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  • 1 Post By liukang75

Thread: To give advise or not to

  1. #1
    hereweare is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default To give advice or not to

    Hi,

    I broke up with a girlfriend of about 3 years 5 months ago. It was a serious relationship, we lived together, etc. She broke up with me. I am doing what I can to move on, but I am definitely open to getting back with her.

    She is currently seeing someone, and I have not initiated contact with her for months. She began messaging me from work online and we started talking a little about what she is up to, etc. That lead to her talking to be about issues she is having anxiety with and general life advice.

    I am reluctant to talk to her because I feel like I am just being used for support while some other dude is spending the night with her. I don't want to make myself available like that. At the same time, when we do talk it has been good and I have heard through her friends that she says she cant talk to the new guy like she does with me.

    Should I allow her to make contact with me and talk to her, eventually letting this lead into hanging out again, etc or is it better to let her not enjoy my good advice while she is with this other person?

    Thanks a lot!

  2. #2
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: To give advise or not to

    If you enjoy being a shoulder to cry on that doesn't get laid I'd say go for it. I know it hurts but it's just part of the game. She's using you so that she can move on while keeping you in her orbit. Women are insane my friend. The only way to get her back is to freeze her out and show her that your not to be f'd with.

  3. #3
    hereweare is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: To give advise or not to

    Thank you, you are right. I am not really sure what the best way to move from the Freeze Out stage is. I cutoff all contact for a little over a month and she eventually reached out to me. I have made sure to never initiate contact. She has mentioned she misses talking to me, etc etc but obviously I shouldn't let her have the best of both worlds - Talking to me while being with someone else. So I can totally cut her out again and refuse to help her, but she did come to me after a month.

    When we do talk, I am careful to never be too available, slow to respond at times and when it comes to me everything is "amazing, busy, fun, etc.". What's the next step/ best way to move forward?

    Thanks again!

  4. #4
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: To give advise or not to

    Start gaming over women dude. Either way you win! They ethier come back or you move onto bigger and better things. Every time you win!

  5. #5
    hereweare is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: To give advise or not to

    No doubt, and with the help of this forum I have been able to F close 4 women in the past 2 months, 2 on first dates. These are very good numbers for me.

    With that said, I am just pretty clueless about ex-game. Where to go from the no-contact stage.

    Thanks a lot!

  6. #6
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: To give advise or not to

    If you read my stroy i found and have heard from otherrs the day you actually accept its over and agree with the breakup thats when things actually change, your teh one then who takes control of your life and what happens. I know what your going through mate! Its not nice at all.

    Ex games are a nightmare!

  7. #7
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: To give advise or not to

    Quote Originally Posted by hereweare View Post
    Thank you, you are right. I am not really sure what the best way to move from the Freeze Out stage is. I cutoff all contact for a little over a month and she eventually reached out to me. I have made sure to never initiate contact. She has mentioned she misses talking to me, etc etc but obviously I shouldn't let her have the best of both worlds - Talking to me while being with someone else. So I can totally cut her out again and refuse to help her, but she did come to me after a month.

    When we do talk, I am careful to never be too available, slow to respond at times and when it comes to me everything is "amazing, busy, fun, etc.". What's the next step/ best way to move forward?

    Thanks again!
    What worked for me was guaging her behavior during lc/nc. I let her sweat for awhile and then sent a letter telling her how I thought that things turned out for the best and how I would love to continue to have her in my life but that I couldn't be her friend-but maybe someday we could be friends. I think that a woman has to know that she is going to lose you completely in order for her to come running back. I'm no expert but this worked amazingly for me! I also told her in the letter how much I would miss our talks, her beautiful eyes, and sweet voice. I think most guys forget to push and pull while they're trying to get thier woman back.

  8. #8
    hereweare is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: To give advise or not to

    Thank you guys, I appreciate that. It is a nightmare, and it seems hard to do anything with the ex and not feel like an AFC.

    I do think she is just using me as a shoulder to cry on and I should figure out a good way to shut her down. In my past experiences trying to shut a girl down I was often too much of a jerk which ended up backfiring because then they walked away remembering that (which makes it easier for them instead of them having to remember you as an awesome dude - which plays with their thought process more).

    I am definitely trying to move on and am constantly out, working on new girls and myself but the recent ex is the recent ex . . . you know how it is.


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