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Thread: Ex girlfriend dating another man

  1. #1
    baltazar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Ex girlfriend dating another man

    I broke up with my girlfriend for about 3 months, and try with all
    wrong stuff to get her back such as begging, crying, stalker her,
    logic ((
    After a month she went to another man, she said that she wants to
    forget me and that she dont love him, that she still has feelings for
    me ... Now after almost months and half of her new relationship their
    friends told me that she fell in love with him. How can that be
    possible? is that rebound or she really over me?

    During that time i went in NO CONTACT, just to heal myself so i could
    continue with plan of getting her back. I still love her a lot, but
    now i m not lead with emotions so i can do better things. I go a lot
    out, spend time with my friends and talk with other girls. But,
    yesterday i was in caffe bar with friend and my friend calls her best
    friend and her to join us for our table. My ex seat near me and we
    start talking, i just tease her and make her laugh. She even not
    resist if i touch her. Now i m confused, it seams that her body
    language accept that .

    I didnt talk about us and past, i just think if i try to get somehow
    in her life again and be patience, i could take her over.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Ex girlfriend dating another man

    I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's a very confusing time and alot of things don't make sense...on a logical level. From an emotional perspective it makes perfect sense. There's a philosphy I learned and I preach it quite a bit on this forum. But it has to do with focusing on changing her MOOD, and not her MIND. When you were hurting and trying to CONVINCE her to take you back by begging, stalking etc. it only put pressure on her and pushed her away. This is something you already know. But what you may NOT know is that because that night you were being playful with her and teasing her you are spreading GOOD feelings in that moment and that should be your focus.

    It is a very good thing you have not tried to talk about the relationship with her. DON'T! Not ever. Even if you think it's a good time.....STOP....it' s not. Allow her to bring it up when she is ready and let her lead the conversation.

    There is always an underlying tone in every interaction whether it's positive or negative. When you are talking to people try to take notice of the underlying emotions. Are they humorous, depressing, uncomfortable, sexual, sympathy, empathy, and many many others. But they are usually postive or negative. Pay attention to this and always change it to something positive, even if you have to completely ignore what someone said and bring up your own topic. If it's postive and stronger than their frame, then they will fall into it. So keep keep teasing and being playful with NO expectations and she will sort it out herself if she wants to get back together. Plus allowing her to see you with other women doesn't hurt. As long as you keep a strong frame when she challenges you on it. Keep me updated and I will try to help further.

  3. #3
    baltazar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex girlfriend dating another man

    Thanks
    I will give you now more info about everything:

    We were together for 2 years, i was her first ...
    It hurt me when she told me that she slept with him after few days of their relationship. I was so angry and i told her lots of bad words, after that i felt wrong so i go to her and excuse for that. I just afraid that she is fell in love with him, even i dont know if it is possible for short amount of time. Also, i didnt go out with her so often, didnt call her 10 times per day during our relationship. Now her new boyfriend take her everywhere, calls her all the time, give her everything i couldnt. It seems happy with him. Last night i saw her again, i start tease her and she punch me at back, she calls me funny name and didnt refuse my touching of her body. Also i think that she ask her best friend about me, and that friend is our mutual friend. Is it ok to continue contact with her? it is difficult for me knowing she has sex with him and possible love him but i love her! Any advice from people of this great place is welcome. I just need good plan to try get her back

  4. #4
    pwonager is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex girlfriend dating another man

    Hey bro, i suggest you keep doing what you're doing. If she starts accepting your Kino as you say, then grab her hips and pull her close to you, and look into her eyes.

    Then touch her cheek, and go in for the kiss. Now let things progress naturally, don't act needy or AFC.

  5. #5
    baltazar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex girlfriend dating another man

    What you think, should i call her to drink? should i try to get closer to her?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Ex girlfriend dating another man

    I wouldn't make plans with her just yet. She may get pushed away again before you even had a chance to get her back. Keep it cool and let her come to you. Everytime she does just spread those good feelings.

    Pwonager is right. Keep escalating when you two are together. Even tease her and make her THINK you want to kiss then pull away at the last second. This builds Tension and will get her to jump on you.

    It is not easy to get over an ex sleeping with someone else. What usually helps is that YOU sleep with someone else. I would even sleep with more than 5 women. If you don't want to sleep with anyone then at least flirt with other women. It will help you get your mind off of things.

  7. #7
    baltazar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex girlfriend dating another man

    any idea how might test her to see if she still cares?
    Her friends told me she dont love me anymore and she is in love with that man. Cmon, less then 2 months and she already over me?? I doubt in that, but i dont know, maybe it is true

  8. #8
    easyflow is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex girlfriend dating another man

    Rebound my friend. She does have feelings for the guy, she slept with him. When the 2 of you were together, I am thinking you 2 had sex regularly? You were intimate and close and shared a lot. She is used to that high level of intimacy with you. When you 2 ended things she was still used to the high level of intimacy, so when she met the new guy, it was not a big deal for her to sleep with him, or be with him, or tell him she loves him. She is used to doing that with you.

    She is for sure missing you, and she is probably hurting as well, however this new relationship is a bandage to help her get over the relationship she had with you. Once she gets her "head back", there is a chance she will eventually see that this new guy is not someone she would normally date. She may end things with him. However not all rebounds end, but when they do it can be months. And if it does end, it doesn't mean she is going to come running back to you.

    I think it is best to still see her, and be flirty and listen to what the others have posted, and also get out and date. It doesn't mean you have to fall in love with the girl you go on a date with, but it is fun, and makes you feel good that another person other than your ex, realizes how awesome of a person you are.

    Dude, I have gone through what you are going through, it is touch my friend, but you gave NOT lived a full life with out experiencing a broken heart.

    Now go out and have some fun!

  9. #9
    baltazar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex girlfriend dating another man

    Hmm, she just "transfer" feelings in rebound from me to him? I will go out, be with friends, flirt with other women and eventually find a girl for date. so now i wondering, what should be better, to go out and get as much as possible girls or just to find ONE, so she can see that maybe it is serious for me ...
    When i find myself in her company, just do flirting, Kino, teasing or should i be out of reach for her?? I m thinking if i do lots of kino and try escalating maybe she will refuse me?

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Ex girlfriend dating another man

    easyflow is right. She is simply not used to being alone so she would probably accept any nice guy willing to show her that comfort she is used to and could very easily be misinterpreted as love. And if you put pressure on her it just gives her current relationship almost like a "forbidden fruit" kind of taste. Very small percentage of rebounds actually work out anyways. We cannot control women, only influence them by being in control of ourselves. So there's no doubt she needs time to figure things out.


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