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  1. #1
    M3RL1N is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default GF of 1 Year, Lives super close, should I contact her, or try and move on

    First post ever, so go easy on me if I say something I shouldn't.

    So my GF of 1 Year broke up with me 4 months ago because she didn't feel "In-Love", she said relationship was boring. We got along really well almost never fought. I never played games with this girl, I was always myself and I feel like she made me want to be a better guy. I was pretty broken up about it. I've read that there should be more drama in a relationship to keep it interesting. I've determined that the relationship was a little too one sided, and I should have fought for what I wanted more. But either way...

    The worst part is that she lives literally 1 house away from me (I lived there first and she moved in next door, even after I told her it was a bad idea.) We don't really run into each other though since we are on opposite streets and drive opposite directions for work, but my buildings laundry room looks right at her kitchen window.

    I told myself I would just move on and try and improve myself and if she wanted to come back I would just wait for her to make a move since she broke up with me. After about a month I was doing a lot better, was dating a new girl, interested in another. But neither of those really worked out, then I ran into the ex. It was difficult but I was ok. A few weeks later I ran into her again, and she was really flirty and telling me about how tough a time she has been having. I was dressed up in some nice new clothes, and out with a bunch of fun guy friends. This was over a month ago, and I haven't been able to move on again. Every time I leave the house I'm hoping that I will run into her. I messaged her a little bit a week or so ago after I walked by her and she looked at me and and i just kept walking. I apologized for blowing her off since I was in a hurry to meet up with some people and she said she didn't deserve an apology, and that it was really nice of me to text her. blah blah blah small talk. Goodnight

    Should I contact her and try and start something up again? She seemed like she felt bad for breaking up with me in her texts, but she hasn't made any attempt to contact me. Its so hard to let her go, when I walk by her house every day, but we don't really run into each other. Part of me thinks I should play it cool, try and forget about her and don't look at her window when i walk by. But part of me wants to just talk to her and see where she is at and maybe then it will be easier to move on if she's not interested.

    Sorry for the novel, and thanks for the advice guys!

  2. #2
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: GF of 1 Year, Lives super close, should I contact her, or try and move

    There's definitely alot of Tension between you to, which may be reason enough for her to not want to risk being rejected by you. But this is pure speculation.

    If you want to relieve this tension my suggestion would be to bring the situation to her attention. In a fun tone of voice (like you were teasing) try and say to her "Hey just because it ended doesn't mean we can't be friends." Then transition to normal conversation. This is what's called a disqualifier. Which will enable you to be able to escalate with her later when you start hanging out as "friends." Hope this helps and good luck.

  3. #3
    M3RL1N is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 1 Year, Lives super close, should I contact her, or try and move

    Yeah I may have said something along the lines of I don't think we can be friends after this when we broke up, everytime I have seen her in the past it is like tearing open the wound all over again. But you think it would be a good idea to contact her, but keep it friendly. Maybe invite her to do something fun but innocent?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: GF of 1 Year, Lives super close, should I contact her, or try and move

    Exactly. Showing that you are "over it" and welcome her back into your life is a good start. Make it a "no pressure" kind of relationship. That means NO talking about the past and NO talking about the future.....at first. Even if she tries....change the subject. This will create intrigue. Let it grow naturally and make sure she can't figure out your intentions. Become the puzzle she wants to solve and only reveal things alittle at a time. Like an episode of Lost. That show was addictive!

    The basic formula is to create intrigue by presenting unfinished elements about yourself. When she is intrigued, you don't give it away right away. Right when it seems that she is going to give up trying is when you reveal whatever she wanted to know, but try to create more questions in your answer.

  5. #5
    M3RL1N is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 1 Year, Lives super close, should I contact her, or try and move

    I like the sound of this, now i just need to find something fun to invite her to, or an excuse to get together.

    Thanks!

  6. #6
    M3RL1N is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 1 Year, Lives super close, should I contact her, or try and move

    Think inviting her over for 4th of July BBQ would be a good idea?

  7. #7
    mikey2012 is offline Banned For Disrespect To Women
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    Default Re: GF of 1 Year, Lives super close, should I contact her, or try and move

    Dude, how old are you? why do you give a crap? Move on and look for other chicks. If she likes you, she will come back, if not, then there will be others. No chick is worth this much hassle. Remember , men are hunters, women are the prey.

  8. #8
    leemr2012 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 1 Year, Lives super close, should I contact her, or try and move

    I know that this is tough buddy. I have recently come out of a 3 year relationship, I AM 20 lol.

    I don't know a great deal about sarging or PUA as such but I can tell you that once it's over it's over. It will never work again. The hardest step is to admit that to yourself..

    You cannot be friends with this person. You need not to be an asshole but to make sure that you do not lead her on, or in anyway go back there. Just go out, nail some chicks and keep it on the downlow.

    Possibly post on here the details It's hard I know buddy but it will make you stronger for it

  9. #9
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: GF of 1 Year, Lives super close, should I contact her, or try and move

    It's possible to invite her to this July 4 BBQ. Just a no pressure invite. I say go for it. Life takes a lot of twist and turns and you just never know what you'll get when you start throwing bait out. Try not to have any REAL expectations, because we all know that that is just a recipe for dissappointment.

  10. #10
    M3RL1N is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 1 Year, Lives super close, should I contact her, or try and move

    I'm 27 Yrs old, maybe because all of my friends are getting married off, I feel like i need to be in a LTR right now. Either way, I've been with a few girls since, but can't stop thinking about this one. Never had this issue with past GF's maybe the proximity is what is killing me.

    I asked her, she had plans but said she would come if they get cancelled, her tone was really happy to hear from me though. And I teased her about her friend being a cheapskate, (funny thing from our past.)

    Feeling better about the situation now, my buddy's sister is going to be at my place on the 4th, she's super hot but she looks just like one of my best friends? That make me gay?


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