someone to give you hope of an easy fix. Any contact you make w/ her is just gonna push her further and further away. You gotta change how you live life man - if your X comes back around in the process that's just a by product of you changing your game....

  8. #8
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Sent a closure letter to an ex girlfriend of 4 months - Want her back

    eurotik,

    The more you try to control a girl the more she is going to resent you. The message that you sent at the end was not the right thing to do. It contained emotion which is a female energy making you less like the man that she really wants. You need to work on yourself and let time do its thing. Follow above advice - hopefully she will agree to meet with you and you can assess the situation. Do not contact her during the no-contact period which includes facebook

    rs5096.

  9. #9
    eurotik is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Sent a closure letter to an ex girlfriend of 4 months - Want her back

    rs5096 I have a plan. I am going to follow what you say in the next 6 weeks. However i have a little issue. When we broke up i deleted her from facebook which is immature, she knows i have non of my exes on facebook. I want to know if after the 6 weeks of no contact instead of contacting her, i should add her to facebook. In return she will see pictures of me looking better and in different environments. I know how much i messed up but i want to fix it all and fix myself. But facebook...I deleted her, should i eventually re add her?

  10. #10
    eurotik is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Sent a closure letter to an ex girlfriend of 4 months - Want her back

    or should i re add her now and do the no contact period?


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