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  1. #1
    jamiepablo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Working with my ex. How to re-build attraction?

    Ok, first of all Hello. I know a fair bit about PUA, read up on it years ago. Not bad with women, pretty confident generally etc.

    Anway. I started seeing this girl at work. Shes 7 years older than me but Im very mature for my age (24) and we got along amazingly. Relationship was one big thing after another. After about 7 months we went to India for 5 weeks togther. It was incredible. 2 weeks after it ended. Said there was 'something missing' and that she just didnt feel the same way anymore. So we were together for 8 months, we were very close during the whole time. Im sure it was me being needy and her losing attraction. It probably happended just before we went to India which would have been fine because we were really close there and I was stronger than her there but I was needy again when we got back.

    At first I was upset and showed it. Didnt text her much, was just miserable at work. After a few weeks I started reading PUA stuff again and decided to act like it didnt affect me. She started seeing someone else and posting about how happy she was on facebook and telling or mutal friends about her new man. I didnt react at all. I started dating other women, took up yoga, changed my workout, grew another epic beard, making knives again etc.

    We split up 10 weeks or so ago. The first 6 or 7 weeks were akward. She was distant and cold. After I really didnt care about what she did (blocked her FB posts so I couldnt see anyway) she started acting nicer. A few weeks ago I was away from work and didnt see her. When I got back she was working the same night as me even though she doesnt normally work that night. She was really nice, friendly, touchy, talkative. We even talked about our time in India. It was the same the next day. She was play fighting, teasing, talking about past times.

    Now I could be missreading it. She is still seeing this guy. Its just a bit of a dramatic shift from not caring to being my friend. It also happened after a work mate said 'you seeing that girl tonight?' infront of her and 'what girl' slipped out of her mouth before she walked away.

    How do I approach this? Keep being myself, flirting, teasing and talking about past experiances until we are friends and work from there? It seems to be getting better with her. I feel like we are firting almost like we did when we were courting. I dont have her number anymore so I cant text her but would an indirect message help?

    Sorry this is so long but we shared so much togther and we were so happy im gutted it wa over so soon.

    Thanks for your help.

  2. #2
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Working with my ex. How to re-build attraction?

    Looks like you've been friendzoned. Sorry buddy, you're going to have to become missing from her life completely which is damn near impossible working together. It looks like your making progress building the attraction but she is keeping you as an orbiter nonetheless. Ignore any behavior that doesn't end with her taking her panties off for you! Don't be her friend unless you like giving her emotional support while not getting laid. Become unavailable to her but keep a happy, confident demeanor while in her presence. Make her chase and you might just have a shot. Just a heads up, women will sometimes flirt just so they know that they can have you. I've learned that everything is a shit test with these crazy creatures. Good luck!

  3. #3
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Working with my ex. How to re-build attraction?

    If she touches you again at work, tell her "hey, hands off flirt!", or something like that... Smile at her while your saying it.

  4. #4
    jamiepablo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Working with my ex. How to re-build attraction?

    I see what you mean. The thing is I got to this by ignoring her at work. Should I push/pull? Should I keep bringing up positive past experiances?

    I only work with her once a week normally so its not like I see her everyday. Its hard to know what to do because of it being at work. I dont want to mess it all up and go back to being akward with her again.

  5. #5
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Working with my ex. How to re-build attraction?

    Quote Originally Posted by jamiepablo View Post
    I see what you mean. The thing is I got to this by ignoring her at work. Should I push/pull? Should I keep bringing up positive past experiances?

    I only work with her once a week normally so its not like I see her everyday. Its hard to know what to do because of it being at work. I dont want to mess it all up and go back to being akward with her again.
    You should always push and pull! You can bring up past experiences but be careful not to make it seem like your trying too hard. Remember that what you can't have=attraction. Look how far you got by ignoring her. I'm not saying that you have to completely ignore her from here on out but give her a little and then push again. Next time she touches you, either do what I said in my last post or draw an imaginary line between you two and tell her that she can't cross it, while being playful. They always want to cross it after that! Make her chase...

  6. #6
    jamiepablo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Working with my ex. How to re-build attraction?

    Great advice. Thanks. Its hard to know what to do when your mind is thinking of so many things!

    Im good at playfuly teasing so that sounds the way to go.

    Im made subtle hints at our sexual history and I could see she reacted to it inside. One of the best things about our relationhip was our sex life. It didnt die off at all and the day before we broke up we had fantastic sex. Should I make subtle remarks as to this? They obviously would be really sly and only she would understand. Would this stir desire do you think? Its probably the thing Im confident the most about that she will remeber me for. Im completely different to him from what Ive heard and seen (a good thing) but amazing ex is amazing sex.

    Thanks for your help.

  7. #7
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Working with my ex. How to re-build attraction?

    Please keep in mind, I am no expert. I don't think bringing up sex would be a good idea. If she already knows that you two had fantastic sex then reminding her might lower your value by projecting too much interest.

  8. #8
    jamiepablo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Working with my ex. How to re-build attraction?

    Good point. Probably no need to mention our sex life. Ill just keep raising my value and making her think that she wants me rather than me wanting her.

    Thanks, I have seen your previous threads and you have a bit of experiance which goes a long way. I take everything I read on the internet with a grain of salt!

  9. #9
    jamiepablo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Working with my ex. How to re-build attraction?

    Im working with her tomorrow. Any push/pull tips and tips of how to build attraction?


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