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  1. #1
    gunner is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question HELP in Patch up with my Ex who is a HOPEFUL ROMANTIC (from: Pandora's box)

    Hello People,
    Need your advice. I’ll try to keep the story short. Ok. Here's my story and what I looking for in two sentences.

    I have recently broken up with my 1st girlfriend, whom I believe is a HOPEFUL ROMANTIC.
    Need help in identifying her type, and giving ideas to patch up with her.

    More Detailed version:
    I am a new member to the PUA Forums, and I have recently gone through the pandora's box a bit, and kind of starting to understand and relate the 8 types of women.

    Since I am bit confused about finalizing her type, I am trying to give you more details, so that you will be able to judge her type. The story involves a bit of cultural differences as both of us are in India.

    She is currently 22yrs old, and I am a day elder to her. I was interested in her from when I was 18yrs old, and never managed to gather to courage to approach her, and she also had a boyfriend (which was her 2nd relationship) at that time. When both of us were 20, we became friends, and then I was influential a bit in helping her break up with her emotional boyfriend, whom she considered was a mistake in her life.
    We became closer and closer, and then after I revealed how much I used to like her and always remain like an invisible shadow noticing her for more than 2 years, we got more attached. And we were in a strange 'unnamed' zone or more like 'no strings attached' zone with a lot of fun, where we went to the levels of Exchanging horny pictures of each other, and a lot of sex talk with video chat. (This might sound a bit lame. But, this was the level I could get maximum to, and that is even down to the strong cultural values we have in this country, acting as a hindrance).

    She also revealed about the secret relationship she had in 16, with her non-blood related uncle, whom she adored as she grew up for his qualities. (I became very emotionally hurt when I heard this, and then started to accept the fact, and she even knew I was having trouble with that fact.) And then was her 2nd boyfriend whom she met in school and on and on.

    She started sharing everything about her. Good and Bad. She was a perfect idealist, as she believed in a beautiful happy family with all the relatives around and blah blah, although she portrayed it like all the family and society stuff was a fake. She used to tell me how much of an understanding guy I was, and that it was such a pleasure being around me, as I never forced her for anything. (This was with reference to her previous relationships where the others begged to stay and not to leave)

    So, 6 months of friends zone, and a year of 'Intimate' zone, and we were almost like 24/7 in touch. And then came my job, we were 250 miles apart. We could not communicate and be in touch as before, as we both were active in different time zones, due to my job. Then all of a sudden, her parents had arranged for her marriage (which she knew was going to happen one day). She tried to portray it like she had no other choice and had to go by her parent's words. This was a horrible phase as I could not accept the fact that she threw me away just like that without even considering me in her future for the sake of happy times. I stopped the marriage anonymously. And she knew it obviously. Her parents knew it. I screwed the whole situation. So did she, actually.

    And then was the phase of frustration, blackmailing and anger for a period of 4 months for both of us. There were even short stints of happy phases during this phase, and I screwed it up again and then she vanishes, and I used to call her continuously and on and on. And I don't think I have to explain more about this embarrassing phase.

    NOW, when I get access to the Vin Dicarlo Pandora's Box basics, and PUA forums, I realize all the mistakes that I have done and how much of a dumb guy I was without understanding the basics of female psychology. Done is done. What's the point of knowing the DONT's after you have done them all already?!! I have not been touch with her for the past two months, after the recent stint of happy phase.

    I want to confirm if she shows signs of a Hopeful Romantic. Whatever type she is, what should I do to get her back?

    One more thing to add is that: During our relationship, she always kept on confirming that we were just something more than friends and definitely not lovers. Since, I was constantly making an issue out of it, She started saying that we might have a chance in the future and so let us give it a try.

    P.S. Although, She never made it official, we had all the fun. She was the best thing that had happened to me so far. But, she always made me in the wait state, and never confirmed it was a love.

    Waiting for her to call me someday is irritating, as it seems impossible. And calling her again is also scary, as she will bluntly refuse and act rude, and the self-control, I had for 2 months would also go for a waste. Should I approach or wait?

    P.S. Need your HELP guys. Is she a hopeful Romantic as I predicted? If not, what type? And what should I do to get her back? Please feel free to ask any questions related to this.
    Last edited by gunner; 06-30-2012 at 12:04 PM. Reason: Formatting Change

  2. #2
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: HELP in Patch up with my Ex who is a HOPEFUL ROMANTIC (from: Pandora's

    I won't pretend that I am familiar with your culture so I will try to come from a universal standpoint.

    So I'm sure you understand by now that people generally enjoy a challenge. Well I'm going to further that idea.....

    When you were a child, it took all your mental and physical energy to know how to walk. You did it so much until it became second nature to you so then you could put your focus on other things. Like learning to feed yourself, use the toilet, back your own lunch, socialize, pay bills, drive a car etc.

    We as humans are natural problem solvers. Our society has evolved because we need to stimulate ourselves by solving something. Relationships are not out of this realm. Usually when someone has you "solved" or "figured out" it is no longer a stimulation and now it has become their ball game. It is up to them whether they want to pursue you or not. By maintaining the idea that you are a challenge or "puzzle" she has to solve, will increase the chances in your favor. Just reverse the roles that you and her play and imagine if your behavior was reflected through her and hers through yours. Then you should be able to see some things that I am talking about. She has been the challenge that you have been trying to "conquer" this entire time. It's time to reverse the roles in her eyes so that way she chases you.

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