Hi everyone...just need some advice as I still really care about my ex!
Basically I was with my girlfriend for just under 2 years, we had been friends for years and always liked each other but never acted on it because of bad timing, etc. Basically we got together just before she started university and I was in my third year (she's 21 im 22 but she had a gap year). We were long distance but the 1st year we saw quite a lot of each other as we were only a 2 1/2 -3 hour train journey away and chatted on the phone and live literally 5 minutes away from each other when we are at home.
It was amazing throughout the first year as our unis were only 2 hours away and we saw each other every 2 weekends. That summer, and we went on holiday etc, but the next year when she was in her 2nd year i started my job at home, which is more like a 5 hour train ride. The 1st term was great and we saw each other every 3 weeks or so no problem. the next however, i could come up as much and she came down each time. When she came home for east we had a massive fight and i basically broke up with her. It wasn't her fault at all and it was because of my sister being ill and my parents trialling a divorce (i never told her about the divorce thing however). we made up and had a great week but the week after she went back to uni for the last 5 weeks for her exams and I didnt see her at all.
During this time we were really distant, i was working my ass of a work to get a job offer which i finally got and my parents were still fighting. my sister then almost committed suicide and if im honest i was struggling with everything. As my gf had exams i never told her any of this. i could tell she was being distant and i thought it was stress on both our ends and that when she got back we could talk and get through it. we kept having petty fights and neither of us seemed happy. we both were being petty and never booked a holiday because of me saving money for my training etc.
The week she got back i took off work as it was both our birthdays and she was back. I wanted to talk about everything but the first time i saw her she dumped me said it would get better over the summer but the rubbish when she went back to uni. she told me she had made her decision and that was that. obviously i didnt take it well and although i told her about my sister she was really cold and although was sympathetic obviously didnt want to talk about it. I text her the next day trying to convince her out of it and she got really cold and said i have to accept my decision. I know it was a bad choice on my end but keep reading and you might get why i was desperate to get her to give me a chance on oure birthday.
3 days (the day after our birthdays - i know same day wierd!) later i dropped a letter around about how i felt and saying that it would get better etc. She emailed me and then met me saying theres nothing left between us, iv changed since iv been at work and she doesnt know if she loves me anymore. i havnt spoken to her since and its been 4 weeks since we broke up now and i havnt heard anything. shes been on holiday for a week with her best girl mate for her 21st which was already planned. I had booked us a weekend in Paris for our 2 year in August and as her birthday present. It was to make up to her for being so distant, explain what had been going on, celebrate my new job and generally get us back to the place we used to be. She obviously doesn't know about this, and I have cancelled it now, or about my parents. Shes right that i dont open up enough i just didnt want to distract her from her exams. she said shes been unhappy and stressed over exam period with thinking about us rather than her exams.
I dont know whether to this week. I want to explain everything but it hasnt been good between us for a while (because of everything) and obviously i only have a couple of months to fix it before she goes back to uni. Because i got this job offer im up training 2 days a week every month only an hour away from her so i can see her more and i dont have to worry about saving money as they are funding it. Stuff has sorted out at home too so if im honest im in a much better place now. I want to talk to her and explain that it can be better, but the only way i can do that is if she gives me a chance. i know she thinks that if she spends time with me it'l be harder when she goes back so i dont think shes giving me a chance.
Ive done no contact for 4 weeks but figure i need to speak to her whens she's calm. I was figuring meet her for coffee hopefully next week and just see how it goes. If well try and get her to come for a drink with me and then explain everything and say id like to start again and take her out on a date. I just think she's lost belief and she's obviously planned the break up and put a lot of thought in it and i dont think she'l change her mind easily. To be fair the majority of the blame is on me but shes been really immature about the way shes ended it and i dont think shes given me a real chance. She says we have since easter but in those 5 weeks i havnt seen her. I want to open up and show her that we wont fight but i dont know how to play it! I do really care about her and after 2 years long distance theres only two terms of her uni left until shes home with me. Obviously I've only got like 2 months to get through to her before she goes back so i dont know what to do. Shes always been the one fighting for us when I've had doubts and I think shes given up and ended it to avoid seeing me as if we spent time with me it would get better and then she'd have to go back to uni.
Sorry for blabbing on and anyone whose got any helpful advice id love to hear it! I know that at the end of the day if she doesn't want to try and give up then its a real shame and I will be gutted for a longtime but at the end of the day I needed to work to secure the training for my job and if she had taken priority i might resent her if i'd missed out on it. I just want to show her that i know i took ehr for granted but if she had given me a week she would have realised due to the birthday plans etc. Whenever I have broke/been broken with by a past girlfriend I have thought it was for the best but I do really care for my ex and really want her back. I believe it could work but i feel like shes freezing me out so that she can try and convince herself its the right decision. Thanks for your help.