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  1. #1
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Question Need some advice. Long post and first post

    First post been lurking for awhile just getting an idea of things .Apologies for the long post! I’ll try to keep this short as poss. Well me and my ex of 3 and a half years split up once in Feb due to her feeling “un appreciated” and no spark. I did all the AFC crap, begged etc terrible anyway we got back together for 2 months but I was far too needy and crap because I didn’t want to lose her again. We found out she was moving away in the summer so we both decided to give it a real go but she didn’t put hardly as much effort in as me.
    Well anyway in April we split up again and I went straight to no contact well tried no. Accept a few Furk ups I drunk dialled once and we had a few text convos, then straight back to nc. Anyway whenever I seen her out after the breakup she would totally ignore me I just use to say hi and keep walking it’s really not worth being rude other. So two weeks ago I got sick of her stuff round my place (we had been split up about 8 weeks).
    So I took it all back and told her that I was ok with the break up now that time has passes and it was the right thing to do, id read that was the top thing to do. She still has me on fb and stuff so sure she checks my wall and stuff. During these months ive got myself some new hobbies and stated smashing the gym whenever I can. Many females have noticed my added muscle and it feels great. During these weeks ive been out loads and started to socialise with women getting phone numbers and such it’s a great feeling.
    Anyway the week after it was my birthday, literally midnight on my birthday she texts me “happy birthday J xx”. I didn’t reply until the morning n just went “thank you ” She replied with “was I the first to text you blab la bla” we just had general convo for abit but I said I had to go to celebrate my birthday.
    Later on that night she drops me round a card posts in through the door it just said “to Strike12, hope you have an excellent birthday and a great night out, love (insert pet name from holiday that only I call her) a winky face xx”
    I just text thanks for the card. She replied n we had abit more convo but is toped replying when I went out on the beer learnt that the hard way! I reply the next day to her question then she replies to me on the Sunday after y Saturday night out asking if I’d had a good night out. I replied later on that day but my friends had put pictures up of girls kissing my cheeks and hugging me on fb. I assume she seen and didn’t reply. So went to no contact. She text me the following Friday i.e. last Friday saying “hi are you in amt ive got summit to drop round” I text saying “ill be in 50 minutes” I was expecting it to be a jacket or summit but nope.
    She was away the weekend of my birthday and in the UK we cannot get lucky charms in many shops and I love them. She went to London and when she was there she bought me some I asked her why she bought me them and she said “just for you” I just said “ahh ok thanks “the convo at my hosue lasted 10 minutes or so just general stuff what she’d been up to but we both had work so she had to leave.
    She texts me abit while imp out on the Friday night just about the England score and talking about the lucky charms. She even started putting xx on texts I just stayed cool and not too pushy.
    I stop texting but reply on the Saturday. No reply. I see her out on the Saturday night and she actually approaches me to say hi n ask how is as I was gobsmacked. Convo was nice and light and she excused herself to dance. I ended up dancing with other women and I heavy heard a thing back since, as I text on the Sunday asking if is he had a good night like she did the week before, yep you guessed it no reply. Is she just trying to head furkk me lol! I tried to show her I have other options not just her by dancing, flirting with other females.
    Don’t get me wrong I know if she doesn’t come back I win either way because I get someone better. Don’t worry ive gone back to nc. Just what do you think she’s doing?


  2. #2
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    Default Re: Need some advice. Long post and first post

    The "spark" she's mentioning is usually the lack of being a challenge or a puzzle to her. When you followed the rules of no contact and she started to chase you, you basically gave her the emotional space to do that and showed you were a challenge and a puzzle. Because you weren't really biting when she text you and sent you cards etc. it made her want to try harder to get your attention. It was flawless and kudos to you my friend.

    Now there could be three things happening.

    1. You gave up some of your challenging behavior somwhere upstream and she now knows she has you again. Or has you "figured out" again. If so, then remain a challenge, like you have been before, until you sleep with her.

    2. That you were TOO good at being a challenge and now she feels there is no hope. That she has been trying and trying and that you aren't budging an inch. Change this up by showing her some interest, but calibrate with a little disinterest so not to scare her off.

    3. That she found some kind of womens PUA techniques and wants you to chase her instead and write posts on the forum asking what her behavior signifies lol. However if she IS trying to use some techniques to get you to chase her then it's a good thing since it simply means she wants you, where before there was no "spark."

    Hope this helps and good luck.

  3. #3
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need some advice. Long post and first post

    Hmm its just selecting which option it is now isnt it lol. But i take it the above is a good sign? i havnt heard anything from her since i text her on sunday and got no reply. So im totally stumped lol. Not only was i not a challenge i admitt i was needy when we got back together.

    Which route would you go down now?
    I dont think its option 2 as i thanked her for the cards and lucky charms with a freindly hug.
    Thanks man . This PUA stuff is interesting!!!!!!!!!

  4. #4
    pwonager is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need some advice. Long post and first post

    Quote Originally Posted by striker12 View Post
    Hmm its just selecting which option it is now isnt it lol. But i take it the above is a good sign? i havnt heard anything from her since i text her on sunday and got no reply. So im totally stumped lol. Not only was i not a challenge i admitt i was needy when we got back together.

    Which route would you go down now?
    I dont think its option 2 as i thanked her for the cards and lucky charms with a freindly hug.
    Thanks man . This PUA stuff is interesting!!!!!!!!!
    I think she wants you, next time you see her put a move on her.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Need some advice. Long post and first post

    There could be many more reasons why she is being this way. Could be a guy, could be something personal going on that has nothing to do with you, period, or whatever. Just give it about two weeks before contacting again. Make it 3 if you think she will contact you within 3 weeks. Then gauge where she is and just remain that challenge.

    I would even go far as giving her mixed signals. Tell her she looks pretty, but you like her hair better up/down. Or make plans with her and tell her you want to see her, then flake. This will make you the puzzle that will bring the "spark" back into the relationship in my opinion.

  6. #6
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need some advice. Long post and first post

    The annoying thing is she started adding loads of german boys that she use to have on fb and they use to send her dirty messages and stuf when she told me i did nothing other than say i was disapointed and didnt want to talk to her she begged me not to split up this was 18months ago. Funnily enhough shes added them all back and goes to germany next week. Wind up merchant or what!

    But an alpha male does not get bothered by this! see im learning haha!

    You really recon she wants me lol? i cant see it tbh

  7. #7
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some advice. Long post and first post

    Only way you would know if she added them is if you checked out her fb. This is something you do not want to do. It's best to stay away from her page....period. And anything else like emails or texts. I know you are curious what she is up to, but this is a dangerous route my friend. Last thing you want to see is a guy posting on her wall "Had a great time last night" or something and then you lose your cool. Let her see ladies write on YOUR wall about how they had a great time with YOU.

    She may just simply be responding to your lack of investment in your current relationship with her. Maintain being a challenge and using push/pull which will create that emotional space for her to chase you. If you ever had a woman say to you " I would have loved to meet up. But you never called me." Or "I wanted to tell you how I feel, but I never felt like you cared." This is all push/pull and works wonders in my opinion

  8. #8
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need some advice. Long post and first post

    cool batman. Yer i need to hide her from my newsfeed! so would you say no contact? untill she returns from germany?

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Need some advice. Long post and first post

    Yes definitely no contact while she's in Germany. She may not be receptive to you and that would be worse. Let her enjoy her escape and sort things out. And just find things to do yourself to keep you busy.

  10. #10
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need some advice. Long post and first post

    Cool well when she gets home that'll be 2 weeks n Afew days. What lines would you use to open contact?


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